Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Flip a new page

Have taken several small steps to walk me out of my misery for now.... just feel quite clueless about myself (Jeff.... i'm fine.... just complaining right here)

Kinda like sitting real still on my bed, thinking of what's happening around me (that's some kind of meditation...) i now realize the fact that this world is always much larger that what we think.... and what we do always give a impact to it.... but we can never control it.... it might be better if we dun think of any consequences and do things as we wanted.... in this way you may have a better life......

Alright... Enough blathering... let me see what i have done for today....... Full day clinic again... have quite a bizzarre encounter with my year 1 tutor that she ended up picking me up to PPDH from Hall..... well... it's really a strange story..... but i'd consider myself lucky in ways.....

Morning session.... fighting with my nemesis again.... used 3 amalgam pellet to completely restore a grossly broken down tooth (with only one-sixth of tooth substance left.... i'd say it's a rather impressive work from me ^^)

Afternoon.... endured a boring MOS consultation.... met a rather problematic patient (i actually have pity on her as i consider myself a whole lot more fortunate than she do....) i guess that only good thing about dentistry is that it gives you a chance to interact with people... and if you're willing to think more, you'll get more out of it......

Night.... was occupied by the Hall business again..... just tedious works and works and works.....

Just some incident has swirled my mind again..... shall i live with regrets? In one way, it's always worth the try to things that you're not confident with... but then.... why not leave a trace of regret in life such that it drive you through the rest of your life?? that's really something contradicting..... What can I do?

PS. Secrets cant be kept for long
PS2. Thanks Horace, "Problems are meant to be solved, but not to evade from it." I'll mark you words.

Monday, February 27, 2006

A friend is...

Well.... have spent another lazy weekend doing nothing in particular......

Friday, full day of school..... quite dementing when i am fighting my nemesis..... ID nerve block and alamgam restoration..... have something to blame for my laziness in year 2..... i must improve if i am to gratuate......

Saturday night.... some unhappy incident happened on my friend and went out to CB... through the chat i guess i have learned something as well..... "Everything will be okay~ Just fine...."

Just thought of something and wanted to put it here....

A friend is....

someone who scold you which make you a better person;
someone who give you a call and can brighten up your day;
someone who, when you're in trouble, no question asked and stand by you to support;
someone who can share laughters and tears;
someone who, you feel so secure when you're with him/her, you can do or say whatever you want to....

To my dear friends, Thank You. You are inspiring and motivating, you have shaped me up and made me a better person.

PS. To those who have played my personality test (Tony, Jeff, Kathy, Ceci and Horus)... thanks~ at least you have let me know what kind of person i am (or seemed to you).

Friday, February 24, 2006

Quiz about me.

Alright, time is flying real fast..... it's already Thursday night and i have skipped the entry on Wedensday night..... let me see what i have done over these 2 days.

Wednesday.... an ordinary day.... School in the morning and got back to hall to do my laundry.... bought a new leather chair... no longer have to sit on the chair that make my back ache.... Dinner with the old ghost of the floor in CB... it's real fun seeing them.... but dunno why i am more and more having a thought that i might not stay in Hall for the whole of my 5 years of study.... i didnt mean that i dont like the life in hall.... but then.... i guess it's time for a change.... afterall... life is more and more of a routine in hall for me..... and study is another big issue for me..... can never really get down to studies when i'm here.... sigh.... such kind of thoughts really troubled me.... but then... i guess i'll at least stay until the end of this year...... shall consider this more thoroughly later.....

Thursday.... slept till noon as i watched the European Champions League last night.... got up and head for school..... just had another sloppy day...... (also, fate is something that you cant escape, isnt this true Horace?).... Later that night went to festival walk to meet with SPOC people (for kenny's birthday).... it's quite a while since i last met them.....

Hey, i have made a simple quiz that can help me know myself better, Do fill this out when you have time (it's alright even if you keep anonymous, but i'd curious to know who you are : p)

http://kevan.org/johari?name=heyman_kelvin

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Study???

Um...

Even after making up my mind to get serious on studies..... it turn out that i didnt do any study today..... that's pretty bad.....

I have skipped today's morning lesson, which is a lab session (for which i consider myself lucky as the session was cancelled due to 'some' reason..... the professor was psychotic and blown off the class...)..... enjoyed a good sleep....

Afternoon..... doing no preparation and head straight to lesson..... regreted about that.......

Later that night i went to a lecture delivered by Dr. Robert Ng about Endodontics.... pretty impressive actually~ and it's also the first time i've been to such lesson..... Time for a change maybe?

PS. Ice hockey.... Canada just defeated Czech by the score of 3:2
PS2. Benfica Vs Liverpool 2 hours later...... just hope that Liverpool can win ^^

Monday, February 20, 2006

It's now or never.

Probably I am just too influenced by the weather..... like these few days it's being cold in HK for now, i act the same.... dont want to do even a tiniest piece of work.... when'll this hell be over?

Friday went out with Sally, Kathy and Jonathan (again)..... it's really great to have these marvellous people by yourside..... and i'll never forget where that 4 Litre of wine went.....

Have the chance to review one of my patient i have seen in year 2..... um..... my feelings are mixed...... now with more clinical experience i can see how foolish (i'd better say childish) my thinking was in the treatment planning.... but in some sense i also admire myself for knowing something that is supposed to be out of the level of a year 2 student...... but i am so ashamed that i have failed to retain that bit of knowledge.... worst still.... just heard from my colleagues saying such a comment, "You use to be the best when you're in year 2."...... that's is really something and inspiring.... if i can do it then, why cant i do it now?? It's simply now or never......

I guess my mentality has been changed from the usual pacifist to a more aggressive person... i now simply enjoy watching ice hockey (probably the most violence sports apart from fighting) and listening to Eminem (man, he's cool~)..... dunno why.... but i just feels that life's back to my A-Levels again......

One song i wanna share, the new Eason Chan's song.... and specially dedicated to my friends.

最佳損友 - 陳奕迅

朋友 我當你一秒朋友
朋友 我當你一世朋友
奇怪 過去再不堪回首
懷緬 時時其實還有

朋友 你試過將我營救
朋友 你試過把我批鬥
無法 再與你交心聯手
畢竟 難得 有過最佳損友

從前共你 促膝把酒 傾通宵都不夠
我有痛快過 你有沒有
很多東西今生只可給你 保守至到永久
別人如何明白透
實實在在 踏入過我宇宙
即使相處到 有個裂口
命運決定了 以後再沒法聚頭
但說過去 卻那樣厚

問我有沒有 確實也沒有
一直躲避的藉口 非甚麼大仇
為何舊知己 在最後 變不到老友
不知你是我敵友 已沒法望透 
被推著走 跟著生活流 
來年陌生的 是昨日最親的某某

生死之交當天不知罕有
到你變節了 至覺未夠
多想一天 彼此都不追究 
相邀再次喝酒 待葡萄成熟透
但是命運入面 每個邂逅
一起走到了 某個路口
是敵與是友 各自也沒有自由
位置變了 各有隊友

問我有沒有 確實也沒有
一直躲避的藉口 非甚麼大仇
為何舊知己 在最後 變不到老友
不知你是我敵友 已沒法望透 
被推著走 跟著生活流 
來年陌生的 是昨日最親的某某

早知解散後 各自有 際遇作導遊
奇就奇在 接受了 各自有路走
卻沒人像你 讓我 眼淚背著流
嚴重似情侶 講分手

有沒有 確實也沒有
一直躲避的藉口 非甚麼大仇
為何舊知己 在最後 變不到老友
不知你又有沒有 掛念這舊友
或者自己 早就想通透
來年陌生的 是昨日 最親的某某
總好於 那日我 沒有 沒有 遇過 某某

Friday, February 17, 2006

Pretty bad start of Febrary.

Okay, I'm now back.....

I didnt intend to quit writing for so long.... but then the connections to blogger was quite laggy when i'm in the right mood to write..... i really missed the feeling of writing here....

I always dont have a good feeling towards Feb. especially after a long Chinese Lunar Holiday and it's now time to work 10+ hours in the hospital, taking blame both from the top (tutors, professors) and bottom (the patients.... they really suffer though)..... leave alone the stresses from studies..... man, life is real tough....

It's getting quite windy and cold in hong kong these few days... dunno why but i just simply hate this kind of weather.....

Spent my Saturday and Sunday leisurely..... without doing much but i guess that's the only way to rejuvenate my worn-out soul....

Monday, full day clinic, as dementing as usual..... just lucky enough to witness the effect aspirin has on a surgical wound without killing the patient.... that's really horrible when you see blood flowing out (pretty much like you open a tap) instead of just dripping out..... Bloody Hell....

Tuesday... struggled for long before decided to get back for school in the morning.... pretty much a normal day....

It's a St. Valentine's Dayon Tuesday as well.... dunno what i should write here... probably it's just my personality... i have no chance to fulfill my plans.... Au revoir.

Wednesday... was kinda sloppy again.... took the patient folder back to hall but didnt even touched it.... Just wanna sit real still and feel.... images kept flashing in my head.... it's quite a wonderful feeling.... now that i understand why people will love meditation or Zen.... it really helps your mind.....

Thursday.... clinic again.... have decided to take this patient as my log case (i've gotta present his progress to my superior at the end of term)..... it's time to get serious.... gotta prove myself. (but all these come with a price... eg. i stayed till 7 in the library just to flip through his previous dental history and work out the diagnosis and treatment planning...... i hope it's worth it)

Dear all.... Sorry if i sound too chaotic in this entry..... frankly... i dun really know what i'm writing as well.... just some random thoughts~

PS. Jeff, dun be too upset about your car, it's just sheer bad luck (just be optimistic and wait for the good luck to come)

紀念 - 鄧穎芝

到了 紀念約會那套好戲那截戲飛失落了
我卻知道 若是毫無大變 我怎麼會哭了
送了 禮物有沒有接收過我亦給你傷害了
坐到通宵 你為何只懂苦笑
如暗示我再難被你需要

從沒有人知 當初我共你相戀為何紀念只可以到此
再沒後來也想將你懷緬 延續那感情線
換你手中的戒指 
原諒我無知 情人節講分手算不算絕情未能和你試一次
我這個玩笑 不得已成真 分手初吻 在同一天終結 可不可以

算了 紀念再重要到底也接近尾聲玩完了
再見擁抱 並沒甜言蜜語 已經不再緊要
散了 你亦要令我痛心說最後一次失陪了
面對失戀 我如何抑止心跳
人已被你挾持沒法呼叫

從沒有人知 當初我共你相戀為何紀念只可以到此
再沒後來也想將你懷緬 延續那感情線
換你手中的戒指 
原諒我無知 情人節講分手算不算絕情未能和你試一次
我這個玩笑 不得已成真 分手初吻 在同一天終結 可不可以

記得 當年今日我們剛開始現在 
你的吻卻帶有苦澀
苦得我不敢親口承認感情終止
紀念日誰像我如此

當初發誓要一起為何紀念只可以到此
我自問曾放開一切嘗試留在你生命線
做你掌心的女子

難道你明知情人節講分手至少夠突然令人忘卻了心智
你繼續陪我 我繼續流淚 多麼諷刺
但求你別淡忘 這種景緻

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Alone....

Alright..... I have failed to put entry in the last two days again..... just been too busy and didnt have the mood to write......

Okay... let me sum up with what i have done in the last 2 days.....

Wednesday, morning is the Crown course... It's lucky that the lesson has been a relatively one.... coz the tutor has invitated the sales from 3M to do the promotion of the impression material.... pretty impressive..... the improtant point is that we have actually wasted almost $20000 dollars worth of material just in the short 3 hours duration of class....

After the class... went to Kowloon City and have an hair cut..... Dinner with Kevin (Btw, Happy Birthday to him), we shared some very great time in Mong Kok before heading back to Hall...

After a night deprived from sleep..... went back for clinic.... i have done a new diagnosis for my patient but i just dun feels like writing up the folder properly..... ends up the folder is still in my locker now.... gotta find sometime and finish it soon.....

Dinner with family on thursday night.... it's been quite a while before i had the chance to dine out....

Friday morning.... full day of school, totally exhausted.... it's the first ortho lesson in months already..... i usually tend to skip that class, but just feel that it's not the right attitude towards the should-be-interesting subject that i went back..... turns out that the lesson is quite okay......

Afternoon, clinic..... made a stupid judgement by calling 2 patients back..... i have "accidentally" found one caries that i missed during my charting that i have to do the restoration immediately..... and worse still.... i have decided to take impression under the supervision of a prosthedontic tutor..... great disaster that i have to take 6 trials before getting a good one...... the outcome is that i can not manage to see my other patient...... damn it......

Friday night, went to have dinner with James, Kathy and Jonathan..... it's the great chemistry among us that made our meeting so much fun every time.... it's inspiring to speak with these great people on my current situation (both at work and generally~)..... Friends are friends for life, i am very sure about this.....

I'm really tired now.... shall stop here.... write later~

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

In Stress....

Struggled for a while before decided to put this entry... coz i knew that if i didnt pick up this habit, i'll never write again~

Is it always necessarily that when you grow older, you become wiser? Seems not the case..... just feeling that even when i promote to year 3, my knowledge is weaker then i was in year 1 or 2..... sigh.... fully demostrated in today's PBL class..... shameful....

High Table tonight..... kinda tired of this kind of 'social gathering' (You'll feel the same when you're real tired and in bad mood....).... kinda waste of time in my point of view..... the only good side of the night.... i can stay enjoy some great conversation with my friends...

Works got piled up already.... whenever i try to read some books or do some reading in the library.... i can do nothing else but sleep.... is this pathological??

Shall stop here.... start to get sleepy..... shall write soon.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

First day of school

"My will is strong..... but my flesh is weak"

Cant agree more on this phrase.... i have intended and successfully locked myself in the library..... turns out that i can only manage to get some sleep (not too bad afterall tho...... i am severely deprived from sleep....)

Morning, Clinical lesson.... quite okay (can be better if i dont have to practice "two-handed" dentistry owing to the lack of assistance in the hospital..... have to hold the suction and mirror in the left hand while the right hand is holding the spinning bur that's cutting the patitent's tooth...... kinda scary).....

Just realized how fragile a tooth is..... almost crack one today......

Afternoon.... my beloved Surgery lesson.... feeling great..... was quite successful today (can be better if i'm not forgotful.......).... next lesson will be the last extraction lesson... gotta make use of the very limited chance to practice..... (Minor Oral Surgery is coming up....)

Watched the interclass match and had dinner with Wendy..... it's already 11pm..... why did time go so fast??

Got lesson again tomorrow.... shall sleep now....

Sunday, February 05, 2006

School resume

Finally.... after one whole week of slacking off and time wasting (actually 2 weeks in total, i'm in no mood of study during the floor fest week) i will resume school tomorrow.... i can only pray for my patient tomorrow as i feel that i am in a very poor condition to do the dental work..... dunno, but going back to school is supposed a good thing as it make me to live some more 'regular' life again~

Went to church today with my aunt.... have no particular feeling but only further confirmed that i am not a religious person.... i always thought there are some higher power controlling the fundamentals of this lovely earth, but i dun believe in what the churches do..... i'd say i'm a "Christ" person than a "church" person..... but somehow this thought has almost waged a war between me and my aunt..... sigh..... religion.......

Dear Friends, thanks for the message you wrote me.... i shall call back soon once i have my life sort out....

Chelsea VS Liverpool tonight..... Liverpool gonna Win!!!!

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Motivation

Seem to have lost the motivation to write here...... actually more accurately speaking... i seem to lose the momentum to do anything.... start to hate myself, love dreaming, with all sort of goals but failed to get them done...... Such a loser~

Basically isolated myself from the world in the Chinese new year.... i must apologize to my friends for not finding/calling them even i have time...... just dun feel like it..... but i really do miss all of you~

My studies are still in a mess.... gotta try harder......

Suddenly realize that i am not a picky person.... this can be good or bad..... i might sometimes be too indifferent towards things.....

Men are afraid of changes.... but somehow.... i'd like a change from the current me though......

I am too used to being alone.... more and more intolerant towards people bugging me....

Watched "Narnia".... i wished i have such a wardrobe which i can hide in as well..... just to hide in my fantasy world~

PS. Friends.... i miss you badly...