Missing You

掛念你 - 葉念琛

愛 上 一 個 人 ， 其 中 一 個 很 重 要 的 條 件 ， 是 隨 時 隨 地 也 掛 念 她 。

一 對 深 深 相 愛 的 情 侶 ， 見 少 一 面 ， 見 少 一 秒 也 會 輾 轉 反 側 。 逛 完 一 天 街 ， 把 她 送 到 家 門 前 ， 依 依 不 捨 ， 難 捨 難 離 之 後 ， 回 家 不 久 電 話 已 經 響 起 ： 「 我 想 見 你 ！ 」 電 話 筒 那 邊 傳 來 癡 纏 和 惦 念 的 聲 音 。 於 是 ， 你 匆 匆 又 跑 到 街 上 ， 氣 急 敗 壞 來 到 她 樓 下 。 一 串 銀 鈴 般 的 開 懷 笑 聲 伴 她 興 奮 的 腳 步 愈 來 愈 近 ， 換 了 衣 服 ， 打 扮 標 緻 的 可 人 兒 嫣 然 一 笑 地 站 在 面 前 ， 你 們 在 一 個 約 會 結 束 了 不 夠 一 小 時 後 ， 又 喜 悅 萬 分 地 展 開 了 另 一 次 的 約 會 。

愛 情 的 感 覺 在 身 體 蠢 蠢 欲 動 ， 不 知 恁 的 會 製 造 出 大 量 的 掛 念 出 來 。 想 念 她 佔 據 了 你 所 有 的 時 間 和 生 活 。 你 總 是 控 制 不 了 自 己 ， 無 聊 地 撥 一 通 電 話 給 她 ， 只 為 說 一 句 ： 「 掛 念 你 ！ 」 又 或 是 心 血 來 潮 地 發 一 通 SMS ， 也 是 那 三 個 字 ： 「 掛 念 你 ！ 」 當 然 ， 你 心 底 盼 望 ， 她 跟 你 其 實 一 直 心 靈 互 通 。 當 你 鼓 起 勇 氣 對 她 說 ： 「 掛 念 你 」 的 時 候 ， 她 會 心 有 靈 犀 地 回 答 ： 「 我 也 是 。 」 或 者 更 你 雀 躍 的 答 案 ： 「 你 在 哪 ？ 我 來 見 你 ！ 」

然 而 ， 當 愛 情 一 天 突 然 之 間 ， 無 聲 無 息 地 消 失 蹤 影 。 掛 念 的 感 覺 首 先 會 煙 消 雲 散 。 你 一 廂 情 願 地 繼 續 跟 她 說 一 千 句 「 掛 念 你 」 也 好 ， 她 卻 是 只 會 無 動 於 衷 。 當 然 ， 最 傷 心 和 無 奈 的 又 是 當 你 一 片 深 情 地 向 她 說 「 掛 念 你 ！ 」 她 冷 淡 茫 然 地 反 問 一 句 ： 「 為 什 麼 ？ 」 你 頓 時 如 墮 冰 窖 的 心 灰 意 冷 起 來 。 當 一 段 愛 情 要 問 「 為 什 麼 」 的 時 候 ， 正 是 差 不 多 步 入 結 局 的 時 候 。 口 吐 出 的 一 句 「 掛 念 你 ！ 」 真 摯 和 珍 貴 在 於 那 份 率 真 的 觸 動 ， 沒 有 計 算 後 果 ， 從 心 出 發 。 一 切 說 清 說 楚 ， 詳 盡 分 析 ， 那 便 不 是 愛 情 ， 愛 情 從 來 是 讓 人 莫 名 其 妙 的 一 種 感 覺 ， 愈 解 釋 不 來 ， 證 明 你 愛 得 愈 泥 足 深 陷 。

Happy Birthday.

Birthday is meant to be Happy.

To my cousin Janice, who is born on the 28th of September. An belated Happy Birthday to You~ Wish you all the best in your studies.

And to my sister Kathy, who is celebrating her birthday today. Add oil in your career and i shall find you soon~

Lovely.... just bought a very nice set of Stitch..... just cant wait to put them in my room ^^

Identity Crisis.

Stronger and stronger feeling that i lacked the recognition of others.

That is why... I am working harder than ever in my work... though i dont really like them.

Just looking for the chance to shine.



Failing is something i cant tolerate.

Dont want to be a Loser.

Brutal

Failed the MOS extraction today.

Hated the look from the tutor that "I have expected you to perform better".

Fine.... take it step by step.

Next time I'll be more brutal when extracting teeth.

Time is passing faster and faster....

Time is never enough.

Song of the day: 最後一次 - 鄭秀文

Late...

Late... or never too late?

Watched CF and HK in P2 today.... maybe... I really loved softball...

That's what passion is all about.

Just dunno for how long the passion will last.

Another ordinary school day with extraordinary (troublesome) patient....

Thanks Kennon for the visit... listening to your speech is really antidote for stressful, boring day.

Looking forward to do MOS tomorrow.

Little Bully...

Finally realize how bad it feels when being bullied.....

especially a grown-up, profession being bullied by a 4 year-old....

Fine.... I gave up.... I lose....

Tears are the most effective weapon against me.

Starting to feel the study pressure piling up on me....

Fearful of Dr. Corbet, Dr. A Tse, Dr. Botelho......

Steered myself to get down to business with the Annual Dinner stuff.... but feeling the lack of passion of the people around me... that's pathetic....

Missed the days with the JIC guys (and also the interact people and my WUS chongmates) where we can sit down, have a meeting and BANG - kick some arses, get the work done and then we can relax and enjoy the holiday.... why are people so different here?

Nevermind.... i am in such a high mood for work that you'll have to step over my dead body in order to ruin my work.... but i still believe, "Contribute and Earn your respect, there is not short cut."

Maybe i have been that kind, little Mei Kel for too long.... I am starting to get sick to his life.... just feeling that i am morphing to what i used to be.... that rebellious, act according to da heart Heyman....

Time to roll~

Start to feel indifferent towards my friends and foes...... (evil grins)

Reserved.

"喂一聲 這一聲 你認得出我麼"

Toughts... Scrambled.





Enough...

Failed recovery.

Is on my third antibiotic course....

I wish to have a break.

Somewhere I Belong.....

The feeling of "find out" is just too good.

Finally found the place i belong... F3, Operating Theatre.... that's my place.

Never think that surgeons can be artist as well.... their skills are just like a performance, beautiful, elegant and artistic....

I wanna be like them.

Things done today, GA, IV sedation, positive oxygen application and lots of observation....

Cool.

Sedated.

Once again..... on the brink to fall ill again.....

Headache....

Though no class today.... my rest was really insufficient.....

Once again feel that it's not necessary for the meeting to be more efficient when we have more experience..... the meeting for Annual Dinner was totally chaotic and i'd prefer some more hands on work than just blowing water......

Maybe i'm just too sick now..... shall sleep soon for tomorrow's IV sedation lesson.

Photo.

想笑　來偽裝掉下的眼淚
想哭　來試探自己麻痺了沒....

More and more hating to watch photos i took in the past.
The every glimpse of you...
The image is just unsettling in my mind.

或許頹廢也是另一種美....

Silence.

Tired....

Hate the silence in Dr. Corbet's lesson....

Library are meant for study.... however, their desk aint.

Totally exhausted each day...

BTW, i hate people failing their appointment.

Humiliated....

Enough said already.

Thanks for my fellow players, who gave their trust to me.

Thanks to my coach for his guidance.

Thanks to my supporter (if any), as long as there is auidence, the show must go on....

but this show.... is going to be without me.

I'll not be returning to the rink shortly (or maybe forever)...

Still, this is something memorable.

I am sure i will miss it.
=========================================

Slept non-stop after the match till Monday morning.... able to sleep and eager to eat is probably two signs that i am recovering......

Had a fairly normal clinic treating my young little beast boy.... everything goes quite smoothly today.... maybe... i'll be fine for this lesson..... expecting to do well in the next composite strip crown.

Finally going back to my all-time-favourites..... being the Organizing Committee of Annual Dinner 2006 for the Faculty of Dentistry..... gotta get some things done.... we'll make it buddy~ just hang tough.

I can already smell disaster in the air......

Thanks Fai for noticing something that i have long been accustomed to... maybe I am deserved of it, or maybe not?

Finally got a room visit from freshman this year..... talked quite a lot and thought of something that i have never think before..... um... i always say learning is a two way process..... looking forward to other visit as well.

Is sleepy now.... should be sleeping soon.... shall write again soon.

PS. I missed my friends.... it's time to make up for not able to see you guys and gals when i am having the O camps.

PS.2 Sincere sorry to Kevin, who left for Australia again today..... i'm sure i'll meet you next time and treat you a good meal.

PS3. I 'guess' I will soon recover.

Finally...

Finally the Floor Orientation is over.... it's already my 4th Floor O and to me, this year is just another ordinary year.... hope i can chat with the freshmen more often in the upcoming days....

My current health is still in a mess.... the previous medications dont seems to work... no choice but to take another antibiotic course.... was so drained after taking the pills.....

Went for a wild camp with floormates in the weekend.... the place is so nice.... beautiful beach with a starry night sky.... what more can i ask for? Totally dazed by all the stars above me.... and i've seen the shooting star for the first time in my life.... cant stop making a wish.... and i hope it's gonna to come true soon~

I'm now heading for the hockey match now.... it might be the last one i'd ever attend.... wish me luck.

Mourn...

Suddenly look back of time.... failed to find a single reason to support me to go back to Ice Hockey..... What's the point of sacrificing so many precious things just for a title..... do i care about the fame it brings? Not really..... i cant even convince myself....

Maybe .... it's all because you said I'd look good in that full gear.... but.... nevermind..... i guess i'll be retiring soon....

Life is like this all the time.... You'll never know what you'll get... you change your pace, you might change your life..... but in some way.... i just start hating the uncertainty....

Hate to look back, though this is what i've done tonight..... I was sitting still in a remote corner of the bar, mediating..... thinking and searching for the lost part of myself.....

Only this time.... I prayed.

Still sick....

Sick and tired...

Thought it might be a better idea for some more sleep than school...

Hobby and duty are two things..... when you try hard to combine this two together.... all the joy are gone...

Very worried about the match on Sunday.

Chose a very bad timing to get sick.... feel the muscle pain through out my body... the muscles were lax because i am not working out as i am supposed to..... feel so unready.... both mentally and physically....

Feels like a gladiator about to enter the Colosseum... he can feel his hand trembling.... the fear is deep in his heart.... but he know he cant back off, there is no way back.... the crowd is watching... he can only stand and fight, even if death await.... This man is about to be slaughtered.... let the ring be his final resting ground.

Stressed out.

620373561827222435000CHW

美麗之最

Shuffle.... the unexpected place...

Past... Float once again.

Mind... got stirred.

美麗之最 - Justin

手 願意捐給你拓著頭
做你的安枕剛好足夠
望你的天真可以永久
眼 看你半世還未夠
喜歡你的眉頭 哪怕皺起始終清秀

在某天 未發展 在某間咖啡店
尚記起坐你後面 習慣守望半天
望你從來都溫暖 想一生看下去
還會等一天八十歲 看你髮端灰色的點綴
未來只有樂趣 和你去拖手看新居
雙眼開始像飲醉 尤如觀星 你在這裡
我的雙眼裡 尋找到宇宙之最

心 像太專心看你在忙
望你不施脂粉多好看
自信坦率多可愛眼光
你碰上挫折仍硬朗 不沮喪不徬徨
看你鬥心多麼兇悍

但你竟 用決心 任意放棄所有
獨個走 我要殿後 視線跟著你走
直到你放開所有 想一生看下去
還會等一天八十歲 看你髮端灰色的點綴
未來只有樂趣 天真追我所追
只怕始終未登對 仍然想講我第一句
我的雙眼裡 尋找到美麗之最

說過愛你要接受意外 總要挑戰障礙比賽
最怕看見你抱著決心離開
說過要與你赤道看海 更說永遠愛你未變改
等著你 目光未會離開
等你 回我身邊繼續回味
眼裡每種溫馨好滋味 未來只看著你 微笑中
班點會皺起 得我始終望穿你
仍然想講 最後一句
我的雙眼裡 尋找到美麗之最

Rage...

I just cant confine the burning rage inside of me...

It's so hard to control...

I've just smashed things up in the lockerroom.... It's great to finally feel the pain of my knucles... this is the only real experience i had recently...

It's so hard to bear the disappointed look from my patient... i didnt intentionally fracture the root for Christ sake... I would not be that nonsense to risk my whole career such that i can see you suffer... that's totally nonsense..... I am the one suffering all the blame...

I became a bit scary of myself lately.... Who's this guy? Where is the guy i use to know...

I use to be the one pointing out all the (smarty-assedly-thought) mistake the seniors made..... but till i grew in age.... i realize sometimes it's not the best call to make every right decision...

I just dont know how to put myself in other's shoes and think... You're not be, you wont realize how hard i am trying; how much i am suffering; how good i am doing.....

Really been through too much troble lately...

Have some signs of dementia lately... mood swifts... too easily irritated... I guess i will really go mad someday....

Sorry to my floormates... I tried my best to come back for the floor orientation... but somehow i just failed...

Suddenly wanted to slit my wrist open..... just want to see how much it bleeds...

I must be going crazy...

Defeated.... twice in a day....

Feel totally despair today...

Got so many 'amazing' experience in such a short time....

Thanks to my Paedodontics Clinic..... now i am very sure i will not want my own child (at least up till now i think so).... raising a child is just too hard.... and especially when raising a naughty one..... got totally exhausted using all my skills and patience to literally 'fight' with the child patient of mine.....

You cant expect the child to know what's good for them; they only know if the procedures are painful or not.....

They wont realize a short duration of pain in injection of LA solution is going to save a lot of trouble for both the dentist and himself....

The kid has no idea how dangerous to shook his head when needle is in place, neither does he know how sharp the bur is when he try to push that away....

They are also too spoiled to follow the simpliest command....

What on earth can i do??

(Lucky that i do have a small key chain in my locker that could be used to tame this young, little beast....)

Finally gave up the idea of self-diagnosis on my own situation.... i turn to seek for professional advice as the fever keep on and my throat is now so pain that i can barely eat....

This is what i got.

Diagnosis: Tonsillitis (pretty close to my diagnosis, URTI)

Medication: (this is the funny part)














1. Augumentin - 375mg tab, 1 tab, tds, 5/7
2. Mefenamic Acid - 250mg cap, 1 cap, tds, 3/7
3. Eurolase Tablet, 1 tab, tds, 3/7
4. Dextrocilla Syrup, 5ml, tds, 3/7, prn
5. Sudodrine Tablet, 1 tab, tds, 3/7, prn
6. Paracetamol, 1 tab, qds, 3/7, prn

Well.... i hope i'll be sane enough under the influence of these medicine.....

My friend..... please take care and try not to get sick.

PS. Finally have some encouragement from family on my dental studies.... i am able to make a proper diagnosis for my dad's lower molar.... that mean i am not such a bad dentist after all, aint I?

I dont want to die...

My throat is too pain to speak nor drink.... the adenoid are too swollen from infection.

My ears are too deaf to hear for my Eustachian tubes are infected...

My nose is too clogged up to smell....

My eyes are too blinded by my own tears...

My head is too slow to think because of the fever and headache...

My arms are too heavy to lift from the fatigue and muscle pain the fever brings....

My will is the last thing that can carry me through all these....

I just dont want to die yet... I still got stuffs to do....

Got patient to see tomorrow and the day after....

Got my revision to do before it's too late....

Got the floor Orientation that start tomorrow...

I must get well soon...





When life gets tough.... tough gets to life...
but if i am to choose.... i'd rather have an easy life...
just want a simple life... possibly in a place where few can interrupt... a life of an escapist...

Prepared.

Life's still a mess.

My throat's condition is so worst that i can barely speak...

The clinics are chaotic.

It's time to repay all the debts....

Time is soon running out.... it's the last chance to learn or else i'll leave with nothing....

Frustrated.

By my grandpa's health condition.

I think i am prepared.... but how about my grandma?

Thoughts all lost.

Life is like a deal of cards, there will be times when you have no trump in hand..... you're not there to win the game, but instead, try not to lose, try to survive....

I hope i can do it.

Sick.... Again...

The day off in mid week is a curse...... when i am finally free for a while..... my body told me for how long it's been strained and that it need a rest.....

Headache and Sore throat...

What a suitable way to spent my day-off......

Unexpected gathering with my groupmates and Jeff... time with them is really lovely....

Hapiness... seems so hard to achieve.

Tired...

Life is crazy...

Just feeling that i am all depleted after 2 days of school....

Never experience this kind of feeling... so stressed.... so afraid....

Still got 3 more days to go this week....

First time ever to think of skiving LA clinic lesson...

I dont want to do the MOS extraction tomorrow....

Finally feel the urge to study.... but is it too late?

好辛苦...

Coincidence?

"是緣是情是童真 還是意外
有淚有罪有付出 還有忍耐
是人是牆是寒冬 藏在眼內
有日有夜有幻想 無法等待"

情人 - Beyond

I dont know what to do... it's been.... undescrible by words....

Too busy with dental work lately.... too much to read.

To my Pinky Cubies.

Alright.... now the O camp is over (at least for me, coz i got classes tomorrow)..... just have something that i wanted to share with my O camp group.

To Freshmen: Hall life can be extraordinary or boring, it all depends on how much you give.... I have high expectations on all of you coz i see you all really enjoyed the times we shared in the O camp, you're going to be just fine for hall..... Add oil~~ Support!!! And dont forget to visit me when you have the chance.

To Leaders: I must apologize for being too 'strict' on you lot. Um.... i guess this is the norm, when a senior see a junior, he just cant stop comparing and pick on the wrong-doings... but frankly, you guys and gals have done more than enough to keep the group together, you guys must be so exhausted by now, please have some more rest after the O camp, you are always my beloved grandson and grand-daughter.

To my fellow nightcores: Well..... let's give ourself some applause. Preventing food poisoning from happening is already our greatest achievement given the mix of nightcores we have this year ^^ Cooking and Cleaning with you guys are great fun (coz we made so many jokes in the kitchen....) Now i can see you all growing up and become grannys of others.... this is one great moment for me coz i feel that i can finally have my share of harvest from my O camp..... the education done at that time and the time spent is well deserved...... let's have more reunion after the O camp la~

It's another year already..... time really flies~

Comlicated...

Too many things...

Too complex.

Too hard to explain.

Or maybe, no explaination is already the best option?

一了百了

"最心痛是　愛得太遲　有些心意　不可等某個日子

最可怕是　愛需要及時　只差一秒　心聲都已變歷史

多少抱憾　多少過路人　太懂估計　卻不懂愛錫自身

縱不信運　你不過是人　理想很遠　愛於咫尺卻在等"

愛得太遲 - 古巨基

Solitaire...

Too tired.

傷信

Today I wrote a letter....

Full of regrets.... the pen is so heavy that i can barely lift it.

To my one and only XGF, Happy Birthday to you.