Wish... and Need.

Cruel fact of life...

When you just wish you can achieve something, no matter how hard (you thought) you have tried, you shall not get the right result.

But when you NEED to do something, it's there in your mind, there's a slim chance you'll be able to do it..... however slim it is.... it's still a chance...

This clearly demostrate that people are usually not operating at their maximum potential... cause they're just bonded by their self-imposed "boundries" (which usually comes from expectations/negative images from people around you... or self-confidence)....

I just found my need of life.... i need to achieve my goal..... just hope it's not too late...

No Connections....

What if...

One day the whole internet network collapse?

Will we...

Be able to live the life we once life before (before the 90's when internet connection is still the previlage of academicians?)?

I think not....

Just hope that someday they'll think of some more genius ways to get the whole world connected..... unlike they way they link us up via fragile fibre-optic wires.

Love Actually.

Love Actually.... certainly the best movie in christmas time.... just give you the feeling to hug everyone you cared.... Love it so much~

To my friends, Merry Christmas to you all.

Tired....

Dunno why... but just tired...

I must get going soon...

Festive time....

Dont know why, but a line of lyrics keep humming in my head lately...

"要任性過 要倔強過 才是對青春不悔麼"
過來人 - 何嘉莉

Enough regret already...

I'm never a festival lover...

Hate the contrast it brings, for the lonely...

Dream...

Weird...

Weird dream last night...

If that's made a movie, it'd be a sell-out.

What is the deepest fear in my mind?

World Record.

Slow....

That concludes my day...

How hard is it to break a world record?

Talked to Kennon regarding the World Record thing.... suddenly miss those days so much.... (thanks for reminding that what a secondary student can do doesnt mean an adult can equally take up the same job.... degeneration of a kind, maybe?)

I think it's not so hard afterall.... I (together with my most trusted comrade) have had an attempt in 2002 :P It's real simple~

So buddy, all the best to you, and should you need any help, i'd love to devote myself in this monkey business all over again.

Coat

Curse the Britons for making the coat so delicate and nice.... but at the same time so darn expensive...

I'm not particular fond of Jose Mourinho but his coat do look good.... i found one in Sogo today that cost some pricey $7000 dollars..... OMG....

Slacking off this two days.... need to work again~

請你為你的誇獎道歉

她到北歐某國做訪問學者，週末到當地教授家中做客。

進屋看到教授五歲的小女兒，滿頭金髮，漂亮的眼睛如同清澈純藍的一潭湖水，簡直驚為天人。收下朋友帶去的中國禮物，小女孩奶聲奶氣的微笑道謝，朋友經不住誇獎說：「你長得這麼漂亮，真是可愛極了。」

教授當時並沒有說什麼，但是女兒走了後，她的臉色嚴肅起來：「你傷害了我的女兒，你要向她道歉。」
朋友大驚：「我一番好意誇獎她，傷害二字從何談起？」
教授搖搖頭：「你是因為她的漂亮而誇獎她，而漂亮這件事不是她的功勞，這取決於我和她父親的遺傳基因，與她個人基本沒有關係。但孩子還小，不會分辨，你的誇獎就會讓她認為是她的本領。而且她一旦認為天生的漂亮是值得驕傲的資本，就會看不起長相平平或是醜陋的孩子，這就給孩子造成了誤解。」

「其實，你可以誇獎她的微笑和有禮貌，這是她自己努力的結果。」所以，教授聳聳肩：「請你為你剛才的誇獎道歉。」

後來呢？我不禁問朋友。 後來，我就很正式的向教授的女兒道歉了。同時表揚她的微笑和有禮貌。而且從那以後，每當我看到漂亮的孩子，我都會對自己說，忍住你對他們容貌的誇獎，從他們成長的角度來說，這種事要處之淡然。孩子不是一件可供欣賞的瓷器或是一片可供撫摸的羽毛。他們的心靈像很軟的透明皂，每次不當的誇獎都會留下劃痕。

That's meaningful... Thanks Bonny.

Rules of life~

What are the essentials in life?

I'm still figuring it out....

but one thing is very important for me...

To keep everything simple.

Simple-minded.

Though it's very hard.

Complicated - Avril Lavigne

"Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated."

死性...不改...

忘了...忘不了...

What's happening to me?

Just for fun~

Maybe it's a little better to be the other way round.

Misunderstand

Thanks for all the encouragements....

You make me believe i can make it through.

Tiny actions sometimes make tremendous impact.

You light up my day.

Thank You. And Blessings to you.

PS. Misunderstandings misunderstood.

Revision

It's time for war again... but this time, I feel a glimpse of hope...

Decided to tackle the problem from the beginning... that is, from my year 1 notes....

Finally is due day to repay all my debts.

Still got time, Everything is possible.

To Janice, I know you're soon going to have your exam too, add oil~ and occassionally give granny and grandpa a call, they'll miss you.

All the best,
Love from Cousin.

Be Myself.

When love and hate is so hard to distinguish...

I have decided not to think about it.

I no longer care if the world view me as a hero or villain...

I just, want a simple life.

Dear Grandpa,

Please dont die.

I did it for you - Westlife

A Life without taking chances
Is no kind of life at all
You've gotta stand up for something
Even if you might fall

Gotta take that road
Wherever it might go
No matter where
No matter what
I want you to know
I want you to know

I... Tried to do my best
To do the best I could
I... Had to give my all
It's what I had to do
And I'd... Do it all again
And that's the honest truth
I... I did it for you

Maybe I was crazy
I guess I was sometimes
And maybe it's hard to change things
But I had to know what's right
Everyday you've got to live
For what you believe
Please understand
I had no choice
It's what had to be
It's what had to be

I... Tried to do my best
To do the best I could
I... Had to give my all
It's what I had to do
And I'd... Do it all again
And that's the honest truth
I... I did it for you

Oh,
And I had no choice, no
It was something that I believed
A dream that was driving me
A fire inside of me

I... Tried to do my best
To do the best I could
And I... Had to give my all
It's what I had to do
I'd... Do it all again
And that's the honest truth
I... I did it for you
I... I did it for you
I did it for you

我不愛 - 孫燕姿

你消失了　愛消失了
跟隨的我　去哪裡
我想過要放棄
自己說放棄　要放哪裡

愛已經讓我　認識我自己
在眼淚流下的味道裡
感覺不到你　才知道丟了自己

我不愛　不能愛　你給的未來　
我不愛　不能愛　你離開了我的現在　
離開現在　不回來
再等待等什麼　沒有你沒有愛存在

誰陪過我　無聲哭泣
在我最糟的夜裡
你肯定我所有的努力
最難忘那句　我了解你

一切轉變了　推翻了過去
空白　傷害　
錯　會在哪裡
我想我在那裡

我不愛　不要愛　悲傷的存在
我不愛　你不在　還以為能繼續的愛
以為再也　回不來　
再等待等什麼　我不知道如何再愛

I'm with you...

"And you know and you know
'Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow
So before I'm old I'll confess
You think that I'm strong
You're wrong
You're wrong"

Strong - Robbie Williams

"I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but theres no sound

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
but I, I'm with you
I'm with you...

I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here i know
cause nothings going right
and everythings a mess
and no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I, I'm with you
I'm with you

Oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I, I'm with you

Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I, I'm with you"

I'm with you - Avril Lavigne

Stressed X2

Still... Stressed.

Mayday Mayday Mayday......

I'm just lost...

I need a map, if there is one...
I need light, but the sky is too obscured...

I need you... if you're still reading...
Where are you?

STRESSED.

..........................

Give me a mix of Testosterone, Oestrogen, Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Serotonin, Oxytocin and Vasopressin... That shall keep me calm.

Happiness...

"來尋覓快樂　它等你等你去搜索"
極樂 - 周國賢

原來.... hapiness is always around us.... they're just hiding from us.... all you have to do is to go out and search for them...

Found the joy of treating my 5 years-0ld today, she's just lovely...

Nap during lunch time.... that's cozy~

Got a rathering boring afternoon class but it's alright.... for it didnt last long...

Became a Sun Worshiper~ Looking at the sun so warm and bright when leaving the hospital today... it's been some time (maybe a year or so?) since i last caught glimpse of sunlight when school's over..... nothing can be better to brighten my mood~

And best of all.... I'm about to catch a nap soon (to replenish my energy... i've been too ill this weekend to rest properly).... dunno when i'll wake again... but does it matter? It's going to be a good sleep~~

無需要太多 - 張敬軒

....曾失去太多....

Dreams.

Weather is changing...
Fallen ill.... once again.

In my dreams... I saw you...
Will I be there in your dreams too?

從今開始 - 黎明

How long... is eternity?

"誰人又相信一世一生這膚淺對白?"
K歌之王 - 陳奕迅

I do not believe in eternity... for it is undefined....

When making promises, I'll only believe in concrete durations...

Give me 5 years... I shall renew my commitments to you on your 25th Birthday.

"It's easy to hurt and hard to heal
I wish you would try to make me feel
That you still care, you still care"
Undone - Patrick Nuo

In Class...

In class right now.... so boring... i'm just fully utilizing my time (part searching the web for journals and part writing my blog....)....

My sleep has been real bad lately.... luckily i had no class on thursday that i slept through half of the day.... originally i planned to wake earlier but just too drained..... nothing more can be done... only wake around 3 in the afternoon....

Woke and helped Kathy in doing her Final Year Project..... Hall Education.... something that is very related to me but seldomly researched.... i'm honoured that i can give my views on this in her report..

Spent the whole afternoon doing the interview....

One's heart is dead when he can turn down request from a tear-soaked people...

Feel so bad.....

Started to feel sick in mid-night... Thanks Kathy and Jonathan for delivering treatment to me...

Guilty Conscience.

Friend of Foe?

Rough, rough sleeping lately... constantly haunted by dreams... they are such a nightmare that keep me up whole night, or sometimes, they're sweet but i wake in the middle of the dream to see the cruel reality, that's when i almost go demented...

Received a rather unusual summon by my tutor.... he has referred me a case (originally handled by a junior of mine) with management problem..... I really cant judge his motive.... whether he is confidence in my patient management skills or is he just finding a scapegoat such that later he can put all the blame on me? I really cant tell...... All i want to do is to finish the case real fast and get him discharged from my patient care pool.....

Paid a visit to grandpa today, he seems quite okay but we're still worried over his condition.... how tiny human beings are....

Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive this romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Lies.

Liar Liar... Jim Carrey

情迷大話王... 黎明

Proof is everything
because
Seeing is believing.

就是愛你 - 陶吉吉

我 一直都想對你說
你給我想不到的快樂
像綠洲給了沙漠

說 你會永遠陪著我
做我的根 我翅膀
讓我飛 也有回去的窩

我願意 我也可以
付出一切 也不會可惜
就在一起 看時間流逝
要記得我們相愛的方式

就是愛你愛著你 有悲有喜
有你 平淡也有了意義
就是愛你愛著你 甜蜜又安心
那種感覺就是你

All Blank.

Sorry for not writing here for the few days counting... everytime i wanted to start writing i just feel confused.... too much has happened in such short time and i could hardly accept them all...

Finally got my Aquamarine bracelet.... however... it is still waiting for its master...

It's so easy to run into people you know in CB.... just start thinking and there he/she goes, right in front of your eyes..... heard that my friends are not doing all too well lately.... just wish them luck and take care.

Gave tutorial on Sunday and created a whole lot of problems afterwards.... I'm willing to rectify the problem but i just dont know how...

Started to feel ill on Sunday night...

I believed my friends would agree that i am a person who rank friendship before romantic relationship... but this time, i might have to fail you... I'm going to do utmost, even to sacrifice, in order to maintain the relationship... it's a tough decision... but i have made up my mind.

Cold War.

學不會 - 吳克群

故事結束那天 天氣是怎樣的美
現在的我沒有感覺
你在我的世界 來去自由的飛
翅膀揮舞著我的傷悲
我還陷在裡面 你早已投入另外情節

在我心裡 藏著一種美
是我永遠都無法告別
你的笑容 好像還沒完全
故事卻急著走到完結
還來不及學會
有些事我永遠都學不會

學不會 望著你而沒有感覺
學不會 忽視你的美
學不會 翻故事最後一頁
學故事裡的狼狽 無聲頹廢 我學不會

在我心裡 藏著一種美
是我永遠都無法告別
撕去故事裡的最後一頁
假裝一切都還沒完結

還來不及學會
有些事我永遠都學不會
學不會

AGM

Once again, I have put myself in another AGM situation.

Both liked it and hated it... the good thing about AGM is that it really bond the whole 'chong' together... that'll be some of their own collaborative memories, so precious.... it also give me the kind of pressure to drive me to do better, for i know i cant fail their expectations.... it is exactly this commitment giving me my drive and appetite for success....

But on the other hand. I hated the AGM so much that at some point of my life i have even sworn that i will never get involve in any one of them again (probably when i had just chaired serveral GMs or being the Returning Officer non stop for days...) What i dislike is the atmosphere when people are not trying to discuss, but to blame. It's always the easy part to lay a finger on somebody's else work and said improvements can be made..... but frankly.... can you do a better job when you're in charge? Do you really "THINK" you can do better than the one you're laying blame on? Grow up people... you're just naive and blind.

I always take AGM as a theater... the sheung chong need to 'act' in order to teach the next chong and when the sheung chong need to give excuses to their sheung chong as well..... okay, if you say this is the tradition, then it's okay... but mostly people are just over exploiting this occassion as a stage for him/her to show how superior he/she is than you.... it's not really meant to be like that.

As previously mention... AGM is just an act... what you see, what you hear may not be the complete picture of the fact (i didnt say they're lies though)..... they are just the 'script'.... script that keep its auidence happy..... for seeing is believing.... however... there are far more behind a report.... I've lost the momentum even to debate with them my decision for i knew things that they dont.... i'd rather keep it to myself... saying sorry for things that you havent done wrong is hard, but it's a more convenient way than to argue with all the people there~

Started feeling growing up for one more time....

I have not, in my previous entries, express my gratitudes towards the ADOC chongmates.... though we have conflicts and even fights during the preparation period, I truly regard all of you as brothers and sisters of mine.

Thanks Horace, for your patience and easiness;
Thanks Hon Ki, for your leadership;
Thanks Chow Fai, for your dedication;
Thanks Creamy, for your drive to perfection;
Thanks Jacky, for your encouragments;
Thanks Jo, for your constant flow of ideas;
Thanks Kai, for your planning.

Most important of all, We Have Made It. Without anyone of you all these will not be Possible. Thank You.

Congratulations for offically stepping down for the post.

"能愛著你　不怕寂寞
為你失眠都不錯"
為你失眠 - 吳日言

Looking forward.

Went browsing the Hong Kong Dental Council webpage.... found my sister's entry in the registered dentist..... When will the same happen to me?

Missing my dear sister~

愛是傻得起

Suddenly.... missing the the previous me... the kind of single-minded, and the ability to do things according to what i think is right.... am i... really different after all these years?

Very impressed by the notes i made in year 1... i still find them useful up till this day... If i can do it then, i am sure i can do it now (more appropiately speaking... I MUST)

Once again.... back to a state when i no longer care about how the people sees me... that's their own business..... all i cared is me and the people i love.... that's it.

"In times of sadness and misery, from you eyes, I can always find faith and hope out of them."

愛是傻得起 - 黎明

大家不知結果　害怕甚麼

誰人若然被愛過　如何未曾受傷過
誰亦為執著結果　最後也賺到經過

來吧若然共我　險也冒過　不怕愛得傻
難道互相研究
過來日才能渡過恩愛十年　會避免差錯
就算青春消磨　曾經快樂過　別辨認因果

愛是傻得起　或者只因跟你也受過傷才一起　
也許一世壯麗也為你瞬間嫵媚　
還是你發覺肯憎我才一起　

就算你要我講你沒人可比　
或者早知跟你註定痛苦才一起　
再吃苦都會快樂過得不到你　
要有貪嗔愛恨才一起　忘掉道行我偏愛定你

承認舊時極好勝　還是舊時沒本領
懷念舊戀人笑聲　領會愛是個心境

談情在乎任性　想要盡慶不要太聰明
從未望到墓誌銘
誰又明白共你可會白頭　趁現世高興
為你一刻激情　無需靠悟性　任命運註定

愛是傻得起　或者只因跟你也受過傷才一起　
也許一世壯麗也為你瞬間嫵媚　
還是你發覺肯憎我才一起　

就算你要我講你沒人可比　
或者早知跟你註定痛苦才一起　
再吃苦都會快樂過得不到你　
要有貪嗔愛恨才一起　忘掉道行我偏愛定你

愛是傻得起　或者只因跟你也受過傷才一起　
也許一世壯麗也為你瞬間嫵媚　
還是你發覺肯憎我才一起　

就算你要我講你沒人可比　
或者早知跟你註定痛苦才一起　
再吃苦都會快樂過得不到你　
要有貪嗔愛恨才一起　忘掉道行我偏愛定你

Sedentary....

Becoming more and more lazy these days... this is no good.

I wanna meet my friends soon~

Kawaii patient~

She's in her best dress...

Brining alone my favourite item when she came to see me this morning...

She's a patient of mine.

When i hold her hand... I was so nevous...

When she kissed me on my cheek... i melt....

When she said goodbye... my heart broke....

Who is this lady??

Wa Ha Ha..... she's my lovely 5 years-old paedo patient... never imagine she'd bring a Stitch doll with her to the dental chair... that really cheer me up~ Must study harder in Paedo..... for they are really lovely~

It's time to get serious finally.... i can feel the heat and the tense atmosphere. "Trust in thyself." That's what i believed.

........... Where are you now?

離人節 - 蔡依林

在我們的故事　寫下結局前　
請你　聆聽最後尾奏的音樂
幸福漸遠　心跳漸弱　
回音在休止符後停留了　好久

當每一個當下　變成過去後　　
自由　也許是離人們的折磨　
在狂歡時寂寞　從絕望裡復活　　
才明白愛會隨時間　逐漸成熟

從那一天　原諒你的瞬間
我不過情人節　我和未來不再相戀　
愛斷了線　於是我每天都過想你的離人節　
不再見面不代表我　不再對你想念
你是曾經的永遠　會永遠在我身邊

Finally.... It's over.

The Faculty of Dentistry, Annual Dinner 2006 has ended.

Finally.... It's over....

No longer have to work nonstop through out the night or wake in the middle of a short nap just not to miss an important call....

Finally....

Though with flaws in the programme and conflicts among the OCs..... but in the end, we have really enjoyed the event (but not the food though.... coz we're all too busy working.... didnt really taste the food there) and put on a good show..... that's what matters.

Touched when finally taking polaroid with OCs..... feels like time freezes and the best part of the night is forever engraved in my memory.

The lovely crystal now sitting on my desk shall remind me of the work and tears behind all these~

For now the work is finally over.... i can really spent some time to think and do things that i think is worthy..... leave alone what the others think.

Spent the day clean my room.... If i cant take good care of myself... how can others expect i can take care of them?

奇洛李維斯回信 - 薛凱琪

我不難過... 可以嗎?

真的...受傷了...

"我搞不懂　我們到底怎麼了
誠實的背後　是否住著傷口
我想不透　我們的愛怎麼了
雨下過以後　是否能讓什麼復活"
我們怎麼了 - S.H.E.

Still working....

So tired...

Got no mood to write too much..... just feeling sick....

but luckily the majority of things have been finished.

The Game's ready (it's a real good one..... if i dont have to worry about leaking the game before the dinner i will not be able to restrain myself in posting them here.)

Rundown has been rehearsed....

Present are almost ready....

Sponsorship is okay now...

Design finalized.....

Finally feel some confidence....
It's gonna be okay (assuming that i dont suddenly die when i am typing this entry.)

I miss home and hall..... the beds are so cozy....

Feeling indifferent to carbonated drinks already.... are there any difference among them?

I guess i am the one needing first aid treatment instead of learning them in class....

At War.....

In chamber of war right now.....

Guess what? At this time of the night..... all eight members of the annual dinner OC are now working in an internet cafe in CB.... diligently working on all situations that may come up on Saturday.....

Never feel so intense pressure.....

Brain cells slowly draining....



We cant be defeated..... it's a war we cant lose.

Have faith and confidence.....

We'll rock the stage!!

Good Show.

Confidence.... this is what i needed most right now.

I can do it..... more appropiately.... We can do it.

Strive hard, Annual Dinner Organizing Committee. We will make a real good 'show' this saturday.

Please wish me luck.

W: No matter what you do... I have made my choice.

"I was Born to Love You - Queen"

Wander.

Never ever wanted to wander again.

Wandering mindlessly today, visit places filled with memories.... Shatin, Mong Kok, KCR platform, TST, Hung Hom, Central..... and of course...... the campus...

Grew so tired of wandering.

I am just scared... when you are not by my side.

If I was given the choice, I just wanted to let you know how much I wanted to stay with you for ever and ever.

To my Somebody, "To the world you maybe somebody, but to me, You are my World."

每次醒來...

Mood and condition was in record low this 2 days.

Totally exhausted...

You know how frustrating is it to doze off in a bus and found that you have ended up in aberdeen cause you just cant wake? This happen to me far too common this week already..... I am sure if there is one more sleepless night that would mark the end of my life.... my body just cant take it anymore.....

紀念... 紀念日...

笑忘書 - 張敬軒

要　背負個包袱　再　跳落大峽谷
煩惱　用個大網將你捕捉
還是你　拋不開拘束
你　昨夜發的夢　到這夜已告終
沉下去　頭上散落雨點沒有彩虹
你　還在抱著記憶　就似塊石頭很重

得到同樣快樂　彼此亦有沮喪　
童話書從成長中難免要學會失望　
經過同樣上落　彼此墮進灰網　
沉溺　煩擾　磨折　何苦　多講

我　快樂到孤獨　我　缺乏到滿足
遊戲　就算愉快不會幸福
人大了　開心都想哭
我　每日要生活　我　每日要鬥苦
捱下去　連上帝亦也許沒法攙扶我　
前路有右與左　面對抉擇難兼顧

得到同樣快樂　彼此亦有沮喪　
童話書從成長中難免要學會失望　
經過同樣上落　彼此墮進灰網　
沉溺　煩擾　磨折　何苦　多講

擁有同樣寄望　彼此亦有苦況
棉花糖從成長中曾送你愉快天堂
經過同樣跌盪　可會學會釋放
童話　情書　遺書　尋找　答案
曾經...曾經...回憶當天三歲的波板糖

Home/Sick

Got a pretty ordinary weekend.

Finally realize it's been too long since i was last at home sleeping on my bed..... such a strange feeling...

More and more feeling that life has changed.... no longer interested in things that i used to.....

Also feeling that my body can no longer keep up with all the work loads..... grew tired all the time lately.....

I guess it's soon time to sleep.....

In remorse.... it's soon going to be one year.

Dilemma: If Kurt Cobain is true. "It's better to burn out than to fade away."

At Work.

Loaded (or even overloaded) myself for work today..... feel.... so how..... quite good about it.

Really enjoying to put myself in a position that i cant back off... point of no return is reached.

Working hard, Playing hard... that's my philosophy.

A sincere thank you to you. You've enlightened me.

Looking forward to the work on tomorrow.

Immature.

What a child i am.

Failing, in even taking care of my own self.

Losing nights of sleep just because of one word you said.

Never know what and when to treasure.... all i did is crying over spilled milk.

Never know how fortunate i was when having your love on me.... until i actually lost it.

A lot of wrongs have been done... they can only be forgiven not forgotten.

This young boy now realize, how important you mean in his life.

He wanted to change and grow.

Are you, still willing to give him faith?

You must love me - Madonna

Where do we go from here?
This isn't where we intended to be
We had it all, you believed in me
I believed in you

Certainties disappear
What do we do for our dream to survive?
How do we keep all our passions alive,
As we used to do?

Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away
You must love me
You must love me

Why are you at my side?
How can I be any use to you now?
Give me a chance and I'll let you see how
Nothing has changed

Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away
You must love me
You must love me
You must love me

Work and Productivity.

Been busy all day.... however.... really not much have been done....

Especially annoying when i realize how much i have to read for tomorrow's class..... still a long way.

The Souvenir for Dental Annual Dinner is ready now..... one less thing on my mind right now (by the way, they are just gorgeous!)

To my somebody: Without you, I'm always a child.

"我不想　我不想　不想長大　
長大後　我就會　失去她"
不想長大 - S.H.E.

Please have faith.

Awoken.

Finally Awoken from my slumber.

It's such a good Ole morning today.

Maybe. I really should change my habit and enjoy the rising sun everyday.

一輩子

讀了這文章, 真像上了一課.

一輩子

是不是真的可以『一輩子』？

以前，我也會相信一對年輕的戀人間真的有永遠、真的有一輩子，然後開開心心地牽著那雙以為能牽一輩子的手，開始幻想我們的永遠，所以在接受這樣承諾的時候，總天真的想：『嗯...你說的喔！一輩子喔.....』

漸漸的，經歷過感情的幾次失意之後，開始懷疑是不是真的可以『一輩子、永遠..』！

記得聽過一個法學教授的叮嚀：別跟你的男友要『一輩子』的承諾，因為妳無法知道，他給的一輩子，期限有多長.....妳可以要他許諾『愛妳30年』、『愛妳60年』，甚至在妳還不願綁住他的時候，只跟他要個『愛我一個月』的承諾，這種有期限的承諾，看似現實而條件化，其實只是一種比較踏實的約定而已。

教授也舉了一個例子：

有對小戀人從大學便開始交往了，而這對金童玉女在眾人眼中早已是令人稱羨的一對，生活上相互照顧、並做為對方精神的支柱、對彼此的用心更是不曾掩飾。

有一次，女孩把教授說過的約定，轉述給男孩聽，男孩也知道他的法律系女友要的就是那份踏實感覺，於是他向女孩承諾，不輕易許給女孩一輩子的未來，他只答應『我會愛妳、並陪在妳身邊直到妳過27歲生日那天，可以的話，我會再向妳許下另一階段的承諾』。

於是男孩女孩心中留下這份共享的默契；在後來的交往中，男孩女孩雖然情愛不減，卻因為課業上的壓力、未來的目標不同、父母的期望、個性上、人際關係上的衝突，情人間的口角自然免不了。

女孩每次驕嗔發怒，男孩也只是順著她的心意安撫，雖然男孩在朋友眼中是出了名的火爆脾氣。漸漸的，男孩女孩發現口角爭執次數越來越頻繁，女孩更數度提出分手的念頭，男孩也曾被激怒地打算接受分手，卻硬壓下這樣的氣話。

時光流轉，男孩女孩早已順利步上紅毯那端，育有一子一女，共組幸福家庭；只是當女孩問起：老公，我知道我當年的脾氣很嬌，你又是出了名的火爆小子，你怎麼願意忍受我的壞脾氣啊？還跟我真的走了一輩子？男人笑了笑，只是抱著他親愛的老婆：多虧了妳當初轉述教授的話，讓我許給妳那個27歲生日的承諾，才支持我的火爆脾氣忍著不發作，也幫我們撐過了最容易互相傷害的日子。要不是那個承諾，妳當初提分手的時候，我可能就真的跟你分了，哪有現在的幸福日子啊？！

聽完這個故事，心裡好像多了點想法，永遠有多遠？一輩子是不是真的能一輩子？我想，給個期限或許踏實點吧！

女人最偉大的行為，莫過於為一個男人蹉跎歲月...
男人最放心不下的，是有一個女人一直在等他...

戀愛其實比你想像的累。

很多時候，二個人生活比一個人過日子還要辛苦。

一個人的時候，想去哪裡就去哪裡，想和誰出去就和誰出去，不必為了男朋友今天被老闆罵了心情不好需要人陪而犧牲和好友的聚會，也不需要因為女朋友感冒發高燒需要照顧而犧牲早上重要會議。

一個月不出門，沒有人會對你抱怨日子很無聊，每天吃泡麵，也不會有人嫌你對他不好，一晚上不說話，沒人會在耳邊說你不關心他，一個星期不洗床單也不會有人嫌你髒。

二個人在一起，他不高興的時候，你有責任要傾聽、照顧、替他找樂子，即使你自己心情也不好，也要打起精神幫對方加油打氣。

一個人的時候高興天天加班到天亮也沒人管你，但是二個人的時候，你若是天天睡在公司，對方會抱怨你為什麼不肯花時間陪他，然後就是爭吵甚至分手。

有些男人以為戀愛很容易，只要花點時間問問︰「吃飽了沒？」之類言不及義的屁話，偶爾一起吃吃飯、看看電影，只要有炮可以打就等於戀愛還在繼續。

但是，你如果真的這樣做，你會發現女人其實很寂寞，到頭來你才知道你根本不懂她在想什麼，等你知道戀愛要「用心」才能繼續的時候，女人早就已經決定離開你了。

要把戀愛談好其實不難，花的心力愈多，愈有機會維持良好的關係。當你羨慕某些感情不錯的情侶時，不妨想想他們背後付出的代價。

很羨慕有些情侶做什麼事情總是在一起，一起下班，一起看電視，一起吃飯，一起下廚，一起散步，一起洗澡，然後一起睡覺。

你沒看到的是他們犧牲了工作的時間；犧牲了和朋友出去喝酒作樂的時間；犧牲了和老闆私下應酬拍馬屁的時間，他們選擇犧牲一個人的快樂去成就兩個人的快樂。

也許男人犧牲了一場自己想看的球賽陪女人看「麥迪遜之橋」，或許女人犧牲了老闆指派加班的任務只為了回家下廚作二人的燭光晚餐。或許他們一個曾經習慣於晝伏夜出，卻為了另一個人徹底改變了作息，他們覺得這樣犧牲很快樂也很值得，但若換是你，你做得到多少？

你覺得有些情侶很棒，因為他們懂得給對方空間。他們可以把對彼此的關係在第一順位，他們不會要求對方一定要二十四小時陪著彼此，一旦一方覺得度孤獨、寂寞，需要有人陪伴的時候，另一方一定會犧牲其他的時間陪他。

你沒有看到的是，他們其實花了很多時間學習獨處；花了很多心思戰勝忌妒；花了很多精力修正自己的錯誤。他們學會怎樣為自己的情緒負責而不依賴另一人的幫助，怎樣在眾多情人間做正確的時間安排方式而不引起更多的衝突...

你覺得那些心靈契合的情侶最值得羨慕，一件事情到了他們的口中，不管他們的看法有多少差異，你總是能看出他們互相支持的誠意。他們總是會產生類似的感動，一人哭泣，另一人也跟著流淚，一人欣喜，另一個人也跟著微笑。

你沒看到的是，他們歷經了無數的爭辯，因此他們常常發現自己完全不了解對方的想法，所以他們花了比別人更多的時間探索、挖掘、辯論、溝通，他們放棄了許多自以為是的想法；在爭辯中學會讓步；學會不堅持；學會接受、欣賞、肯定另一個人觀點；學會平等的溝通與相互尊重。

而當你與異性溝通的時候，你是不是懂得這些道理？

當我們看到男女之間的差異與距離，我們總會想著用比較輕鬆的方式解決。不喜歡坐車的人寧願換個和他一樣喜歡坐船伴侶，也不會為了對方學著接受把車子當作交通工具。愛吃肉的人寧願怪對方為什麼不肯吃肉，也不會為了維持關係而學著吃素。

很多問題我們寧願要對方適應，寧願將責任推給別人而不是自己，只因為這樣比較容易。而那些感情可以維持得讓人羨慕的人，他們並不見得比你聰明，那或許只是因為他們懂得在要求對方適應之外，自己也學著犧牲與讓步。

很多甜蜜的關係，背後都付出了痛苦的代價來維持，在你羨慕別人的時候，不妨問問自己：你付出這些代價的意願有多少？如果你不想付出這樣的代價，如果你覺得維持關係應該是不花心力的，那就別奢望你也能擁有這樣的關係。

「良好的感情關係不會從天掉下來，要花力氣、要用心經營，要肯付出...還要許下承諾。」

Suddenly.... a song ring out in my mind.

" 誰人又相信一世一生這膚淺對白
來吧送給你叫幾百萬人流淚過的歌"
K歌之王 - 陳奕迅

I am living.... but i dont have a life.

My song of the day:

我的愛 - 孫燕姿

繞著山路　走得累了
去留片刻　要如何取捨
去年撿的　美麗貝殼
心不透徹　不會懂多難得

以為　只要簡單地生活　
就能平息了脈搏　
卻忘了在逃什麼　

我的愛　明明還在　
轉身了才明白　
該把幸福　找回來　
而不是各自緬懷　

我會在　沿海地帶　
等著潮汐更改　送你回來　
你走路姿態　微笑的神態　
潛意識曾錯過的真愛

以為　只要簡單地生活　
就能平息了脈搏　
卻忘了在逃什麼　

我的愛　明明還在　
轉身了才明白　
該把幸福　找回來　
而不是各自緬懷　

我會在　沿海地帶　
等著潮汐更改　送你回來　
你走路姿態　微笑的神態　
潛意識曾錯過的真愛

莫非這是上天善意的安排
好讓心更堅定彼此更接近　真愛

我的愛　明明還在
轉身了才明白
該把幸福　找回來
而不是各自緬懷

我會在　沿海地帶
等著潮汐更改　學著忍耐
不再怕傷害　不再怕期待
潛意識那才是我真愛
你走路姿態　微笑的神態
潛意識那才是我真愛

Mind... Soothed.

Losing control.

But, for the first time since long ago. I can actually sleep.

Sorry for everything...

I shall remember these songs... Nobody can change history, we can only look for future.

忽爾今夏 - 黃耀明
Better Man - Robbie Williams
螢光粉紅 - 鄭秀文
最好的愛煞人武器 - 達明一派
楊千嬅(再生版) - 楊千嬅
四季 -梁靜茹
New York Mining Disaster 1941 - Bee Gees
咬唇 - 楊千嬅
你有自己一套 - At17
Violin Concerto No.2, D Major, K.211 III. Rondeau: Allegro - Mozart
醃眼 - 陳苑淇
一切很美 只因有你 - 陳慧琳
我有我愛你 - 陳奕迅
八里公路 - 梁漢文

I was in such terrible state.

Familiarity.

I shall remeber this day for the rest of my life.

When seeing my tutor today.... first time finding that i was unable to speak.... for i know i have got no reason to argue.... totally screwed but deep in my heart i feel a sense of tranquility... I have cleared my mind and have goals for my life again... I know what i am doing.

Dear Friends, Sorry for making you so worried..... i am okay. Seriously.

Suddenly have a feel of familiarity. but yet feeling it to be so distant... why my heart is telling me such thing?

Picked up my old habit of searching and finding again.... only this time.... i only stop when my focus land on you.

You're my 最熟悉的陌生人.

Sleepless night.

Once again.... I'm here alone with the computer at the middle of the night (actually the very last part of the night indeed)

Another day spent in exhaustion and depletion.... with my soul kept imprisoned.

Have got a pretty inspirational conversation tonight.... listening to the problems of others seems like a mirror for me.... for i have made the same mistake over and over again in the past.... I do hope people can give me remedy for it as well.

Finally picked up a text book that i have long forgotten since the very first few days in my first year.... it's about time to pay for my debts.

At least one hour of reading per day.... that doesnt sound too ridiculous, right?

An unrivaled sense of frustration get inside of me when reading something that i cant comprehend.... how much i wish to read your mind...

"Your every smile and cry, is controlling my low and high."

Frustration.

Still being miserable for the day... Just dont know how to express it. So i have chosen a route of escapology.... filling my time table full.... draining all my energy.... this might work for today.... but how about tomorrow and onwards? For how long can i stand like this?

Suddenly went out of all ideas on what i could do..... suddenly my mind seems to go all wrong.... It's been 352 days already.

Have been searching for a song below for some time already.... have gone through HMV and other CD shops in HK today and still cant find it... If anyone can get this CD for me I'm sure i'll pay him/her handsomely for it (or maybe a large hug ^^). It's Undone by Patrick Nuo, appeared as bonus track in albume "Welcome" (Special Edition) (released in 2004)..... gave up totally.... can only share the link from youtube.....

For you, and hope you can feel it.

Patrick Nuo - Undone

Another day, another night
Another word, another fight
That I'm sorry for
Another try, another way
Another line, now you say
You can't stand it no more

It's easy to hurt and hard to heal
I wish you would try to make me feel
That you still care, you still care

How can I make it undone?
What can I do?
How can I stop this feeling
Inside of you?

If I could make it undone?
Would you be there?
You're still the spell I'm under
Do you still care?

Another chance to be wrong
Another promise to hold on
Regrets and sorrows

Maybe love, maybe lust
Do you believe, do you trust
In me and tomorrow

It's easy to hurt and hard to heal
I wish you would try to make me feel
That you still care, you still care

How can I make it undone?
What can I do?
How can I stop this feeling
Inside of you?

If I could make it undone?
Would you be there?
You're still the spell I'm under
Do you still care?

Do you still care about us
What can I do
To bring our good times back to you
I wish that I could make it just undone

How can I make it undone?
What can I do?
How can I stop this feeling
Inside of you?
If I could make it undone?
Would you be there?
You're still the spell I'm under
Do you still care?

I wish you would try to make me feel
That you still care

Undone.

Once again..... cant sleep well last night.

Felt determined to do things right this time.

Had got a rather miserable clinic time today. As student, it's not the skill that define you a good dentist..... but the mood of your tutor...... sometimes maybe a pretty patient will help (too bad i didnt bought her in for the morning session).... for the first time i can feel the 'care' from my tutor.... they're always the first to arrive (even when i dont need them though....)...... o.... what more can i say?

Still on my quest to put things undone.

迷失...

Lost.... totally.

"遊戲都一早玩完
贏便慶祝 輸了氣便斷"
一千零一個 - 楊千嬅

Things to Share:

Five Days - Patrick Nuo

Funny Joke about sensitivity of teeth ^^

New Coke Commercial


大男孩 - 葉念琛

日 本 女 漫 畫 家 柴 門 文 舊 作 《 欺 騙 我 的 男 人 》 ， 最 近 終 於 推 出 了 單 行 本 。 漫 畫 的 故 事 非 常 出 人 意 表 ， 男 主 角 海 原 是 一 位 風 流 倜 儻 的 兒 童 外 科 主 任 ， 女 伴 無 數 。 但 一 天 ， 他 對 文 靜 溫 婉 的 久 美 子 一 見 鍾 情 。

一 雙 登 對 的 璧 人 以 為 會 有 一 個 天 長 地 久 的 結 局 ， 但 劇 情 偏 在 此 時 急 轉 直 下 ， 久 美 子 偶 然 間 發 現 了 海 原 一 個 隱 藏 的 秘 密 ： 童 年 時 的 海 原 為 了 阻 止 父 親 虐 打 母 親 ， 用 球 棒 把 他 毆 打 成 植 物 人 。 從 此 海 原 竟 將 自 己 的 心 靈 永 遠 鎖 在 悲 劇 發 生 前 三 天 ， 亦 即 是 他 十 二 歲 生 日 那 天 ， 換 句 話 說 ， 海 原 的 真 實 年 紀 雖 然 已 經 二 十 九 歲 ， 但 心 智 卻 停 留 在 十 二 歲 。 但 因 為 他 小 時 候 已 被 發 現 是 資 優 兒 童 ， 天 才 一 般 的 頭 腦 讓 他 能 從 容 應 付 醫 學 院 的 訓 練 ， 所 以 ， 他 長 大 後 依 然 能 成 為 一 位 出 色 的 醫 生 。

海 原 充 滿 小 男 孩 一 切 性 格 上 的 缺 點 ， 他 對 善 惡 觀 念 模 糊 ， 愛 撒 嬌 也 要 別 人 遷 就 ， 且 妒 忌 心 和 佔 有 慾 旺 盛 得 過 份 。

海 原 到 底 是 否 一 個 值 得 相 愛 的 對 象 ？ 這 是 從 漫 畫 人 深 思 的 問 題 。 漫 畫 的 結 局 讓 人 傷 感 ， 暫 且 在 此 賣 個 關 子 。 但 久 美 子 最 後 還 是 選 擇 了 海 原 。 或 許 女 人 天 生 對 最 愛 的 男 人 ， 總 是 存 在 一 份 母 親 對 兒 子 不 離 不 棄 的 容 忍 和 呵 護 。 小 孩 子 在 未 懂 得 人 間 情 愛 的 時 候 ， 純 真 幸 福 的 愛 意 都 只 傾 注 在 母 親 身 上 ， 女 人 都 盼 望 伴 侶 永 遠 像 個 天 真 無 邪 的 小 孩 子 ， 讓 自 己 永 遠 同 時 分 飾 母 親 和 愛 人 兩 個 角 色 ， 用 無 窮 的 愛 擁 抱 深 愛 的 那 個 他 ， 要 他 心 無 旁 騖 也 寸 步 難 行 。

Feel the pain.

Perfect evening with my annual dinner OC, thanks so much for the treat by horace at his house (btw, we shall go more often to your place then ^^)

Still slacking with my work....

Starting learning to feel the pain that others are enduring.... perhaps this can make me a better person.

Still on my journey to "Narnia"..... brilliant.

Thanks 馮穎琪... I love your lyrics.

原來這裡沒有你 - 陳奕迅

"舊日尚未盡力共挽手到未來
今天終於分開未說出應不應該
怎麼夢境都不再
才發現你在每夜原來未能替代"

Regrets.

To my most trusted brother: I'm sorry, i have failed your expectation.

Thanks Kennon, i get what you mean..... just wish you all the best in your career. We shall meet soon?

Dunno why.... but my mind was again unsettled....

To my somebody: "Encryption, Decryption; I am in your captivation."

.. ..-. - .... . .-. . .. ... --- -. . .-.. .- ... - - .... .. -. --. .-.. . ..-. - --- -. . .- .-. - .... - --- - . .-.. .-.. -.-- --- ..- .. .--- ..- ... - .-- .- -. - - --- ... .- -.-- .. -- .. ... ... -.-- --- ..- .- -. -.. .. -. . . -.. -.-- --- ..- .. .-- .- -. - - --- .... .- ...- . -.-- --- ..- -... -.-- -- -.-- ... .. -.. . --- -. -.-. . .- --. .- .. -.

愛回來.

Sloth.

Once again.... fallen to this primal enemy of mankind.

Gotta make up to it.

Enjoyable stress

I must be mad in some ways.

How would you feel when you are taking your exam with you patient running late for one whole hour? And it's a especially difficult case.

Nervous? Yes.
Stressed? Yes.

But in the mean time i have got a trace of natural high in me.... I was under so much pressure for i know any minor mistake would spell disaster for me.... heart pounding so hard that i can actually hear every beat of it..... feel the warm current inside of me flowing.... mind extremely focused..... I have, actually, done the best ever class 2 restoration on this patient.... simply without any procedural flaws..... Perfect.

Always dreaming one day i can really become an A&E in-house or paramedic or war surgeon or something.... where i can see critical patients, make spilt-second decision and safe some lifes.... Someday....

Song of the day: 十惡不赦 - 劉浩龍

Efficiency?

Finally, it seems that my life has regained some order.

Dont want to write too much on my shcool life.... they are extraordinary however i'm getting more and more used to it (that's good sign... )

Finally have got some return in my tutorial job, at least, improvements have been seen.

Got excited when the Dental Annual Dinner is drawing closer, cause there are more and more hands on work instead of just blathering in meetings..... everything seems going fine and i look forward to it.

Progress of study.... still slow..... that's the norm.....

Got a chance to meet with Sally on Tuesday.... though it's a really causal chat.... i appreciated that greatly.... let's find some time for meals~

I am on a shopping spree lately.... apart from the Puma and Nike that i mentioned in my previous post.... i still want to get a bracelet of aquamarine gemstone......

Tomorrow i am going to have my key skills exam.... still got something to read on.... shall write later~

PS. Should i have the chance.... i want to go for a short trip as well... 相依為命....

Holiday, shopping and fantasy.

Once again.... I dont have reading week....

Thanks to the smart faculty.... i got even more classes in reading week than ever..... sigh....

Got a new Levi's 523 today... it's not so particular.... but its brand name do give some feel-great factor though....

Next on my shopping list: Puma Jacket (light purple in colour.... really great) and a Nike Free V5.0...... They're so expensive.... gosh....

Started reading on the Chronicles of Narnia.... sometimes.... devote myself in a fantasy world is not too bad..... it does keep all the trouble away.

Tomorrow is about to fight the little young patient again..... wish everything is going to be fine.

PS. Bon Voyage. Take care.
PS2. 張敬軒 - 笑忘書 - Track 8

Sleepless....

I want to stay my cool..... but i just cant.

My mind got occupied totally.


What is she doing now?

Swimming.

Work productivity regained despite the disaster in delivering temp crown for my patient in the morning.

Really not in shape in today's clinic.

Thanks Horace, i have heard some of the most incredible singing ever..... Vitas, what an interesting russian singer..... shall get his albume when i have the chance.

Have done something i havent done for ages today.... I actually went swimming with parent in the clubhouse..... um.... still retain some memory on front crawl and brest stroke.... my skills are not too good that i'd need to learn further in order to be a better swimmer..... also saw people doing butterfly and back stroke today..... that's pretty impressive..... dunno when i could master them all.....

Got a relaxed evening at hall..... had a work out and some chat with floormates and that's about it......

Song of the day: 每天每天 - 方大同

失憶 - 梁靜茹

"感覺不到 從前溫柔的雙眼
感覺得到 你已不再眷戀
無奈的笑時突然我知道
得了失憶可能對你我都好

感覺不到 說是為了我改變
感覺得到 沈默劃過我左臉
我不知道 也許我會得到
一句還是朋友
這是藉口還是盡頭"

Boundary between life and death.

So tired right now....

I am rightous enough to be a witness of a theft case which happened in hall last night (around 2 something)...... Thanks to the HK Police..... they have the imagination to almost turn me into a suspect by literally "interrogating" me.... It took me a few hours before i can shake off the suspicion on me and finally get some sleep.... but by that time it's already some 6 or 7 in the morning when the sun has risen.......

Miraculously I did wake for the morning lesson, Consultation clinic in OMFS department...... basically we have nothing to do but to watch the professor examining the patients..... it's a very good chance to let us know how little we know about dentistry.... really ashamed..... And even more ashamed is that we see the reality of outside practice (when one of the patient under outside GP care turn up today with a nerve damage from extraction of wisdom tooth)..... arrogant and negligent.... ego is the size of a golf course but there ability is the size of a golf ball.... they just think they can hide every fact from others...... really fumed about such UNETHICAL practice.

Rushed back to campus for the Hall photo taking.... it's great to see we are all united as one under the same roof or RC Lee Hall.... It's really worth skipping my lunch for this photo.....

Afternoon with classes again..... havent done my reading as i should have.... but i'm lucky enough to be forgiven by my tutor... learned a lot during the discussion process...... and my tutor is kind enough to paid the bills for the afternoon tea.... feel so warm.....

Listened to a lecture on implant in the afternoon (despite for the fact that i am greatly deprived from sleep....) Fight so hard to resist falling asleep (though sometimes I cant.)..... The topic maybe a little bit too far from my level right now but nonetheless it's quite a useful one....

And now i am finally back to my lair in hall.... i shall form a cocoon soon and nest myself in it.... my will can only take me so far.... i'd better be hibernating to recharge for tomorrow...... Shall write again then.

Skills acquired.

Have got full day dental clinic today..... totally exhausted afterwards.

However, it's been a joyful day.... finally realizing the distance between me and a general dental practictioner has diminished.... feel quite confident in the speed of my restorative work (I believe i can now practice quadrant dentistry for most of the simple cases), though i still need to work on the aesthetic of some of my restorations (ha ha....)

Was so tired in the afternoon that I accidental fall on my bed (with my bag still clinging around my neck and my sneakers on) and napped..... totally crazily lacking energy at that moment.....

Tomorrow is the day for Hall photo taking..... and that shall be the some of my last photos taken in RC.... just hope that tomorrow's lesson will not over-run so that i dont have to rush back to campus for the photo afterwards.....

Looking back... there are still a lot to be achieved in hall.... too many dreams and wishes; too little time.... but RC will deserve a special place in my heart....

Nightmare

Worst scenario (or the most hilarious one):

In a paedodontics department, a loud wail can be heard....

"I dont want to get in the surgery room..." (Usually the most difficult case will be treated in the surgery room, where it has better equipment and sound-proof system, that the young kids' screaming will not affect other children receiving treatment.)

That seems rather normal to hear that, right?

But consider that scream is not coming from the child..... but instead from the dentist.....

And yes.... that 'dentist' is me.....

Why me... why again?? Paedo-clinic on Monday morning is really the spoiler of the week.... got so exhausted in dealing with the energetic, never-ending young lad who keep shouting and yelling.....

Please save me.....

I still got at least 2 weeks to face this young beast...... Gosh.....

Nevermind.... I think I will get use to it soon.

Thanks to Yvone who gave me a lovely figure of Stitch.

Got a rather normal school day.... still lagging behind and is working to catch up.

Dinner with Horace and Fai.... our usual combination.... sometimes, you must admit that destiny has some role in life......

Song of the day: 誰 - 吳克群

Warm dinner.

Dinner with parent today.... It's a really short dinner but it's so warm.

Time to work hard.... got too much to read lately.

To my friends: No matter what you said... I have chosen my path... just wish my luck.

A lovely song:

可樂戒指 - 梁靜茹

星星在天上寫詩 浪漫到放肆
嘴角的吻還微濕 我害羞掩飾
我調整了我坐姿 假裝更矜持
你的緊張 你的攻勢 就像個孩子

你把 我喝完的可樂 拉環當作戒指
輕輕套上了 我 小指 你問 能不能一輩子
那一秒突然 愛上了你 傻傻的固執

我不要你解釋 我不要你發誓
我只要 你記得此刻 你眼裡 我的樣子

愛我不要解釋 愛我不要發誓
這一刻到 世界末日 讓我們 一起把愛
活成最美最美的鑽石

你把平凡的日子 變成紀念日
永恆變成未來式 男孩變王子
我不要有大房子 也不要大寶石
我會珍惜 可樂戒指 永恆的小事

你用 吃完的糖果紙 那是你的方式
默默的寫下 你 發誓 你說 保護我一輩子
那一秒突然 看到了你 背後的雙翅

我不要你解釋 我不要你發誓
我只要 你記得此刻 你眼裡 我的樣子

愛我不要解釋 愛我不要發誓
從此刻到 世界末日 讓我們 一起把愛
活成最美最美的鑽石

我不要你解釋 我不要你發誓
我只要 你記得此刻 你眼裡 我的樣子

愛我不要解釋 愛我不要發誓
從此刻到 世界末日 讓我們 一起把愛
活成最美最美的鑽石
你在等答案 我會對你說 Yes

Ordinary day.

Thanks to my 2 acquaintances.... you have made my day extraordinary.

Seldom have the chance to get to see you, but everytime, time is great with you.

Dare to dream, dare to try.

Wish you all the best in future.

Surgeon Lam?

Yea, that looked real cool.

Suddenly.... wanted to wear this uniform for my career, can I?

Black Friday....

Black Friday..... unlucky friday.

Do not expect 2 classes can ever be the same.

Last week IV Sedation was excellent.

And Today..... it sucks.

All because of the tutor.

There is no point showing off what you know and what i dont. If i knew all that then i'll be the anesthesiologist doing all the procedure.

Better to turn my focus back on the dental stuff i need to know.

可否?

分手後一分鐘　便有後悔聲音
能傷我最深的人　偏得我心

應該漠不關心　然而還著緊　
當攬緊他人　想起跟你熱吻　

愛過太深　原來身體會疑問　
再沒法可適應別人　
願醉掉了　能容許你憐憫

早知不應試愛　未放開　便節哀　
有情人　日日夜夜同分開感慨　
避開　願你改　一個　小小意外　
未悔恨我未會知　不散不愛　

心　話放開　未放開　雨驟來　
才能提示真愛是確實存在　
愛滿分　竟是換來　痛亦滿分　
可否錯一次以後　一直愛　

分手後天天都是最重要犧牲
皮膚有你的指紋　刻得太深

應該漠不關心　然而還著緊　
當攬緊他人　想起跟你熱吻　

愛過太深　原來身體會疑問　
再沒法可適應別人　
願醉掉了　能容許你憐憫

早知不應試愛　未放開　便節哀　
有情人　日日夜夜同分開感慨　
避開　願你改　一個　小小意外　
未悔恨我未會知　不散不愛　

心　話放開　未放開　雨驟來　
才能提示真愛是確實存在　
愛滿分　竟是換來　痛亦滿分　
可否錯一次以後

早知不應試愛　未放開　便節哀　
有情人　日日夜夜同分開感慨　
避開　願你改　一個　小小意外　
未悔恨我未會知　不散不愛　

心　話放開　未放開　雨驟來　
才能提示真愛是確實存在　
愛滿分　竟是換來　痛亦滿分　
可否錯一次以後
一直愛

十分愛 - 鄧麗欣 方力申

Quality time.

So annoying..... woke with such a poor headache....

Struggled for so long before finally heading to school.... only to find out that my class has been cancelled (reason being that my tutor is on emergency call.... what the heck?) Totally miserable day.....

Decided to translate our group's anger in 'destroying' McDonald's Breakfast... we ate so much today.....

Got back to home and have a long sleep......

Evening spent with my ex-floormates.... time is great.

Finally feel a little confident in dealing with amalgam restoration (after numerous failed attempts)..... Should have no problem in the upcoming key skills exam...... (I hope).

Song of the day: 人若然忘記了愛 - 鄭中基

脆弱 - 葉念琛

男 孩 子 暗 戀 了 女 孩 子 差 不 多 三 個 月 了 。 他 心 忖 也 是 時 候 向 她 表 白 心 跡 。

在 女 孩 子 家 門 前 ， 男 孩 子 鼓 起 勇 氣 向 她 說 道 ： 「 我 想 我 是 愛 上 了 你 ！ 」 女 孩 子 聽 到 男 孩 子 的 示 愛 宣 言 ， 先 是 驚 愕 莫 名 ， 但 在 情 場 上 身 經 百 戰 的 她 ， 最 懂 得 在 這 種 形 勢 下 裝 扮 懵 。 女 孩 子 若 無 其 事 地 扮 作 低 頭 從 手 袋 掏 出 鑰 匙 ， 然 後 嘴 角 含 笑 地 跟 男 孩 子 揮 手 道 別 ： 「 不 用 送 了 ， 過 幾 天 再 找 你 ！ 」

男 孩 子 還 想 叫 住 她 ， 女 孩 子 已 經 一 溜 煙 地 進 了 大 廈 。

回 家 後 ， 女 孩 子 暗 吁 一 口 氣 ， 她 對 男 孩 子 是 有 點 好 感 ， 卻 只 僅 於 純 粹 的 友 誼 ， 萬 萬 不 涉 及 男 女 之 情 。 女 孩 子 心 決 定 。 為 免 再 讓 男 孩 子 自 作 多 情 ， 以 後 還 是 少 跟 他 上 街 為 妙 。

男 孩 子 或 許 永 遠 也 不 會 知 道 ， 因 為 他 一 句 衝 口 而 出 的 表 白 ， 已 將 一 段 可 能 有 機 會 發 展 的 戀 情 白 白 斷 送 了 。

有 些 說 話 ， 可 以 不 說 ， 還 是 藏 在 心 最 好 。 愛 一 個 人 ， 有 些 人 總 是 喜 歡 大 聲 疾 呼 ， 公 告 天 下 。 問 題 是 你 所 愛 的 人 未 必 跟 你 同 樣 想 法 ， 你 愛 她 嗎 ？ 她 不 一 定 也 愛 你 ！ 在 未 有 足 夠 把 握 下 便 急 不 及 待 地 抒 發 愛 意 ， 結 果 只 會 打 草 驚 蛇 ， 壞 了 大 事 ！

而 且 ， 相 愛 的 感 覺 從 來 是 神 秘 而 微 妙 ， 靈 犀 一 點 ， 心 意 互 通 。 愛 一 個 人 ， 不 需 要 事 先 張 揚 ， 也 不 用 申 請 批 准 ， 情 投 意 合 ， 自 然 會 走 在 一 起 ， 因 為 彼 此 之 間 有 一 道 不 可 抗 拒 的 力 量 在 推 動 和 撮 合 ， 那 叫 緣 份 。

我 們 可 以 向 深 愛 的 人 高 聲 說 一 聲 ： 「 我 愛 你 ！ 」 但 要 說 得 理 直 氣 壯 ， 不 要 將 這 句 說 話 化 成 問 題 ， 化 為 試 探 。 正 如 也 不 要 說 ： 「 我 想 我 倆 之 間 是 有 了 第 三 者 。 」 和 「 我 想 你 已 經 不 愛 我 了 。 」 在 說 話 之 前 ， 記 撫 心 自 問 ， 脆 弱 的 你 ， 真 的 承 受 得 了 殘 酷 的 答 案 嗎 ？ 不 然 的 話 ， 把 話 留 在 肚 子 中 ， 繼 續 逃 避 現 實 ， 仍 然 是 最 美 麗 和 快 樂 的 。

Puzzled.

Fatalism? Or not?

Shall i let my fate guide my way?

不想獨自快樂 - 蘇永康

New cell phone.

Finally got my new phone. N73.... that's a really lovely baby.

Gotta work harder to compensate for my self-indulgence.

Mystery... unfolded.

"付出的愛收不回　還欠妳的我不能給
我才明白愛最真實的滋味"

Kiss Goodbye - 王力宏

Time for change.

God took 7 days to create this world.

How long does it take to totally transform one person?

如果你聽見我的歌

Thanks for the chat tonight.

One day, you will see.

Making up for the past.

Then you'll believe.

Just between the two of us - 陳奕迅

Eden.

No better place than home.

Especially the cozy sofa.

Happy Mid-autumn Festival.

Indifferent.

At the end of the day,

Everything must go.

Learning to be indifferent.

"前額被吻了暖了慢慢便退燒
冷了過了慣了這種心跳
才明白開心不算少"

一了百了 - 謝霆鋒

Indulgence... again...

Dunno why.... just feeling tired lately.

First time ever to skip the whole day of class... though i feel good afterwards...

It take so much determination to be a professional.

Struggling...

The lyrics below speak my heart.

"It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive "

It's my life - Bon Jovi

Temptations.

Back off, Satan.

Stop the temptating and luring me into Sins.

A truely righteous people do things without differentiating whether they are right or not. They just do the right thing intuitively.

I do not have such intuition.... i tend to use my reasoning... only when my flesh are strong enough support my will...

Common saying, "The flesh is strong, but the will is weak".... something really worth noting.

Went for movies last night with Kennon and Jackie.... "大丈夫2".... quite a atypical locally-produced movie... it's not filmed particular good... however, some dialouges in the movies are quite catching and memorable...

"Male and Female are in the state of war ever since Adam and Eve walked on this world."

Looking forward to watching "Click"..... the last Hollywood movie i watched was some 3 or 4 months ago.... gotta squeeze some time and enjoy myself.

Changes.

Went back to Kowloon City today.

It has changed a lot since the day i left La Salle.

But still, so many memories there.

Maybe, it's not the only thing that had changed.

Me too, has changed considerably.

As always said, change itself is not bad, it all depends on how you cope with the change.

On this aspect, I am a slow learner.

Just want to make sure I will grab every chance and value it.

For I dont want to 重複犯錯.

Missing You

掛念你 - 葉念琛

愛 上 一 個 人 ， 其 中 一 個 很 重 要 的 條 件 ， 是 隨 時 隨 地 也 掛 念 她 。

一 對 深 深 相 愛 的 情 侶 ， 見 少 一 面 ， 見 少 一 秒 也 會 輾 轉 反 側 。 逛 完 一 天 街 ， 把 她 送 到 家 門 前 ， 依 依 不 捨 ， 難 捨 難 離 之 後 ， 回 家 不 久 電 話 已 經 響 起 ： 「 我 想 見 你 ！ 」 電 話 筒 那 邊 傳 來 癡 纏 和 惦 念 的 聲 音 。 於 是 ， 你 匆 匆 又 跑 到 街 上 ， 氣 急 敗 壞 來 到 她 樓 下 。 一 串 銀 鈴 般 的 開 懷 笑 聲 伴 她 興 奮 的 腳 步 愈 來 愈 近 ， 換 了 衣 服 ， 打 扮 標 緻 的 可 人 兒 嫣 然 一 笑 地 站 在 面 前 ， 你 們 在 一 個 約 會 結 束 了 不 夠 一 小 時 後 ， 又 喜 悅 萬 分 地 展 開 了 另 一 次 的 約 會 。

愛 情 的 感 覺 在 身 體 蠢 蠢 欲 動 ， 不 知 恁 的 會 製 造 出 大 量 的 掛 念 出 來 。 想 念 她 佔 據 了 你 所 有 的 時 間 和 生 活 。 你 總 是 控 制 不 了 自 己 ， 無 聊 地 撥 一 通 電 話 給 她 ， 只 為 說 一 句 ： 「 掛 念 你 ！ 」 又 或 是 心 血 來 潮 地 發 一 通 SMS ， 也 是 那 三 個 字 ： 「 掛 念 你 ！ 」 當 然 ， 你 心 底 盼 望 ， 她 跟 你 其 實 一 直 心 靈 互 通 。 當 你 鼓 起 勇 氣 對 她 說 ： 「 掛 念 你 」 的 時 候 ， 她 會 心 有 靈 犀 地 回 答 ： 「 我 也 是 。 」 或 者 更 你 雀 躍 的 答 案 ： 「 你 在 哪 ？ 我 來 見 你 ！ 」

然 而 ， 當 愛 情 一 天 突 然 之 間 ， 無 聲 無 息 地 消 失 蹤 影 。 掛 念 的 感 覺 首 先 會 煙 消 雲 散 。 你 一 廂 情 願 地 繼 續 跟 她 說 一 千 句 「 掛 念 你 」 也 好 ， 她 卻 是 只 會 無 動 於 衷 。 當 然 ， 最 傷 心 和 無 奈 的 又 是 當 你 一 片 深 情 地 向 她 說 「 掛 念 你 ！ 」 她 冷 淡 茫 然 地 反 問 一 句 ： 「 為 什 麼 ？ 」 你 頓 時 如 墮 冰 窖 的 心 灰 意 冷 起 來 。 當 一 段 愛 情 要 問 「 為 什 麼 」 的 時 候 ， 正 是 差 不 多 步 入 結 局 的 時 候 。 口 吐 出 的 一 句 「 掛 念 你 ！ 」 真 摯 和 珍 貴 在 於 那 份 率 真 的 觸 動 ， 沒 有 計 算 後 果 ， 從 心 出 發 。 一 切 說 清 說 楚 ， 詳 盡 分 析 ， 那 便 不 是 愛 情 ， 愛 情 從 來 是 讓 人 莫 名 其 妙 的 一 種 感 覺 ， 愈 解 釋 不 來 ， 證 明 你 愛 得 愈 泥 足 深 陷 。

Happy Birthday.

Birthday is meant to be Happy.

To my cousin Janice, who is born on the 28th of September. An belated Happy Birthday to You~ Wish you all the best in your studies.

And to my sister Kathy, who is celebrating her birthday today. Add oil in your career and i shall find you soon~

Lovely.... just bought a very nice set of Stitch..... just cant wait to put them in my room ^^

Identity Crisis.

Stronger and stronger feeling that i lacked the recognition of others.

That is why... I am working harder than ever in my work... though i dont really like them.

Just looking for the chance to shine.



Failing is something i cant tolerate.

Dont want to be a Loser.

Brutal

Failed the MOS extraction today.

Hated the look from the tutor that "I have expected you to perform better".

Fine.... take it step by step.

Next time I'll be more brutal when extracting teeth.

Time is passing faster and faster....

Time is never enough.

Song of the day: 最後一次 - 鄭秀文

Late...

Late... or never too late?

Watched CF and HK in P2 today.... maybe... I really loved softball...

That's what passion is all about.

Just dunno for how long the passion will last.

Another ordinary school day with extraordinary (troublesome) patient....

Thanks Kennon for the visit... listening to your speech is really antidote for stressful, boring day.

Looking forward to do MOS tomorrow.

Little Bully...

Finally realize how bad it feels when being bullied.....

especially a grown-up, profession being bullied by a 4 year-old....

Fine.... I gave up.... I lose....

Tears are the most effective weapon against me.

Starting to feel the study pressure piling up on me....

Fearful of Dr. Corbet, Dr. A Tse, Dr. Botelho......

Steered myself to get down to business with the Annual Dinner stuff.... but feeling the lack of passion of the people around me... that's pathetic....

Missed the days with the JIC guys (and also the interact people and my WUS chongmates) where we can sit down, have a meeting and BANG - kick some arses, get the work done and then we can relax and enjoy the holiday.... why are people so different here?

Nevermind.... i am in such a high mood for work that you'll have to step over my dead body in order to ruin my work.... but i still believe, "Contribute and Earn your respect, there is not short cut."

Maybe i have been that kind, little Mei Kel for too long.... I am starting to get sick to his life.... just feeling that i am morphing to what i used to be.... that rebellious, act according to da heart Heyman....

Time to roll~

Start to feel indifferent towards my friends and foes...... (evil grins)

Reserved.

"喂一聲 這一聲 你認得出我麼"

Toughts... Scrambled.





Enough...

Failed recovery.

Is on my third antibiotic course....

I wish to have a break.

Somewhere I Belong.....

The feeling of "find out" is just too good.

Finally found the place i belong... F3, Operating Theatre.... that's my place.

Never think that surgeons can be artist as well.... their skills are just like a performance, beautiful, elegant and artistic....

I wanna be like them.

Things done today, GA, IV sedation, positive oxygen application and lots of observation....

Cool.

Sedated.

Once again..... on the brink to fall ill again.....

Headache....

Though no class today.... my rest was really insufficient.....

Once again feel that it's not necessary for the meeting to be more efficient when we have more experience..... the meeting for Annual Dinner was totally chaotic and i'd prefer some more hands on work than just blowing water......

Maybe i'm just too sick now..... shall sleep soon for tomorrow's IV sedation lesson.

Photo.

想笑　來偽裝掉下的眼淚
想哭　來試探自己麻痺了沒....

More and more hating to watch photos i took in the past.
The every glimpse of you...
The image is just unsettling in my mind.

或許頹廢也是另一種美....

Silence.

Tired....

Hate the silence in Dr. Corbet's lesson....

Library are meant for study.... however, their desk aint.

Totally exhausted each day...

BTW, i hate people failing their appointment.

Humiliated....

Enough said already.

Thanks for my fellow players, who gave their trust to me.

Thanks to my coach for his guidance.

Thanks to my supporter (if any), as long as there is auidence, the show must go on....

but this show.... is going to be without me.

I'll not be returning to the rink shortly (or maybe forever)...

Still, this is something memorable.

I am sure i will miss it.
=========================================

Slept non-stop after the match till Monday morning.... able to sleep and eager to eat is probably two signs that i am recovering......

Had a fairly normal clinic treating my young little beast boy.... everything goes quite smoothly today.... maybe... i'll be fine for this lesson..... expecting to do well in the next composite strip crown.

Finally going back to my all-time-favourites..... being the Organizing Committee of Annual Dinner 2006 for the Faculty of Dentistry..... gotta get some things done.... we'll make it buddy~ just hang tough.

I can already smell disaster in the air......

Thanks Fai for noticing something that i have long been accustomed to... maybe I am deserved of it, or maybe not?

Finally got a room visit from freshman this year..... talked quite a lot and thought of something that i have never think before..... um... i always say learning is a two way process..... looking forward to other visit as well.

Is sleepy now.... should be sleeping soon.... shall write again soon.

PS. I missed my friends.... it's time to make up for not able to see you guys and gals when i am having the O camps.

PS.2 Sincere sorry to Kevin, who left for Australia again today..... i'm sure i'll meet you next time and treat you a good meal.

PS3. I 'guess' I will soon recover.

Finally...

Finally the Floor Orientation is over.... it's already my 4th Floor O and to me, this year is just another ordinary year.... hope i can chat with the freshmen more often in the upcoming days....

My current health is still in a mess.... the previous medications dont seems to work... no choice but to take another antibiotic course.... was so drained after taking the pills.....

Went for a wild camp with floormates in the weekend.... the place is so nice.... beautiful beach with a starry night sky.... what more can i ask for? Totally dazed by all the stars above me.... and i've seen the shooting star for the first time in my life.... cant stop making a wish.... and i hope it's gonna to come true soon~

I'm now heading for the hockey match now.... it might be the last one i'd ever attend.... wish me luck.

Mourn...

Suddenly look back of time.... failed to find a single reason to support me to go back to Ice Hockey..... What's the point of sacrificing so many precious things just for a title..... do i care about the fame it brings? Not really..... i cant even convince myself....

Maybe .... it's all because you said I'd look good in that full gear.... but.... nevermind..... i guess i'll be retiring soon....

Life is like this all the time.... You'll never know what you'll get... you change your pace, you might change your life..... but in some way.... i just start hating the uncertainty....

Hate to look back, though this is what i've done tonight..... I was sitting still in a remote corner of the bar, mediating..... thinking and searching for the lost part of myself.....

Only this time.... I prayed.

Still sick....

Sick and tired...

Thought it might be a better idea for some more sleep than school...

Hobby and duty are two things..... when you try hard to combine this two together.... all the joy are gone...

Very worried about the match on Sunday.

Chose a very bad timing to get sick.... feel the muscle pain through out my body... the muscles were lax because i am not working out as i am supposed to..... feel so unready.... both mentally and physically....

Feels like a gladiator about to enter the Colosseum... he can feel his hand trembling.... the fear is deep in his heart.... but he know he cant back off, there is no way back.... the crowd is watching... he can only stand and fight, even if death await.... This man is about to be slaughtered.... let the ring be his final resting ground.

Stressed out.

620373561827222435000CHW

美麗之最

Shuffle.... the unexpected place...

Past... Float once again.

Mind... got stirred.

美麗之最 - Justin

手 願意捐給你拓著頭
做你的安枕剛好足夠
望你的天真可以永久
眼 看你半世還未夠
喜歡你的眉頭 哪怕皺起始終清秀

在某天 未發展 在某間咖啡店
尚記起坐你後面 習慣守望半天
望你從來都溫暖 想一生看下去
還會等一天八十歲 看你髮端灰色的點綴
未來只有樂趣 和你去拖手看新居
雙眼開始像飲醉 尤如觀星 你在這裡
我的雙眼裡 尋找到宇宙之最

心 像太專心看你在忙
望你不施脂粉多好看
自信坦率多可愛眼光
你碰上挫折仍硬朗 不沮喪不徬徨
看你鬥心多麼兇悍

但你竟 用決心 任意放棄所有
獨個走 我要殿後 視線跟著你走
直到你放開所有 想一生看下去
還會等一天八十歲 看你髮端灰色的點綴
未來只有樂趣 天真追我所追
只怕始終未登對 仍然想講我第一句
我的雙眼裡 尋找到美麗之最

說過愛你要接受意外 總要挑戰障礙比賽
最怕看見你抱著決心離開
說過要與你赤道看海 更說永遠愛你未變改
等著你 目光未會離開
等你 回我身邊繼續回味
眼裡每種溫馨好滋味 未來只看著你 微笑中
班點會皺起 得我始終望穿你
仍然想講 最後一句
我的雙眼裡 尋找到美麗之最

Rage...

I just cant confine the burning rage inside of me...

It's so hard to control...

I've just smashed things up in the lockerroom.... It's great to finally feel the pain of my knucles... this is the only real experience i had recently...

It's so hard to bear the disappointed look from my patient... i didnt intentionally fracture the root for Christ sake... I would not be that nonsense to risk my whole career such that i can see you suffer... that's totally nonsense..... I am the one suffering all the blame...

I became a bit scary of myself lately.... Who's this guy? Where is the guy i use to know...

I use to be the one pointing out all the (smarty-assedly-thought) mistake the seniors made..... but till i grew in age.... i realize sometimes it's not the best call to make every right decision...

I just dont know how to put myself in other's shoes and think... You're not be, you wont realize how hard i am trying; how much i am suffering; how good i am doing.....

Really been through too much troble lately...

Have some signs of dementia lately... mood swifts... too easily irritated... I guess i will really go mad someday....

Sorry to my floormates... I tried my best to come back for the floor orientation... but somehow i just failed...

Suddenly wanted to slit my wrist open..... just want to see how much it bleeds...

I must be going crazy...

Defeated.... twice in a day....

Feel totally despair today...

Got so many 'amazing' experience in such a short time....

Thanks to my Paedodontics Clinic..... now i am very sure i will not want my own child (at least up till now i think so).... raising a child is just too hard.... and especially when raising a naughty one..... got totally exhausted using all my skills and patience to literally 'fight' with the child patient of mine.....

You cant expect the child to know what's good for them; they only know if the procedures are painful or not.....

They wont realize a short duration of pain in injection of LA solution is going to save a lot of trouble for both the dentist and himself....

The kid has no idea how dangerous to shook his head when needle is in place, neither does he know how sharp the bur is when he try to push that away....

They are also too spoiled to follow the simpliest command....

What on earth can i do??

(Lucky that i do have a small key chain in my locker that could be used to tame this young, little beast....)

Finally gave up the idea of self-diagnosis on my own situation.... i turn to seek for professional advice as the fever keep on and my throat is now so pain that i can barely eat....

This is what i got.

Diagnosis: Tonsillitis (pretty close to my diagnosis, URTI)

Medication: (this is the funny part)














1. Augumentin - 375mg tab, 1 tab, tds, 5/7
2. Mefenamic Acid - 250mg cap, 1 cap, tds, 3/7
3. Eurolase Tablet, 1 tab, tds, 3/7
4. Dextrocilla Syrup, 5ml, tds, 3/7, prn
5. Sudodrine Tablet, 1 tab, tds, 3/7, prn
6. Paracetamol, 1 tab, qds, 3/7, prn

Well.... i hope i'll be sane enough under the influence of these medicine.....

My friend..... please take care and try not to get sick.

PS. Finally have some encouragement from family on my dental studies.... i am able to make a proper diagnosis for my dad's lower molar.... that mean i am not such a bad dentist after all, aint I?

I dont want to die...

My throat is too pain to speak nor drink.... the adenoid are too swollen from infection.

My ears are too deaf to hear for my Eustachian tubes are infected...

My nose is too clogged up to smell....

My eyes are too blinded by my own tears...

My head is too slow to think because of the fever and headache...

My arms are too heavy to lift from the fatigue and muscle pain the fever brings....

My will is the last thing that can carry me through all these....

I just dont want to die yet... I still got stuffs to do....

Got patient to see tomorrow and the day after....

Got my revision to do before it's too late....

Got the floor Orientation that start tomorrow...

I must get well soon...





When life gets tough.... tough gets to life...
but if i am to choose.... i'd rather have an easy life...
just want a simple life... possibly in a place where few can interrupt... a life of an escapist...

Prepared.

Life's still a mess.

My throat's condition is so worst that i can barely speak...

The clinics are chaotic.

It's time to repay all the debts....

Time is soon running out.... it's the last chance to learn or else i'll leave with nothing....

Frustrated.

By my grandpa's health condition.

I think i am prepared.... but how about my grandma?

Thoughts all lost.

Life is like a deal of cards, there will be times when you have no trump in hand..... you're not there to win the game, but instead, try not to lose, try to survive....

I hope i can do it.

Sick.... Again...

The day off in mid week is a curse...... when i am finally free for a while..... my body told me for how long it's been strained and that it need a rest.....

Headache and Sore throat...

What a suitable way to spent my day-off......

Unexpected gathering with my groupmates and Jeff... time with them is really lovely....

Hapiness... seems so hard to achieve.

Tired...

Life is crazy...

Just feeling that i am all depleted after 2 days of school....

Never experience this kind of feeling... so stressed.... so afraid....

Still got 3 more days to go this week....

First time ever to think of skiving LA clinic lesson...

I dont want to do the MOS extraction tomorrow....

Finally feel the urge to study.... but is it too late?

好辛苦...

Coincidence?

"是緣是情是童真 還是意外
有淚有罪有付出 還有忍耐
是人是牆是寒冬 藏在眼內
有日有夜有幻想 無法等待"

情人 - Beyond

I dont know what to do... it's been.... undescrible by words....

Too busy with dental work lately.... too much to read.

To my Pinky Cubies.

Alright.... now the O camp is over (at least for me, coz i got classes tomorrow)..... just have something that i wanted to share with my O camp group.

To Freshmen: Hall life can be extraordinary or boring, it all depends on how much you give.... I have high expectations on all of you coz i see you all really enjoyed the times we shared in the O camp, you're going to be just fine for hall..... Add oil~~ Support!!! And dont forget to visit me when you have the chance.

To Leaders: I must apologize for being too 'strict' on you lot. Um.... i guess this is the norm, when a senior see a junior, he just cant stop comparing and pick on the wrong-doings... but frankly, you guys and gals have done more than enough to keep the group together, you guys must be so exhausted by now, please have some more rest after the O camp, you are always my beloved grandson and grand-daughter.

To my fellow nightcores: Well..... let's give ourself some applause. Preventing food poisoning from happening is already our greatest achievement given the mix of nightcores we have this year ^^ Cooking and Cleaning with you guys are great fun (coz we made so many jokes in the kitchen....) Now i can see you all growing up and become grannys of others.... this is one great moment for me coz i feel that i can finally have my share of harvest from my O camp..... the education done at that time and the time spent is well deserved...... let's have more reunion after the O camp la~

It's another year already..... time really flies~

Comlicated...

Too many things...

Too complex.

Too hard to explain.

Or maybe, no explaination is already the best option?

一了百了

"最心痛是　愛得太遲　有些心意　不可等某個日子

最可怕是　愛需要及時　只差一秒　心聲都已變歷史

多少抱憾　多少過路人　太懂估計　卻不懂愛錫自身

縱不信運　你不過是人　理想很遠　愛於咫尺卻在等"

愛得太遲 - 古巨基

Solitaire...

Too tired.

傷信

Today I wrote a letter....

Full of regrets.... the pen is so heavy that i can barely lift it.

To my one and only XGF, Happy Birthday to you.

Still in O camp.

Like the term "novice" lately....

A novice might not know all..... but at least he's daring to try..... that's learning, right?

Totally drained...

Stronger and stronger feeling that i am just forcing myself to fake a smile on my face...

I just cant enjoy the moment...

there's been too much on my mind lately...

So worried about grandpa... and so as the upcoming semester....

And even more... I just cant handle my relationship matter correctly....

Too Much Love Will Kill You - Queen

I'm just the pieces of the man I used to be
Too many bitter tears are raining down on me
I'm far away from home
And I've been facing this alone for much too long

Oh, I feel like no-one ever told the truth to me
About growing up and what a struggle it would be
In my tangled state of mind
I've been looking back to find where I went wrong

Too much love will kill you
If you can't make up your mind
Torn between the lover and the love you leave behind
You're headed for disaster 'cos you never read the signs
Too much love will kill you every time

I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be
And it seems like there's no way out of this for me
I used to bring you sunshine
Now all I ever do is bring you down
How would it be if you were standing in my shoes
Can't you see that it's impossible to choose
No there's no making sense of it
Every way I go I'm bound to lose

Too much love will kill you
Just as sure as none at all
It'll drain the power that's in you
Make you plead and scream and crawl
And the pain will make you crazy
You're the victim of your crime
Too much love will kill you every time

Yeah too much love will kill you
It'll make your life a lie
Yes too much love will kill you
And you won't understand why
You'd give your life you'd sell your soul
But here it comes again
Too much love will kill you
In the end, In the end

尷尬...

So exhausted... O camp still in progress..... It's like a war everytime when it's meal time.... non-stop cooking beforehand and tidying afterwards.... anyways.... praises from the group grandson and daughters are my reward.

Luckily my new trial "curry chicken" goes okay in front of them..... Thanks mum for the guidance.

PS. Unexpected time, unexpected place... first time after the aftermath... it's already the best outcome..... what more can i ask for...

Wish you all the best.

Back.

To accept someone losing from my life is so hard, but you seem to be further and further away.

What can i do to keep you back?

Thanks to my WUS chongmates, you guys are wonderful.

State of mind.

It's getting harder and harder to speak my mind...

There she is.... but then.... word just failed to come out.

My true feeling is more and more concealed under a mask...

I wished all can go back, when you're new to university..... when i can look at you and share my thoughts.

找不到 - S.H.E.

曾經相信　你就是我的唯一
忘記思考　生命其他的路徑
不知不覺　身陷愛的濃霧裡

竟然發覺　我的視線已經漸漸不清晰
於是我就這樣　茫然失去了你的蹤跡
翻開地圖竟是過去一堆　沒用的註記

愛的方向找不到　我在你心中還剩多少
我的眼淚不重要　只要你記得回來就好
外面世界吵又鬧　你要小心照顧自己好
沒有了我牽手和擁抱　請你千萬保重　好不好

Bruxism...

Dont even have to wake before i knew how severely did i brux last night... sore TMJ.... if i go on like this..... i might crack all my teeth even before school resumes......

Thanks Horace for the chat this afternoon..... feel so much better..... i might never reach your stage for you've experienced so much..... study together when school start la.

Like this lyric so much.

"有時候愛是一種眼神　趕走所有苦悶 　
是你讓我記得自己不是一個人 　
有你在甚麼都有可能　因為彼此信任 　
真的愛情不需要保證"

眼神 - 孫燕姿

Bitter...

As expected.

Kind of expected accident to happen in the O camp.... but never imagine it's going to happen this quick......

Get well soon la great-granddaughter...... hope to see you in the remaining days of O camp....

(More sarcastically speaking.... if each year we have one people admitted to the A&E, then this year we have used our quotas, our group is going to be just fine in the remaining days, right?)

Feel so hurt..... sometimes.... seeing the fact gives 100 times impact.... However, i am not giving up... Man of faith? Maybe.

Hurt So Bad - 張敬軒

哭了 才發現自己真的受傷了
你曾對我說你永遠是我的。
為了愛情我把自己的幸福都忘了
你快樂 我就快樂

也許 是我們彼此都太年輕了
總是特別容易沉溺在愛情裡
每當我再次看到身邊美麗的花火
你已離開我 我還是想對你說

Baby I love u so much, 你走了我的心在淌血
Baby u hurt me so bad, 想要你回到我的世界
Baby I love u so much, 你給我的諾言已經瓦解
Baby u hurt me so bad

只要我們都愛著
無論多苦都值得
說好的你怎麼忘記了

PS. If on this earth, there exist man with fiery, sunny character, then there must be opposite.... and i am willing to be the man of moon and ice.... I'll wait.... till the time when day turns to night and blizzard storm this earth.... someday.

Lost and Found...

The O camp has finally started.... it has also signified the end of my summer vacation.....

Was in my 4th Hall O camp already..... wow.... i wonder whether i'll have the chance for the fifth one.... all of these experiences seems just yesterday..... so missed the days.....

Was so surprised to find my group emblem (the group which i am in charged of in my year 2) in a descreted corner of 6th floor pantry.... i guess you just cant understand how delighted i am coz i have been searching for that emblem for ages.... though it look a bit old and shabby right now, nonetheless i'll treat it well coz it make me remind of a wonderful experience i had in my hall life...... 失而復得..... feel so glad i have this lovely second chance.

Something has surely brightened my day up.... un.... i knew i am right for doing what i am doing now.... it's worth it.

Time to check on the dessert i am cooking..... shall write again soon.

PS. Glad to have the chance for a full-chong reunion of WUS members, see you all then.
PS2. Have a glance at my time table...... OMG..... 9 session a week? You must be kidding me.

TMD

Um..... something's wrong lately....

Feel so ill lately..... also it seems that i have some sign of TMD on my left temperomandibular joint lately...... can it be stress related?

願我可以學會放低你 - 何韻詩

Crazy.

Crazy experience only occurs on crazy people.... and i am sure i am one of them.

Just realized that i have a undisplaced fracture along the base of the greater trochanter of my left femur..... might never caught it without the use of MRI..... I have no recollection on how i pick up such a damage. (well, normally a fracture should hurt like hell...... but i just dont feel much pain..... maybe something more serious is troubling me lately.....) I now have nothing to do with it cause it require no treatment at all (partly because i have left it unattentioned for too long that part of it heals spontaneously), all i can do now is some physiothearpy to keep my muscles strong enough to protect my bones.....

I must be in my best condition on 17th of September for the selection..... I'm now on a extra-tough recovery programme..... 2 weeks to go.....

O camp is going to start tomorrow..... great expectations.

煩...

"煩哪煩哪煩得不能呼吸
煩哪煩哪煩得沒有力氣
煩哪 我煩哪

煩哪煩哪煩得不敢相信
煩哪煩哪煩得歇斯底里
煩哪 我煩哪"

煩 - 林曉培

Sick, again.

Sorry to my friends, I was in such a terrible condition when i saw you today.

Glad to meet Jeff today, who has been gone for almost 1 whole year..... you dont look any different from last year..... we'll have the chance to meet again in mid-Sept. Happy vacation in the Philippines.

Unexpectedly ran into Jamie and Joesphine today..... take care my friends.

Was so tired today that i actually doze off in different places today...... during lunch..... while waiting for MTR.... and even when i was taking the MRI..... just a place too cozy for sleep (i guess i'll do the same in PPDH anyways)

Night with Kennon.... it's always a heavy responsibility to be a good 'senior' in hall, i shall try my best.

There is nothing better when a cat approach you gleefully.... had this wonderful experience in a park in Sai Wan..... such a lovely kitten.... dont know when i'll see you again.

Feeling sick now.... all things i see is blurred..... terrible....

Inevitable spending....

Found one reason why i should seek for specialist degree when i graduate.... for they can just look at some radiographs and say something that even a GP know and charge you for consultation fee (BTW, it's a lot of consultation fee anyways....) Um..... No comment really.

Finally opted to take the MRI in a private setting tomorrow..... cant believe such a simple diagnostic procedure can cost so much.....

A candle gives the brightest light right before it extinguish..... should anything bad happen, i'll leave my mark in history before i disappear......

Went to give tutorial in the afternoon.... guess it's the last lesson before O camp.....

Tomorrow is reserved for friends. Jeff is finally back from the States. And i have a dinner reservation with my beloved senior Kennon..... tomorrow is going to be a great La Sallian Day.

Time to jog now..... shall write again soon.

Drunk....

First time ever staying in other's hall...

Thanks Chow Fai for providing places for rest.....

In Swire Hall now with Chow Fai, Horace and Jacky..... most of them sleeping like hell under the influence of alcohol (Jacky especially..... who is vomiting non-stop....)

Went for dinner in SOHO with them tonight..... nice restaurant.... unexpectly went to the reunion of "Chun Chi Wong" in CausewayBay and spent some time there before heading to Lot 23 (a bar which one of my tutor is the owner.... He's so kind that he got so many shots for us..... most of us were down tonight.... including me, CF, Horace, Jacky, Hon Ki and Ceci, Pec and Chiu Man....) Wonderful night with them.... sometime a night like this is all we need to rejuvenate our friendship..... drink so much that i can only barely stay awake and put this enry.....

Only realize it's never a good way to relieve stress by alcohol.... coz it's only bringing me more trouble than good....

Troubled.....

Out of my mind....

Once again.... did things before really think about it carefully.... but somehow, deep down in my heart, i knew this is right.... though it may sound stupid.... but i feel good about it.

There are too many things that cant be explained.... maybe i'll just act according to what my heart told me so.

Totally stressed out.

Finally back~

After 3 days of non-stop travelling and sight seeing and spontaneous 'excitation' of my groupmate... the lovely tour to china with my friends has finally come to an end..... just feel lucky to be in this "RC guys" tour (i named it.... coz in our group we've got Rachel (R) and Creamy (C) and the guys like me, Fai, Black and Hon Ki.... pretty well suited, right?)

Travelling with these people are fantastic.... we've got so many wild ideas during the tour and we actually tried out some of them in the trip.... the tour itself is quite good..... we've got good hotels to stay in and some of the activities are real good..... a very relaxing 3 days spent....

I shall upload the photos as soon as possible.... so many funny pics taken....

Never expected it's such a difficult task to find computer with internet access in Mainland..... next time if i ever go back, i am sure i'll bring along my own laptop.... that'll save a lot of trouble....

Hope we're going to have a trip like this soon......

On a trip now

O well..... just wanna say that i am still alive in China.... life here is not too good but i do have a lot of good friends around me that make the trip wonderful..... i shall write more about it once i get back tomorrow......

Leaving.

Will be out of town for 3 days.

If leaving is for coming back.... I doubt where is the true place i belong.....

Said and done.

Things are always easier said than done.

There are things that i cant do... or maybe it's i dont want to do.... I knew i have been selfish.... but please let me.... that's the only reason for my presence...

不要對他說 - 張信哲

Gone for good.

Have been to the Dental O camp this year..... pretty fun and the freshmen are pretty normal..... Thanks my brothers (horace and CF) and Angela for spending the night at the pier...... shall have the chance to chat again before school resumes.....

Totally exhausted after the O camp..... now start to worry about the upcoming 10 days Hall O camp which will start real soon~

I shall leave for China 2 days later...... maybe you can leave me message, i'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Dont know when i'll put my next entry here...... maybe it'll be quite a while later....

For some reasons, my desire of going wandering abroad has intensified once again....

飄流教室 - 古巨基

Limitatations...

Went to Ocean Park today with SPOC family...... it's kinda fun and i insist.... the rides are nothing, there's no point not trying them~~ anyways..... have tried something new today, like taking video while playing the 'Abyss' (maybe i shall put them on Youtube?) Thanks to my friends who have shared a wonderful day with me.

I use to think i should set any limit for myself..... cause the limits are meant to be challenged (that's what i used to think). But now currently engaged in some limitations on my body.... no matter how hard i trained.... there still feels like some distance with the pro-athletes..... when can i shorten the distance? (and better to be before mid-september.... before the selection begins).....

My muscle hurts cause i have put on three times the normal training effort tonight... shall catch some sleep now for the regeneration..... will write soon.

PS. I have bought the annual pass for ocean park..... do find me if you're going there~

Acquaintance.

Once again, despite for the seemingly chaotic sleeping schedule, i am having a perfect normal and ordinary life.... (i must blame the prolonged bed rest starting from a few days ago..... i can no longer sleep in normal times.....) (i'm still having a slight fever.... but i guess there's not much i can do about it now.... must wait till my body adapts to it)

Thursday..... went to give tutorial.... pretty normal...

Friday.... Went for a Reunion with my primary school classmates (and also with my class mistress in 6D, Miss Ngan) in Jordan...... counting the days.... it's exactly 10 years since i left my primary school...... 10 years..... a lot has happened in this 10 years.....

There are some of my classmates which i havent seen since the day i left La Salle Primary School.... but friendship is something special like this... you might not exactly recall how your old friend look.... but you'll always remember the good thing about him..... it's such a wonderful night that we share a lot of our precious memories and laughters together~~

Hopefull we will meet each other more and more frequently (Thanks Charles, Alan, Wan Chen Pong, Sunny, Yeung Chai Pang, Keung Ho Seng, Hui Chun Ying and Che Man Hon for tonight~)

Had a brief chat with brother Jason tonight..... glad to know that he's enjoying his job really much.... All the best my brother~ Have a wonderful weekend.

Defeated.

As usual.... the familiar feeling haunts me after the different camps..... Headache, muscle pain.....

Only this time.... non-stop bed rest and Panadol no longer work.

I must survive.

I just need.... some more luck?

Feels like in battle for the last 2 days..... i guess i have got post-war syndrome already....

Woke in the afternoon and gave tutorial this evening..... pretty much an ordinary day except for my visit to the medical doctor.

Current Ddx: AVN (ICD-10: M87) with some degree of muscle wasting.

Um.... forgot exactly what are the figures for prevalance of AVN..... i can only sure that it should be pretty low.... and the main cause is mostly idiopathic.

Shall take a MRI soon to confirm.

Feeling old....

More and more realize i am no longer the same me as in Year 1 and 2.....

Feeling my body can no longer carry me through 2 or 3 sleepless days.... as evidenced in this touch camp......

After a full night of sharing..... all i can do is to cook the breakfast and then do the dishes before i collasp..... skipped the last part of the touch camp..... it's kind of wasted... but then, i guess i have tried my best in 'promoting' hall life to them..... and their feedback seems quite positive... hope it's going to be fine.....

Was awakened later in the afternoon for the evaluation of the freshmen and overall evaluation of the programme...... have just finished.... I guess i deserve my good sleep now.... goodnight~ Shall write again soon.

In touch camp

As promised.... i am now literally burning my life in the different O camps, starting from today.

Today it's the touch camp of RC Lee hall..... hoping through the camp the freshmen can have a taste of hall life before they decide which hall to choose (or maybe to rethink whether to get in hall or not)..... the programme is more or less like the previous years (meaning that you cant expect me to have the same enthusiasm like before)..... but luckily our group seems quite fine and there's not much for me to worry about.... i can basically enjoy myself in the camp, doing what i am suited best to do, just give a helping hand when the team needs that......

It's really a joyful day today.... hope the freshmen can be inspired and share my thoughts.

Life-Burner.....

Maybe my last few post before i start to burn my life in different O camps~

Thanks James for calling today.... it's glad to know you're okay.

Become more and more intolerant towards people and things..... Conflict-prone lately.... maybe it's the stress.....

Finally cut my hair..... feels like one year ago....

The touch camp will soon start.... i'll write more after it....

PS. To Horus: thanks for the message. We are brothers bonded by blood-pact. Glad to have you around.

To my dear groupmates

I want to dedicate this post to some very wonderful groupmates i have in dental faculty....

I must apologize to Rachel that we have been groupmates for 3 years already...... I have never written anything about you in my blog (maybe i have in year 1.... but just a word or two)

Got an unexpected chance to chat with them tonight.... just a casual dinner, very relaxed manner~

Learned so much about how people see me before....

Never expected rachel is the one who knows-it-all in the group..... maybe we are all too deceived by your apparantly unintelligent appearence..... thanks for sacrificing so much in keeping our group together......

Thanks for your advice given..... i guess it's always better to have advice from a gals' stand poing regarding the relationship issues.....

Just wanna quote a pharse from Horace (who's unfortunately not here tonight.... guess he's now in Nepal somewhere....) "我學會了甚麼是朋友"..... Thanks Chow Fai and Rachel.

Take care my friends..... we shall meet again soon.

PS. I'll soon be leaving HK for a few days..... change itself is not bad, it only depends on how you react to changes.

I-day

So tired.... but it's worth it.....

Helped in the Informations day today..... seeing so many freshmen.... greeting them and showing them our hall over and over again..... trying to promote what i think it's joyful to them... I've done my part.... the others are left for them to decide.

I hate taking advantage of people.
An eye for an eye.... maybe that's better.