Day 135

O well.... what must I say about today?

It's a bad day.

The morning parade in the morning isnt too bad.

SSP reassessment.... fucked is the word to go.... but despite all this.... there're still merits....

Must work better next time.

So this is confirmed.... I will have the passing out somewhere in May instead of February.

Still..... anything that doesnt kill me make me stronger. I'll live through it.

Day 134

Another day in misery.

Still, got some ideas as the day went on.

PT in the morning.... maybe it's just been too long since work out and too many food..... must find some time and get back in shape.

OU tutorial and lecture..... sleep, and more sleep.... is it good or bad that this is the final lesson of OU? It's been a large part of police training life but shamefully i dont remember much of if.

During OU and afterschool spent some time on preparing for tomorrow's reassessment.... Just be calm and do the best..... a clear mind and calmness shall suffice.

Not much tonight.... I'd better sleep now.

PS. All the best to test 3... Looking forward to Macau already.

Day 133

Less and less interesting the day goes in school lately.....

Morning, footdrill in the rain....

Lecture afterwards.... struggled to stay awake till my 'official' sleeping time.... was kept up till late the night before for essay/rubbish writing..... slept non-stop through OU class.....

Afternoon, some self study time and a guest lecture on court.... that concludes the day.

Got some extra leadership training with colleagues afterwork.... it's been good... never expected there are so much room for improvement.....

Got an anxiety attack and wanted to get out for a change...... went to Sai Wan at last and ran into Rachel..... some chat, more blathering kept my mind away from the work in school lately....

Looking forward to the dinner reunion next week.

PS. I love the present.... it's more valuable than anything I've received~

Day 132

Test 5 day.

The test result was not too good. No wonder the course instructor was furious about the result.... I have done the best I can.... havent I? I cant stop questioning myself.....

Though this week consist of 4 days only.... but everyday seems like a different kind of challenge.... Monday for test. Tuesday to hand in 2 useless essay on psychology. Wed is a bit better. Thursday is for the make or break leadership reassessment..... now got the test done.... one less hurdle.

The night spent on writing bullshit on paper.... I have no intention to even proof-read my essays cause i knew I will have no idea what I'm writing.... so nevermind......

Now got 2 task out of my head.... I must focus and concentrate on the last part.... I need to play the waiting game now....

God bless.

謝安琪 - 後窗知己

Some feelings

My mood has been fixed at at semi-depression state lately.... Not that I wanted to be this way.... but it's just the stress.... it's overwhelming me....

I used to say 'It's just work....' or 'nothing really matters', but in fact.... is it true? I can totally understand why you'll get mad at notes sometimes.... coz I will do the same if i were you.

I seem.... so out of place everywhere.... be it at work, with friends, or sometimes even at home...

To my beloved fourteenth floor brothers, I'm so sorry I can not make to the gathering, I'm just afraid my presence will spoil the festive feelings.... I hope the next time I see you again I can be the same mikel that you knew.

"難得　有人待我這麼好　如此照料周到　何事我又要讓人　最苦惱" This song keep ringing in my head since reading your blog... Do not let my frustration affect you.... I want you happy.

Time to get back to study now....

Day 131 and Christmas.

Day 131, a visit to mock court....

Nothing much.... the lecture was a bit long-winded.... but not too bad coz I've applied for a leave half-way through the day.......

Got lunch at home, whole family are there for lunch, the last time was some years ago already.

A check up at QMH, nothing new..... to be reviewed again 4 months later~

Meet with Kennon in CWB, it's so crowded there. It's really great to see him again, if I'm not in such a down mood the meeting could have been a great one.... look forward another such meeting soon, when I have all my worries solved.

Silent night... Since everywhere is so crowded, I ended up staying at home..... cooking dinner myself, it's been so long since I cook.... I'm glad you like the food... As the movie "Love Actually" said, Love is actually all around you.... and I feel a lot tonight.

Christmas, Thanks so much for Jeff's invitation, had a wonderful night with buddies at jeff's place... Miss you guys so much....

PS. Finally fixed the date, I shall be out of town from 1st till 3rd of January. A good get-away trip.

Day 130

Ordinary, sleepy day....

Footdrill, followed by OU, guest lectures and stuff..... feeling a constant urge of sleep...

Now feeling the stress of test 5 and assignments.

Christmas celebration in officers' mess tonight.... nothing but a complete waste of time..... i dunno, i've become wordless on many occassion tonight..... too tired lately (both mentally and physically)

I needed a good christmas break.

Thank you for believing me when I'm not even believing in myself.

Make or break chance on next week.... Whether it's Yes, No or Go.... I dunno....

I'm feeling weak.

Day 129

Physically demanding day.

Morning parade, PT and extra PT in the afternoon..... leave me dead as wood.

It's no fun swimming in an unheated pool in a 14C morning.... The icy water gives stabbing sensation to the head but the same time.... it leads to some clarity in mind.....

My current plight is so similiar to situations I've come across before... Year 4 Midterm? Or the self-destruction tendency during Year 5 Final and Patient report time? I must trust in myself..... I can do it.

So sleepy now.... must sleep now.... still got papers to write and notes to read tomorrow.

PS. Thank you for the dinner tonight... I needed that.
PS2. Brother is now back.... must find some time and get back home.

Day 128

Once again... I didnt update last night....

I'm just feeling tired lately.....

I dont know what I should say about my leadership exercise..... just felt.... I didnt perform to the required standard......

All is not lost yet.... but I need to work hard.....

Headache.

Weekend

Weekend was good.

Got IMAX "Avatar" at the new I-Square.... that should be a nice place to hang around should all the shops were opened.....

Movie, good plot, good world view, great CG and effects, good pace, good cast..... what more can I ask for? 9.5 out of 10 at least.

Went for some educational trip to science museum..... it's been so long since I went there..... it was a really fun day~

Dinner at ashley road..... must explore more place with good food.

Sunday.... nothing much.... dont want to work.....

Staying at home, fooling around, watch some TV and at night it's the family dinner..... good to see everyone again~

Now got back in school again..... tomorrow is the big day..... my make or break chance..... but should I be feared? I dunno, I'd rather think simple, just let it be~

Sleep now, shall write again tomorrow.

PS. What happen to this following pharse?? I saw it yesterday... typical chinglish....
"We are apologize for any inconvience cause due to our renovation."

Day 126, Day 127

It's been too lazy for me to put in entries in here these 2 days..... post-hell week syndrome maybe?

Day 126.... Thursday, A visit to Kwai Chung Mortuary..... it's not too bad, especially it's a young mortuary, it's nothing if you have been to Victoria Mortuary in summertime.....

The presentation and autopsy is pretty fascinating..... yet.... shall I persue a career in that field in the future? I dunno..... let's see.

More traffic offence lesson in the afternoon...... sleepy.....

Held up by Mr. Walton afterschool for some extra-exercise..... frankly, if there is no pressure, there's no difficulty at all in the exercise.... must learn how to ease myself in pressing situation.

Night.... spent on writing BS..... I have no idea what I have written.... nevermind, I'll know when the scores are back.

Friday. Sleepy as usual..... footdrill in the morning doing in-line and form squad kind of things.... mark time is tiring.....

OU and more OU..... what better action than to fall asleep to replenish myself?

Dinner went for Japenese buffet with colleagues in CWB..... very full now...

Went for a walk in TST, where are all the christmas decorations located? I cant find them.... please tell me if you have a clue where they are~

Will be in TST again tomorrow for movie, high expectations on IMAX and AVATAR...... let's see..... gotta relax myself before the big day on Monday. Wish me luck.

Day 125

Um.... what should I say about today?

There must be a bit of self-doubt after every failure, looking back, the performance was below my usual standard, I can have no complains, all I need to do is to avoid the same old mistake.

Maybe the failure is a blessing in disguise. At least I can reflect on my weaknesses, and to see who around me is true friends...

I was overwhelmed by paperwork lately..... and the course instructor's 'good intention' turns out to be a big burden for me, as I'm already lacking in time...... what must i do?

PS. The only concern I have is you.... sorry for making you worry. Relax, I will be fine.

I See You - Leona Lewis

I love it already even before seeing it.

Day 124

Okay, hell week is now officially over.

I didnt do too well in the assessment and has failed it.

But nevermind, anything that doesnt kill me makes me stronger.

Look forward to the re-assessment on Monday.

Day 123

Got a lot to write.

This is an ultra-long day.

From the aftermath of yesterday, the tireness is carried till today.

A day spent in Lamma Island.... with sprinting here and there my most common exercise.... simply put, i hate mountains, leave along tall mountains.

Got a chopper ride..... which was cool.... but the time before getting on the chopper is killing..... with all the wind and leaves blown around you, engine noise filled the sky.... I can imagine what the soldier might think everytime before getting on the chopper....

Finally got my exercise assessment..... Was not at my best standard.... But frankly, I dont care... I'm in no mood or mentality to argue now.... just fail me if you see fit, I knew I'll survive somehow.

More exercise at night... physical hardship is not going to defeat me.

Got an interesting topic to write on tonight, "How much I have changed since my first day in Police College." Shame it wasnt finished yet..... maybe I'll find some time (passing out?) and write this on my own.

It's really time to sleep.....

PS. Thanks, I'm with you always.

Hell week.

Hell week started 6 hours ago.

Was a bit lighter than I previously thought.

12 pounds dumbbell run to clearwater bay, stretcher race with a 200+ pounds dummy going back, then followed by exercise.....

Didnt perform too well as 2nd in charge of one exercise..... but still..... I'm not going to think too much. Anything that doesnt kill me makes me stronger. I must remember that.

Must sleep now. Looking forward to chopper ride tomorrow.

PS. Keep in touch through SMS.

Day 122 and weekend.

Day 122....

The swimming in the morning was bad.... the pool was freezing and i cant stop shaking whenever I'm in or out of the water...... Cant imagine the upcoming weeks when i have to practice life safing in even colder temperature.

The afternoon was spent on nothing..... do not want to write essays nor to think about the upcoming exercise.... it's just too much for me.

Saturday, tea with family, some gaming to soothe my nerve before heading out to Kowloon Bay for movie..... unfortunately, the movie "Storm warriors 2" was far worse than expected.... the sequal syndrome? It put too much emphasis on graphics (still, plagarism of classic '300' can be seen everywhere.) and focus too little on the plot..... simply, a story wasted.... I look forward to James Cameron's "Avatar", seen the trailers...... um... should be a good one, especially on IMAX.

Spent some time in IKEA and had dinner there..... Next holiday's travel plan must be planned way ahead to ensure I can get an air ticket.... or shall I get my flying license soon? In that way I can do some 'serious' travelling..... um.... let me dream about that.

I must draw analogy of my exercise team sirs/madams with the Dementor in Harry Potter's series, they both got the ability to sap away all sense of happiness from a person and leave him with nothing but hopelessness and despair...... Shall I start practicing magic soon so that I can ward them off??

Exercise is soon coming.... must get myself familiarised with some laws and take some rest before the real thing..... wish me luck.

Day 121

A day spent in Fanling.

Reason being the lesson of traffic held at the police driving school there.

First half.... sleepy...

Lunch.... lousy.

Second half.... the lecturer was not present.... spent for self study..... but mainly, my mind was focused on upcoming 48 exercise.....

The more I think, the more fearful i get....

I'll just let it be.....

Last night's effort in writing up the death report paid off.... I can finally have a night to sleep earlier..... hopefully I'll be more energertic tmr and can write up my essays during OU class time tmr.

PS. Going out on Saturday?

Day 120

Time is running fast before you know it. It's now already 120 full days since my training.... unfortunate, i started to feel a bit of bored of life in here..... stressed lately maybe? Been fighting with assignments and reports the whole night lately.

Morning Physical training.... first part was okay, on theory of life saving.... but the second part is killing.... jumping into the water and do laps after laps..... still feel the soreness in the thighs.....

OU tutorial, started drafting for the essays..... wrote a little but without real success..... should i go 'dont give a SHXX' and write up some garbage for the requirement? That's easy enough.

OU lecture in the afternoon..... wonderful sleeping time.....

Been kept locked up for too long... time for a change.... sorry i did not have full attention on you for our dinner tonight..... been too busy lately.... i hope you'd forgive me. ^^ I really treasure the time we have together~

Night time, fighting with death report..... It's called death report for a reason, I'm the one who almost died because of it...... luckily, it's now good and ready, one less task left on my mind......

Must get myself well prepared for the upcoming 48 hours challenge.....

Day 119

Another ordinary day (maybe that's because I'm so used to life here.... everyday seems normal now).....

Was still in deep impact from seeing what the exercise team has done to fellow intake colleagues..... must stand firm and be strong next week.....

Morning parade in the morning.... pretty normal stuff... the footdrill afterwards was tough but still bearable... got a lot to learn for preparing the passing out parade (though no guarantee we're going to pass.....)

Revolver course in the afternoon.... dim light, snap shot, 1 second per target.... maybe it's been too long since i handle a revolver.... it seems.... heavy and the trigger is stiff..... the feeling is bad....

Shooting decision test.... um.... pretty interesting things learnt today, especially when facing TASER..... something I'll bear in mind....

Got a short feedback from course instructor regarding my academic performance..... overall, not bad, in the top 5 of my squad now..... but still, need to work hard.....

Evening..... troubled by the death report the whole night.... and leave alone the OU essays.... why is the life here so crowded?

PS. I feel bad when seeing you're tired..... get more sleep~

Day 118

Pretty interesting day.... but also a fully booked, over exhausting, eventful....... and ultra-busy day.....

Got a message from ceci the night before, she seems to be doing quite fine with her nursing duties (quite unlike the person i know from hall..... time really matures people). Gave her a call in the morning and she seems to be doing good, that's good news.

Footdrill in the morning.... nothing much.... Seeing 515 flying the chopper is more of an impact to us... just one week..... and I shall be free afterwards.

Had exercise with walton the whole day..... frankly.... it's a bit useless..... his briefing is not useful as they're common sense..... and the exercise is not dynamic nor hard enough to test the brain.... i dunno..... another afternoon wasted.

Now feeling the 'debts' are piling up.... homeworks, assignments..... blame it on the lazy weekends.... i now have 6000 words and a death report to write, possibly within this week..... gosh......

DO duty again.... what's wrong with the campus or I'm really low on luck..... a snake?? Why? Why me?? It's a total joke~

The night is totally wasted with work.... I just want more sleeping time~

PS. Planning travel is fun.... but is it going to work? 3 days?

Day 117 and weekend

Day 117, a friday.... not a good one, but not bad as well.....

I've applied for a sick leave in order to make myself fully well and getting ready for what's going to happen in the next week.

Have to attend to the government clinic.... it's a bad bad experience..... got to wait there for so long and the consultation only last for..... i dunno... 1 minute? Fortunately I feel okay now even without taking those medications. And the time spent waiting there I use it to chat with the RPCs.... pretty interesting feedback from them regarding life in Police College.

Friday night.... still feeling a bit sick and got home early that night..... sleep, sleep and more sleeping.

Saturday..... nothing much..... wasted another morning. Went out with Horace for a while, all the best to your exam.

Saturday night I went to some unknown territory, running into some people unexpectedly..... Time... is never enough... I'm sending you a guardian so that he can safeguard your sweet dreams ^^

Sunday..... got Monday blues again..... got a bad headache from all the assignments and papers..... sigh.....

PS. Graduation photo, when?

Belated day 116

Alright.... I've done my entries late these 2 days as I'm not feeling too well lately.... Collasping into my bed around 8ish, 9ish.....

The reason I'm free right now as I've applied for a sick leave today.... shall see a doctor soon (though I'm sure he'll say i'm fine and all those BS....)..... i need today to clear up all the works that have been piled up over the last few weeks (eg. assignments etc)

Let's get back to yesterday, the PSUC exercise.... once again, i was not chosen as the commander.... whether they're confident of my abilities or they've simply neglected me, i dunno.... but for myself, i have faith in my own abilities but some practice wont hurt~ Frankly, as an observer for the cases, I can think of many more alternatives and more reasonable approach to solve the problem, but wheter I can do the same while I'm in charge, i dunno, that's something that i need to try out during the hell week.

PS. Sent you my best wishes to your exam. (which should start in 15 minutes.)

Belated Day 115

Was an ordinary day...

Footdrill in the morning.... hot and sweaty...

OU tutorial..... got assignments again.... this will be a very busy period of time.

OU lecture.... sleeping non-stop.

Was fallen ill in the evening... sorry to have you worried so much.... sleeping early and is now feeling better.

I really shouldnt have set my heater to such high temperature.... I was feeling the burning heat when i woke up this morning.... rebirth through fire? Glad I'm alright now.

PS. By tomorrow everything will be fine, just fine.

Day 114.

Muscle still painful from yesterday's exercise.

Morning parade was fine.... getting use to that finally?

Boring lectures followed by even more boring lectures.

My old habit of gaming is kicking in again..... wasted time in the afternoon.

I hate tedious tasks.... how come people can be so inefficient when dealing with minor stuff?

Nevermind.

PS. What happened to your phone?

Day 113.

Mixed feelings towards work.

It's been an exhausting day.

Morning was fine, skipped breakfast for some more sleeping time.... went to visit Eastern Magistracy today.... the judiciary system is quite ineffective, eg. cases got piled up because of no shows.... or lack or translation etc problems..... but since I'm not in that field, I might not be the right person to critise.

Got lunch at McD outside coz I was starving after all the hours in court room.... skipped lunch from the mess too.....

Footdrill..... when was the last time we drilled so extensively? So tired.

PT right afterwards, some shuttle run practice and it's swim/swim and more swim practice.... the wind was chilly whenever i got up from the pool..... totally freezing..... feel good coz my breast stroke is doing better and better, went for three 50m swim and the result, 1'05", 1'01" and 59".... is constantly improving ^^ But still.... it's so tiring experience.

Extra PT by Ho sir..... I have no idea why he'll arrange weights session after we've laxed our muscles in the pool..... hellish training routine with 12 pounds dumbbell on each hand, biceps, shoulder, triceps, quads, inner chest, back and deltoids..... many sets.... i felt that I'm no longer that tough or enduring as before..... at some point, I've seriously considered what on earth am i doing..... but thanks to you, you're my every reason.

PS. Thank you for the 'questionaire'... The best is yet to come :P

Weekend.

Saturday morning was 'taken' away by performing usher duty for the passing out parade of senior squad.... It's been a good show and I'm happy to see them march with pride and happiness.... but still..... I treasure my lovely saturday morning more.....

Went out for lunch and a stay in HKU library... been effective and finished many of my works in those hours...

Dinner in Central, triple-O's burger is awesome... catch a ferry ride across the harbour.... the night scene was fabulous ^^ (and extra attractive as they're rehearsing the light show for East Asian Games that night)

Sunday.... sleepy.... another day where i spent most hours in/on bed..... waking up around noon, lunch, a bit of TV/books/games in my room... and that's about my whole day....

Dinner in causeway bay and now I'm locked up once again in Wong Cheuk Hang... this will be a physically and mentally demanding week, 10 hours of footdrill, 2 PT lessons, and a PSUC exercise shall wear me down considerably...... looking forward to friday and weekend....

PS. Goodnight...

Day 112

Self-imposed physical hardship day.

Morning was PT test again, this time doing the obstacle race PPAT, a 400m track with 6 different tasks to do, did really well this time and finish the course in 1'53"..... I couldnt have asked for more.

Test 4 debriefing..... as expected, losed marks in stupid areas..... well..... everything is a learning procedure.....

OU tutorial..... got no attention on it at all..... but the bad news is.... we're issued with 2 homework to be handed in mid-dec..... gosh.... my precious weekend time is slimming up.....

OU test in the afternoon.... did okay, I'm not aiming for anything this time..... just let it be, and the lecture part was spent sleeping and rejuvenating myself.

Went out alone tonight... first a sudden stop-by at Hall..... glad to see some floormates and shared some happy times with them playing winning eleven in pantry, good old days (though I use to win before).... but this time I'm more and more confident that my assumption was right.... I'm already way too far from hall life... i like the place but I can never treat it as my asylum forever, time to move on.......

McD dinner on the run and went for gym..... i was pretty inspired by my fitness level drop lately and I'm working double-hard hoping to get in shape in time, especially when hell week is approaching...... things will be painful but shall be fine..... anything that doesnt kill me make me stronger (if not invincible).

PS, I want a quiet little place for you and me only..... no disturbance, no other person.... that'd be ideal.

Day 111

One more day in this 'fine institution' (as our course instructor likes to put it)..... Be positive, that means one less day i got to stay in this boring and disciplined place..... I should be cheerful for everyday i spent here, right?

Footdrill in the morning, no matter how many lesson we received lately, our response is always negative..... we are actually drilling worse and worse......

RC exam today, not too bad, head and shoulder above majority of my colleagues.... at least, something that can cheer me up in work lately.

Glad to have time to discuss with CI Walton regarding the OU incident, at least, we know the CI is supporting us... And I'm glad my CI addressed his view for my 'self-doubt' lately.... well.... but i think, in some ways, doubtful in myself will do me good in the long run, at least, i still have to drive to improve myself, knowing what is insufficient of me..... hope this reflection can make me a better police officer.

Night, a heavy dinner..... I can feel my six-pack silently protesting (and they do it in union..... sort of six-become-one.....) Sigh.... I must spent tomorrow night working out or else I'm in big trouble.

PS. What is time? It's something that's never enough when I'm with you.

Billy Joel - Just the way you are

Day 110

Disastrous day....

It's been some while since I actually work-out..... so my performance in today's MFT was bad.... real bad..... I now got 2 weeks before equipping myself for the hell week, will I be able to make it in time??

The afternoon was hit by sleepiness badly..... almost sleeping non-stop through the lessons......

Feeling a bit of stress on the OU test on Friday.... (and the RC exam tmr, PPAT fitness test on Friday morning..... it's simply a week full of exam)

PS. Are you sick or anything? Worried.

Day 109.

Pretty ordinary day, bar the fact that I'm so sleepy that my eye lids kept closing during the day....

Footdrill was normal....

Final revision on RC before exam....

Two useless lectures....

Glad to know that you've done okay for your exercise.

Briefing on hell week..... 14 DEC onwards..... wish me luck.

RC written exam..... feel underprepared.....

Many other tedious test and exam coming up.....

Great to spent to night in CB tonight..... PageOne is always my favourite place to visit... When will the "Lost Symbol" be published in small fonts? I hate the hard cover version >.<"

PS. YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU So full of you lately ^^

Day 108

A rather hea and ordinary day.

Footdrill in the morning..... no mood at all.....

Rushed through 3 lectures in one morning..... that's about 2/3 of lesson from Walton sir~

Afternoon.... beloved self study time..... and a bit of sports too.

It's really crazy..... when temperature rise to 18 degree celcius today.... I feel HOT..... there must be something wrong with my body.

Went out for dinner tonight..... I like starbucks.

PS. Need to sleep la~

Busy weekend.

The mess night on Friday night was fun..... shame I got DO duties on Saturday morning or else I can spent more time there.

Saturday Morning..... waking up in a cold morning only to work as DO..... taking care of every business of Police College for 8 hours..... the work is not too bad, but simply tedious.

Head out in the afternoon and be a dentist for one more time, doing some restorations and scaling.... money was so easy to get back then.... but it's a boring life.... sigh... what a dilemma.

Night spent with Jeff and Lily and Mimi for a dinner, really happy times.

I was wandering in the streets once again tonight.... 2012 was quite good, it might even be better if I wasnt so tired that I slept through some of the parts..... and Yuen Long is a place I seldomly visit...

Fallen asleep on the bus.... I dont know for how long.... I only manage to get home 7 in the morning....

Sunday.... most part of sunday was spent on my bed... as expected. Did some work (still in bed) and head out for dinner..... The Jap food tonight is quite good..... shame we got to get back so early....

Suddenly realize I got another test coming up on Tuesday.... Um.... nevermind, I'll think of ways tomorrow.

PS. It's just work, Relax.

Day 107

Life here is magical, it seems like one day ago when I first had my RC lesson, the next thing I know is I had my last lesson today..... been through revision for all the moves and methods (frankly, I cant remember most of them)..... the next lesson will be the exam.... o well.....

OU tutorial and lecture..... Want to say to the 'respected' tutor, if you want somebody's respect, earn it..... you're not dealing with children, but with capable adults who are allowed to think and treasure freedom of speech and free mind...... Think, will you?

OU exam in the afternoon..... Sociology = water blowing business..... i guess it's alright.

Mess night for PI 514...... looking forward to my passing out dinner..... hope it come soon.

PS. I guess I'm a bit like my mum.... though I dont like her approach, but she have definitely shaped me in her mould..... being overprotective and overcautious.... it's like I'm having a panic attack all the time... just so worried..... I must learn to relax a bit...
PS2. Still.... I miss you much tonight.

Day 106

Footdrill in the morning and PSUC whole day in Stanley.

Once again.... the most difficult part is not the task itself, but interpersonal-relationship.....

Was asked a fairly interesting question tonight, "Who will you shoot if you were given a revolver fully loaded?" Um.... interesting..... and tempting.....

Went for dinner with folks for Clement's departure.... it's a mixed feeling of sweet and bitter.....

OU test tomorrow..... what have I read?

PS. Someone seems unhappy tonight..... what must I do?
PS2. Life in Police College can be quite tense at times..... but remember, there's always a silver lining behind every cloud.

Day 105

Rather ordinary day.


PT session in the morning.... it's been 6 weeks since last PT lesson..... done the JCR test and 2.4 km run.... not too bad, feeling the condition today is real good (maybe it's the cold that drove me to keep running..... just want to finish the track as soon as possible....) the result is okay, considering I've only sparingly work out lately. Jump 30", Chin-up 8, Shuttle run 10X10 22.9secs (that's good improvement) and 2.4 run 10'28" (faster than before)..... I can have no complaint.....


OU in the afternoon...... what a good sleep during class.....


Micellanous exams coming up soon, the first being the OU exam on Friday....

PS. Been flipping through other's Xanga tonight.... it's interesting to know people better from their history...... really, interesting articles I came across tonight...... make me wanna read my entries in Zorpia and Blogspot too~

Day 104

A day of conflict.

Morning parade..... I am the deputy commander.... It can be a frightening experience to stand in front of such a large crowd, and giving command to them..... and the temperature today is so cold..... I cant stop my knees from shaking (literally....)

SSP assessment on leadership exercise, did my best to play the role assigned.... but really, the performance from commander is below par..... no grudge mate, just let it be.....

Revolver course in the afternoon. I never expected an 'inspector' (as they always wear this pharse on their big mouth) can be such irrational and brainless.... why on earth are you putting the blame on me? I dont fight back as I dont want to lose my cool, not because you are right. You should feel lucky that I knew what my missions here are... or else I'll kick your arse bad.

Dinner in causeway bay tonight.... Wildfire, the view is great...... shame time always flies.....

PS. I should find some time and find my cousin Janice.
PS2. It's so chilly lately, dun get cold~ ^^

Day 103

Alright..... what have I done in the weekend?

Nothing much..... cant focus on my revision.... end up going back to HKU library for study....

Decent dinner in Sai wan, my favourite place.... the 'SoHo' feeling restaurant..... shame we got to get back so early.....

It's such a windy and chilly night.

Test 4 on Monday, when I finish the paper i feel rather confident.... only when the result is released my heart is in frozen water..... 65.5 and I rank almost the last few in class..... shame.... but i really did my best to answer..... I dunno.... is it my ability? Cant stop self-questioning.....

Nonetheless.... still go out for Hot pot as dinner..... this seems to be our usual way of celebrating all pass..... the food is bad but the atmosphere is good.....

PS. Feels like '2012' lately.... the world is collapsing and I'm in the middle of it..... Time is what i needed most.

Day 102, and weekend.

Friday.... my last day as prefect.... all went okay.

Woke up early in the morning... but still.... no study done.... there's nothing on earth more important than listening to your voice...

My day was spent worrying for the 'notebook' incident..... hopefully it's all over now.

Self study and OU lessons is the best time for revision....

Friday night.... want nothing but to leave the place as soon as possible..... hanging out in my familiar surrounding of HKU, PPDH and Sai wan...... too bad I got to run early.....

Meeting with Kathy and Jonathan that night..... Glad to know things are patched up a bit now..... but still...

Old friends got reconnected tonight... I should be happy.

Saturday... nothing much.... feeling lazy....

A good time spent with grandma tonight.... sometimes.... you just need to take a bit of time out from the busy schedule and care for the people around you...

I pray and will keep praying for my dear sister~

Revision.... I hate revision...

My head is full of you...

Day 101

Dunno why but when summing up today's work I feel some anger within me.... got pissed by a bunch of my selfish and good for nothing classmates..... when can they grow up? (And it's always so unfair in here as the evil-doers receive no punishment..... what a world)

Calm down, I must use this opportunity to train up my EQ.

Rather exhausting day. Inspection parade in the morning and the whole squad is in trouble because of our instructor's fault.... and now he demand an explaination..... what can I say? Just let it be.....

Interesting video during lecture, on autopsy..... it's such brilliant surgical skill but shamefully my mates dont appreciate that..... come on, it's just a part of the job...

PSUC exercise in the afternoon..... once again..... see some negative example on how to be a leader, this acts as a good reminder to me, never ever to act the same way as they do.

Another night spent on nothing..... but I'm loving it.

PS. 0600..... what a challenge....

Day 100

Wow.... that's some progress.... I've worked for 100 days for my current job (this is also the longest period of employment in my life to-date, considering I've two short stay under different dentists).... hopefully this shall be a long career.

Once again, feeling the stress of being prefect of the intake and with exam looming closer and closer......

Spent everybit of OU time for study..... progress is not bad, but still gotta work hard. Things shall get better after the room inspection tomorrow, when I can free more time for study instead of cleaning.

Must sleep now. Later.

PS. I found the note on the candy, the same applies to you too ^^
PS2. Bei sum gei ar~~ Full support to you, commander =P

Day 99.

What should I say about today?

Nothing much..... most of the training time is spent on tedious administrative work as prefect than actual training.... shame.

Got a rehearsal for SSP inspection in the morning, night was spent tidying my room.... I can think of no reason why people like such 'artificial' procedures..... telling when you need an inspection and you work on it..... can this really train people to have self discipline? I doubt. But fine.... just play the game.

Feeling stress for study now.

I'm going to be dentist for one more day on 21st, anyone interested in being my patient?

*2.... the reason i hate tedious tasks is they ate away my precious free time..... time's so precious here and i must squeeze every bit of it to be with you.

周杰倫-浪漫手機

Day 98 *1~

Life back to normal (even back to hell) after euphoria 1 day ago.

Is the intake prefect for this week..... with an incompetent and arrogant precedssor, my duty as prefect is much much harder...... but nevermind, anything that doesnt kill me makes me stronger, I shall just treat that guy as a pathetic loser......

Overwhelmed by admin stuff and paper work lately...... i hate that when all these works cramp in and eat into my should-be self study time......

Tough luck today.... my mobile phone finally gave in after all the torture I've done to it.... He's resilient and fail to let me retrieve any single phone number from it...... good job..... I can only contact my friend through my 'memory' phonebook. (I've bought a Nokia as replacement, originally I'm aiming for N97..... but gotta wait for 2 weeks before they have stock, so i've switched for... Nokia 1650, dont know what that is? Check it out, it's a real value....... hopefully I dont need to use it for too long)

Very tired now, another day of footdrill and prefect duties await..... must sleep now.

PS. *1! Looking forward.

Corrinne May - Safe In A Crazy World

Sunday.

Sunday... an ineffective day.

Futile effort..... end up with very little study done....

Getting back to Police College at night... Overwhelmed by the upcoming prefect duties.... big headache....

In a sea of troubles, you keep me together, you're the reason of everything.

Thank you.

Operation Report

2009-11-08 0023hrs

Covert intended, but turns out overt.

Mission, fulfilled.

"To the World you maybe somebody; But to me, you are my world."

Forever Love.

Day 97 and weekend

Friday, what can I say about this friday? Nothing much.... just boring..... OU tutorials and lecture wasted the whole day.....

It's always good to meet with friends, especially with Jo and Garfield, and Jo's brother..... shared a lot of laughters and i wish Jo's bro all the best in the PC selection.

Grandma was back from Toronto and the morning was spent with family in having tea and did some shopping, I was on a shopping spree (luckily my purchase is not expensive). Originally I wanted to spent the afternoon for either work out or revision.... turns out I'm just too sleepy and took a nap.... it's refreshing but..... I'm running out of time.

Night..... spent in TST, lovely seaview.

Day 96

A heavy day.

Heavy not only because of lack of sleep last night....

But today it's the big day for some of my mates here in doing leadership exercise....

Frankly, some of them are doing above their own average and the flow is good...... but still..... one didnt make the passing mark...

On the countrary, some are obviously below par but I have no idea why he can still lay blame on others.... What a loser.....

A very gloomy day today.... all the best everyone.

Time to sleep now..... it's been a while since i get to bed before midnight.

Gotta work hard tomorrow for revision.

PS. Looking forward to Saturday.

Lecture?

Thank goodness our class is not like this in Police College.

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor

I dedicate this song to the exercise team of college.

I'll survive.

Day 95

Is suffering from post pre-hell syndrome.....

Only get the bare minimum of sleep last night, was so reluctant to wake and report on duty.... I've decided to skip breakfast to have some precious 20 minutes of sleep. Luckily the morning footdrill was cancelled and I can get some more time for rest.

The morning went okay, just some lecture and RC lesson..... can still manage to stay alive..... but the OU lecture in the afternoon was....... nevermind, did I even attend that class? The only thing I remember was the constant snoring from my colleagues and even myself..... Classic example of total collapse.

Some colleagues are going to have the leadership exercise redo tomorrow and also the day for pre-planned exercise, though I'm not the commanding officer in these case I've still fulfilled my responsibility and attended their mock practice and as a participant at night...... Well.... wish them luck tomorrow and everyone good show.

Really gotta sleep now ^^

PS. Somebody was born 21 years ago..... A great happy birthday and may all your wish come true this year~
PS2. Hope you like the present. Take care and good night =)

Day 94

Day 94 is such a long day.... if i havent fixed my numbering system i'll certainly put it as 2 days..... coz it's so eventful.....

Start off with Range course in the morning..... 42 bullets, quick successive firing and a test on moving target.... not performing good in the first 2 round but the old problem of unstable mentality get the better of me in the last few rounds.... um.... I feel I'm improving as I can appreciate my own technique more, but still need more practice.

After lunch got Tactics exercise..... the Ssgt Jimmy was quite a good teacher, he clarified some important points on handling dangerous suspect and let us have hands on practise to reinforce our learning, i was acting as the commander twice in the afternoon, learned some valuable knowledge that might save my arse someday.

The 'secret-not-so-secret' Pre Hell again.... I was feeling tired even before the night.... tonight it's less physical demanding than last time, we only do footdrill for 3 hours, but mentally.... it's torturing..... got some 'leadership game' done (with a brief dinner) and then we're asked to stare at some CCTV for observation purpose and record all that happened.... sometimes it's so quiet that you wonder if you've stared into a photo.... but sometimes ppl jamming in and you'll have a hard time...... so sleepy but dare not to sleep..... crazy.

Finally a mini-exercise concludes that day...... my feeling overall on this... well, that's life..... I dont like it.... but i do not have a chance, this is so true in police life...... and always prepare for the unexpected.....

I'm so tired now.... need to sleep.

PS. You can always think of ways to surprise me.... I'm so glad to see you tonight.

PS2. My secret..... is it still a secret?

Robbie Williams - Better Man

Once again....

Feeling myself need to learn....

Learn to let go....

Learn to get rid of indecisiveness...

Learn to be myself...

Learn to dare...

Learn to share...

And most important,

Learn to love.

Day 93.5

I count this day as 93.5 as last friday was at most a half day.....

Today was quite an eventful day, morning drill followed by PSUC 6...... feeling the stress of the exercise as the required standard for passing the exam was raised so high up...... i'm still in a transitional period to incorporate what I've learnt into real action.....

As expected, I'm the commander for one case today..... but also unexpected (but usual) that I'm the first commander to do exercise..... my brain cant function too well in the morning, was a bit slow when doing briefing but things went better as time passed by..... handled a child abuse + DV case and prevented a suicide attempt...... no major mistake but still, got a lot of (negative) feedback from sirs and madam..... nevermind, that's the path to learn.....

My colleagues were having a tougher time than me. Out of 6 exercises, apart from mine, 1 was not performed too good and the other 4 were failed...... gosh, we really need to work on it.

Had a brief dinner and then went for night exercise, this time as observer seeing how the RPCs work..... the case is straight forward but nonetheless, there's a lot to learn......

1. Use your heart when dealing with cases
2. Find cause for everything
3. Obtain details in everything
4. Clear all doubts
5. Use your resources well

This list can go on and on..... but in short, these are the basics and fundemental, they're not too hard as long as you use your heart and common sense.

Really exhausted tonight..... gotta let my brain rest now..... looking forward to range course tomorrow.

PS. Thank you for the dessert.

Avril Lavigne - I will be

Weekend.

Who can judge right from wrong?

Certainly I'm not the right person to do so.

Was confused of what happened between my friends last night... maybe I'll never know.... but it's giving me enough frustration and headache.

Can reasoning solve all problems? Even emotional ones? I doubt that.

Thank you for listening to my worries when I'm troubled. Please forgive me for being so pessimistic.... but it's been too eventful and I'm slow to react and adapt.... things will get better someday soon, hopefully.

It's been a long weekend and it'll be a long week coming up.... I need to be in my best shape.... better sleep soon.

Green Day - She's a Rebel

Not quite day 93 and weekend.

Day 93 is not a meaningful day.

Whole day spent on swimming gala, which I didnt take part..... Did nothing much but to watch and occassionally napping......

Night was a bit better, having a BBQ with colleague inside the college.....

Went out like a night drifter in causewaybay..... I missed the days when I'll go feed the cats once in a while in Victoria Park. Absolutely tired and sleep non-stop and missed a few calls.

Saturday, wake up only around 4pm ( But it's good to know somebody wake up even later than me)...... Head out for gym in causewaybay once again and later in the night dinner with friends..... sharing with them what happened lately...... we've picked up our usual habit of buying drinks and head to victoria park for mini-party kind of stuff....... but this time it's quite an eventful night as my friends become drunk while I'm sober..... I can only convince myself my training is effective and imposed with a reason..... to escort some drunk people from the park to Pak Sha Road, where I can dump them in a cheap motel room...... sigh.... I dunno.... gotta check with them again tomorrow...... (btw, I think I deserve many meals from them because of this favour..... I think dinner and dessert buffet is not a bad option.)

Gotta sleep now, later....

Day 92

Another routine day.... as i said on tuesday, this week is effectively over after tue morning.....

Nothing but OU lesson the whole day.... got examed on psychology.... not too bad, but the writing of chinese character is the most difficult part.

Happy Hour at night..... it's been joyful. Our acupella was quite good actually.

Have dinner with squadmates in aberdeen..... always fun to have such people around you.

It's hard and harder everyday to keep secret..... what must i do?

紀念日 - 陳慧琳, 馮德倫, 雷頌德

平淡之中找一些特別日期
憑藉特別日期更加的想你
沉實之中寫一些浪漫傳奇　並儲起
要永遠記起你我哪裡愛起
平淡之中找一些特別日期
在這特別日期慶祝得到你
無論要幹什麼　時日並你一起　也是美

Day 91

Another routine day.

Morning Resistance Control course, followed by OU tutorial and OU lecture.

Simply waste of life.

Start to feel nervous for tomorrow's psychology exam..... but FXXK it...... I'd rather sleep well and take care of it tomorrow.

She's Got You High - Mumm-Ra

Track from (500) Days of Summer.

She's got you high and you don't even know yet
She's got you high and you don't even know yet
It's the search for the time before it leaves without you
Have you lost your mind or has she taken all of yours too?
Whats this about? I figured love would shine through
We've lost romance this world has turned so see through
Open your mind, believe it's going to come to
Romance alive and hope she's going to tell you

Day 90

After the long weekend, it's great to have time to charge up again.

Monday spent on nothing but sleep.

Good to know that Liverpool beat Manure by 2:0..... title chance? Dunno, but definitely maybe.

Tuesday, Morning parade, turned to the wrong side at the start..... funny scene to see shocked faces.... fortunate enough not to be punished for that.

After the morning parade, this week is effectively over, just some lectures and OU, more OU and OU classes...... simply a waste of time.

Range course in the afternoon...... real fun to do snap shooting with shoot and non-shoot target, shame i discharged one bullet too late that it was counted non-hit or else I'll have a perfect record (the grouping today was not bad, but can still work on that further)

Got pissed by a squadmate lately, frankly, i should thank him coz he really pisses me off bad and apart from beating the shit out of him, I wanted to let him know only the best runs the show here, a good police officer isnt done by saying so, but from the result at the end of the day..... He'd better be in the same league as me or else that'd be a joyless competition.... New drive for good performances.

Everything going good lately, I'm just glad to realize that.

(500) Days of Summer.

"This is a story of boy meets girl. But you should know up front, this is not a love story."

"People don't realize this but loneliness... It's underrated."

"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life."

Brilliant movie.

Autumn, I've just seen a face.

Head over heels.

Do you believe in astrology?

I do.

I hope everything they say is true.

I want a time machine, so that I can go back in time.

I want to know you.

陳奕迅 - 時光倒流20年

周杰倫 - 星晴

Je t'aime...... change.

Love make all persons alike.

I love,

I miss,

I longed for...

Kinder Bueno.

Day 89

An easy day.

PSUC exercise in the morning..... nothing much..... got nothing to do.....

OU exam in the afternoon...... surely to have passed after finishing the MC part, the long questions was for bonus only, anwser just for fun~

Nothing beat a good burger and late night dinner.

Gotta sleep now.

Day 88

I hate bureaucracy.....

Especially when you're confined for something that you've put in effort to remedy, but owing to unfriendly attitude from some (stupid, arrogant) staff and bureaucracy, your effort is futile and you're awarded with punishment you dont deserve.....

What does this imply? Never let any of the (unrelated, stupid, couldnt-care-less) people stand in your way and deter you from doing what you need to do, or indeed, what you think you should do......

That's a lesson.

Morning parade was okay, unlikely auidence popped up today too~

OU tutorial and more OU time wasted....

One lecture in the afternoon and now it's another k in the pocket..... should i be glad?

A bit worried about tomorrow's PSUC exercise and OU exam..... must sleep now and wake early to prepare myself.

Time seems to zap by so quickly everytime we talk... I'm dazzled.

明明很愛你 - 梁靜茹 品冠

Day 87

Training resumes normal again....

Morning footdrill..... slight sweating even in such mild temperature.

Range course today is good..... shooting at night is not too much of a problem to me, but the left and right barricade is a bit of problem (especially the other's revolver so close to me, i cant move too much).... but i can have no complain on scoring full marks.

OU lecture in the afternoon..... Did nothing but sleep..... the course is too boring and simply a waste of time.....

Extra footdrill afterwork.... all for tomorrow's preparation.

I'm sleeping late again..... but it's a joyful conversation.... life in police college is too packed.... can seldomly find free time available without sacrificing something.... it's sleep time that suffers now....

Day 86

A day of mo liu ness.....

Only one lecture in the whole day, afternoon was for self study, nearly got busted for watching VCD..... close shave.

Dinner with friends and co...... great night..... hope you guys werent too fed up with the chicken(s) i ordered.

Dessert time again.... it's been a good night.

Must sleep now..... till tomorrow then.

Day 85.

A day which I feel tried most of the time.

Woke up early only to find the morning drill has been cancelled.

Exercise in the morning..... committed some mistake in my position, I was partly to blame.... bad experience today = good experience in future..... I can only soothe myself this way.

Long lectures in the afternoon..... struggle to stay awake.

Went for a brick hill run..... the hill under the cable car in Ocean Park.... it's almost a must for the lead actor to run in every police-related TV drama.... I have the opportunity to do it today..... not a bad experience..... at certain point you're not running with your body, but with your mind..... the pain is excruciating in the quads and hamstring, but you just follow your mate and keep running, using your mind to overcome physical hardship, it works.... finish the course in 18'26", looking forward to next one already.

Dinner and dessert, reminds me of the days in hall~

陳奕迅 - 冤氣

Sunday.

Slept till late on sunday.

A bit of reading in the evening.

Was in a bad mood but I was being stupid, never knowing my phone cannot receive SMS when the inbox is full (full means 3000)... okay.

I guess I need a new phone soon.

Looking forward to Tuesday, Wanna meet with Lo Kai, Dan, Alv and Jeff (and Lily as well).

Bon Jovi - We Weren't Born To Follow

Saturday

Worked hard on saturday, but not on formal business.

I've spent 16 hours on something totally not related to my training.....

But still...... it's nice and I'm loving it.

Day 84

Friday and another week has passed by.

Once again, nothing too much lately.

Morning footdrill for 1 hour, then it's my beloved range lesson again. Made a mistake when deciding to shoot or not in the mini-range, but it's still good experience. Fired 36 rounds in the indoor range, moving target and covered target, feeling my shooting skill is rather inconsistent.... Can at times make the bullet go all around the world.... but sometimes if I concentrate I can get a 2 inch grouping...... really need to work on that.

Lunch time people gathering in my room for a 'picnic'.... reminds me of the days in hall.

OU lecture in the afternoon. As I always said, the lecture is useless, so today when the PIs were assigned as moderator, we actually teach the course much better than that less than nothing lecturer, the response after our teaching is much positive.... that's good~

Dinner with Issac and colleagues for Issac's birthday.... we got the dinner theme of 'High energy, high cholesterol and high fat", we started with dessert first and then a chinese restaurant in San Po Kong, good food there, the arcade game in diamond hill afterwards was great too.... didnt expect my colleagues are such crazy about games~~

Even later, had a short chat with Yvonne and Issac..... we've covered so much on our thoughts about the squad and etc.... Previously I always thought I'm in the Police College just for training, but now, I have a slight sense that I can make some good friends there too~ I'm pleased.

Going back home around midnight..... had a phone chat while sitting outside my home's main entrance.... continue to chat after going home..... I feel really old... I can no longer stay up the whole night.... but still, it's been really pleasurable.

Saturday, now working on my project..... Estimate Time of completion tomorrow? Hopefully~

Day 83

Another ordinary day.

The footdrill in the morning is disastrous.... luckily the weather lately is more tolerable.....

OU tutorial afterwards..... still as useless as before.

OU lecture in the afternoon, probably we have pissed off too many RPCs with our snacks and loud voice, we received complaints from them and was in deep trouble, my original plan of sleeping all the way through it couldnt be carried out, instead, I had struggled to stay awake for the whole 4 hours lecture..... darn.... Can they offer a course that's some more challenging than these stupid stuff?? Simply waste of my time.

Keep on feeling ill..... my bronchus now got infected..... I can feel the heat and the sputum there.....

Was grilled by my colleagues during dinner time tonight.... Am i being too overt?

Nevermind..... I needa sleep.

Day 82

Another day, another k.... (k stands for thousand.....) frankly, money is not the main motivation here, but knowing that there is one thousand earned from today is a good bonus.

Nothing too much today, lecture in the morning, Preplanned exercise 3 with RECCE in aberdeen (I'm not commander this time.... got nothing much to do) and the afternoon was spent on the OU lectures again....

Earning money like today is a really good thing to do (compared to yesterday's hard work)

Got the time to go out and shop for grocery in Park'N shop...... fruitful return. Now my room is well stocked with food and drinks~

Show parade once again..... I still hate that, but compared with confinement I'll definitely choose the former.

Got a chat in TV room..... shame the disturbance is too much....

Theft is good..... courage is in my heart.....

Nevermind what I'm talking..... I really gotta sleep, in my "tidy" room (I've spent my night cleaning it well)...... till tomorrow.

Goodnight everyone~

Day 81

Feeling the virus kicking in inside my body.

Feeling irritation in my throat constantly today, mild imflammation with nasal membrane swelling, typical signs of URTI..... just hope situation is not going to worsen these few days.

Morning Parade, was drilled to a point my brain was empty but a big question of 'why the FXXK am i there' was left.... horrible.... not to mention the 2 nights of 'show parade' because my cap batch was slightly malaligned..... WTF?

Lecture afterwards.... nothing but sleep-through....

Handled a federal gun in the afternoon, quite fun, but practically, I dont feel I'll use it much.

Took a nap in the evening, skipping dinner.... the 2 hours of sleep is a real life safer......

People around me seems to have fallen asleep too.... take care~

It's now time to sleep, till later then~

Day 80

Once again, I only manage to sleep till late.....

Today was a busy day, morning footdrill, lecture and then with more lecture and extra drill after work..... what can i say..... feeling sleeping the whole time today.

Why am I always the latest in the corridor to sleep? Something I knew it's not right but nonetheless I'm doing everyday. (I somehow enjoyed it a bit)

I missed the days in hall, where I can sleep till late, only wake up in the evening and watch the magic moment and then chat, chat and chat till dawn and consider skiving all classes.... those were the days......

It's been a wonderful conversation tonight. Chatted for so long till both of our cells were out of battery..... it's been..... 5 hours? I dunno..... but it's good.

Feeling a bit of sore throat now.... hope by tmr it'll be gone......

Take care, work hard, all the best, and good night.

Sunday.

Did nothing the whole day today.

I need a break.

Dessert tonight is good.

Life is okay.

Finished all the chores in Police College, it's late now, but it's finished.

I earned my sleep now. Till later.

Saturday.

From the sake last night, i woke up with some rough feelings.....

But still, it's always cozy to stay at home.

Hea till 3 in the afternoon then head out to W hotel for tea with Winnie and co. Good fun.

Went for 'Australia Milk Company' for the famous fried egg before heading for gym.....

It's like obsessive compulsive disorder, but for the job requirement, i really needed to work out.... If i have to do it no matter what, i will do it in positive way.... working out with passion radiating (that's somewhat over exaggerated, but I'm happy).... feel good.

It's so hard to find a friend for drink in mong kok tonight...... not that i dont have much friend.... but my friends are too occupied with important stuff.... shall I be happy or sad?

It's funny feeling when you know a person is doing the same thing in the same place as you do, but you didnt see that person... that happened tonight.....

Better sleep now..... I'm tired.....

Sweet dreams everyone~

Day 79.

Another week has passed.

Today it's the first time we do footdrill with the RPCs..... plenty of room for improvement....

The OU tutorials and lectures is an endurance test to fight sleep...... just crazily tired whenever the lecturer speak..... WTF?

But TGI Friday..... I now have 2 days of my own~

Went for gym afterwork.... my performance is still..... bad..... gym use to be fun for me but now it's getting more and more like some chores.... but still, these are essential.... um..... not a good feeling~

Had a crazy dinner with colleagues at CB, Japanese style buffet, lots of sashimi and sake..... even i feel a bit tipsy..... but the night was so much fun~

PS. 戀愛頻率... nice~

職系架構問題?

政府再一次就紀律部隊「職系架構問題」開大會,各個部門紛紛發言…

海關 : 我哋「輯毒」同「輯私」工作,跟警察一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟警察一樣。
入境處 : 我哋打擊「非法入境者」同「過期居留人士」,跟警察一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟警察一樣。
消防處 : 我哋經常都要「救人」,跟警察一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟警察一樣。
懲教署 : 我哋每曰都要「面對罪犯」,跟警察一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟警察一樣。

當警察部代表想發言時,旁聽人群裡面一啲非紀律部隊人員突然「搶咪」…
食環署 : 我哋日日都要處理「阻街」,跟警察一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟警察一樣。
社會福利署 : 我哋不時都要處理「家暴問題」,跟警察一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟警察一樣。
環保署 : 我哋成日都要處理「噪音問題」,跟警察一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟警察一樣。
運輸處 : 我哋每日都要「管制交通」,跟警察一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟警察一樣。
勞工處 : 我哋時時都要處理「勞資糾紛」,跟警察一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟警察一樣。
差餉物業估價署 : 我哋都要處理「租務糾紛」,跟警察一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟警察一樣。
民航處 : 我哋要處理「空難」,跟警察一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟警察一樣。
海事處 : 我哋要處理「海難」,跟警察一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟警察一樣。

好不容易,個「咪」避過建築署、水務署、康文署、機電工程署而傳返警察部代表時,在旁正在幫與會各人斟水嘅「打雜」阿姐,突然一手搶過支「咪」,望住警察部代表講:「睇嚟你嘅工作跟我一樣,所以薪金應該都要跟我一樣。」

紀律部隊就「職系架構」問題開大會,開會途中…

警察部 : 我有嘢做,要走先啦。
海關 : 我知,你一定係去「輯毒」。
警察部 : 星期一做過,今日唔知洗唔洗做。
海關 : 我知,你一定係去「輯私」。
警察部 : 星期二做過,今日唔知洗唔洗做。
入境處 : 我知,你一定係去拉「非法入境者」。
警察部 : 星期三做過,今日唔知洗唔洗做。
入境處 : 我知,你一定係去拉「過期居留人士」。
警察部 :星期四做過,今日唔知洗唔洗做。
消防處 : 我知,你一定係去「救人」。
警察部 : 星期五做過,今日唔知洗唔洗做。
懲教署 : 我知,你一定係去「看守犯人」。
警察部 : 星期六做過,今日唔知洗唔洗做。
海關 : 嘅然你無咩特別事要做,不如坐低「打下牙鉸」先。
警察部 : 我都想,不過我哋就算無特別嘢做,都要負責喺條街度巡邏。
入境處 : 咩叫「巡邏」呀?辛唔辛苦得過我哋「吸印」呀?有無冷氣嘆嘅先?
消防處 : 我就覺得打排球辛苦啲。
教署 : 望住啲犯仲辛苦呀。

就喺各人「你一言我一語」時,警察部代表已經聽咗三個電話…

警察部 : 我有嘢做,趕住走啦。
海關 : 有無咩幫手呀? 嘅然要求一樣人工,你做咩,我做咩。
入境處、消防處、懲教署 : 講得啱!
警察部 : 咁就好啦,剛才我接咗三個Call,「兇殺」、「持鎗行劫」、「黑社會劈友」。
海關、入境處、消防處、懲教署 : ………………

此時,警察部代表電話又響…
消防處 : 我哋繼續開會。
入境處 : 講到邊度?
海關 : 跟警察薪金一樣。
懲教署 : 阿姐,麻煩你斟一斟水。四杯夠啦,收咁隻杯。
打雜阿姐 : ………………………………

警察部代表離開後,海關、入境處、消防處 、懲教處繼續就紀律部隊「職系架構」問題開大會,在中途 toilet break 期間,四名代表分佔四個尿兜…

海關 : 你哋知唔知我幾勁呀,『星期一』我去西環「輯毒」,個毒犯有機關槍同手榴彈架。
入境處 : 我都唔差,『星期三』我喺重慶大廈發現到十幾個「非法入境者」,重個個拎刀打算反抗拘捕。
消防處 : 我夠醒啦, 『星期五』尖沙咀場大火,係我發現有可疑架。
懲教署 : 唓,你哋見過頭號通輯犯「歡哥」未?我『星期六』先至比佢打咗拳,佢仲話要同我隻揪呀。

突然,「打雜」阿姐喺厠格行出,望住仲痾緊尿嗰四個人…
「打雜」阿姐 : 咁你地最後點樣處理呀?
海關、入境處、消防處、懲教署 : 揾警察做囉!
「打雜」阿姐 : ………………………………
海關 : 係喎,依度好似係男厠嚟喎,你仲咩係度?
「打雜」阿姐 : 仲咩係度?你哋疴完啲「屎屎尿尿」唔係有我幫你哋執手尾做清潔,你哋邊有疴得咁舒服。仲走埋一齊「咇哩叭啦」,「人加你加」。
海關、入境處、消防處、懲教署 : ………

海關 : 我哋一陣去邊度食飯?懲教署 : 鵝頸橋鷄記吖,嗰到啲菠蘿鷄出名呀。
消防處 : 嗰厠所咁煙嘅?係唔係火燭?
「打雜」阿姐 : 依啲唔係煙,係霧,仲要係大嗰隻。你哋一入厠所就出現啦。縮腳!
入境處 : 整污漕我對鞋啦,平時我著住佢淨係踩地毯咋。
之後,四個人繼續開會,議提係「薪金要跟警察一樣」。

I dont like the tone of this writing, but still, some facts of life are reflected there.

Day 78

My soul is still, in constant state of unrest.... with age progressing, my patience is decresing year by year..... i just want an answer......

Training went to a plateau stage now...... it's not a good feeling especially when you find you cant progress despite the effort put in, i dun know how long will i stay like this but I'm optimistic I'll reach higher after this plateau, always keep faith and put in effort.

English course for the whole day, not too useful, but nonetheless an entertaining one......

I look forward to weekend already..... I want to get back to hall as well~

Day 77

Today it's relative (really) light compared to yesterday.

No footdrill in morning as it's raining.

OU tutorial is a place for blathering and BS-ing.

PT staff has been kind to us, only some light stretching today.

OU lecture in the afternoon, sleeping like hell.....

The difference between Heaven and Hell in 48 hours.

Would love to sleep soon. Later then.

PS. The week has unofficially ended.... coz the remaining lectures are useless.....

PS2. Want to think of something fun to do in the weekend.... anyone interested?

Day 76.

Never assume anything and it's every police officers' karma to expect the unexpected.

Footdrill in the morning.

PSUC exercise 5...... my case as 2nd in charge didnt run too well as some decisions were made incorrectly....... but still..... got time to improve. Looking forward to the next one (where I'll have a very high chance to be the commander)

Endured the whole day in the hills doing exercise, and at 1733, we received instruction to turn out at 1745 for further training (a preparation for hell week)....... did 2 hours of PT and then do some more pre-planned exercise, we ended up on the 'terrorist' side (terrorist as we are terrible, LOL) The plan went smoothly until the very last escape..... it's a shame, but nonetheless a good experience.

So tired now as I only report off duty at 11ish.... and I'm not having enough sleep lately these nights..... must get some more rest before I collaspe (especially tmr's footdrill will be 3 hours and ? hours afterwork......)

Sometimes, a word of encouragement is all that needed...

Goodnight~

Day 75.

A day of good news. But let me concentrate on work first.

Work, pretty much as usual today. Footdrill in morning and a short lecture. Then it's whole day spending in the range doing moving target and Run-draw-shoot. My marksmanship is getting worse and worse with every course..... seems like i'm too use to the gun now and some of my bad habit are coming out subconciously...... must get rid of those soon.......

No extra PT after work and i took the opportunity to head out to CB to meet with 2 AO.... Kennon, Administrative Officer and Jackie, Ambulance Officer..... it's been so much fun and the chinese food tonight is great...... thanks pal for the wonderful evening.

Sidenote, J' got engaged, congrats to him~ Cant wait for his wedding~

I love dessert... it's been such a wonderful conversation with you tonight, shame the time in police college is so restricted but i believe we'll have the chance for such conversation again..... looking forward~

Tomorrow when I open my eyes it'll be a bright new day.

Day 74 and weekend.

My soul is in constant unrest lately.

Not necessarily a bad thing.... I didnt have such feeling for 3 years already.... it's like, so full of energy at some time but completely lack of it a moment later... the feeling of rich and poor at the same time... so unsure but yet feel a sense of security in all the chaos...

It's a good sign, isnt it?

Day 74 gone by in a complete holiday mood. Morning footdrill, one lecture on information security, I had a feeling that if my brother is doing the lecture he'd be much better than the lecturer i had that day~ The OU lecture in the afternoon, as usual, sucks.

Happy hour in Mess with all other people, great hanging out with some colleagues and Fok sir, my PT teacher.

Friday night took the opportunity to meet with Kennon.... free time are more precious than before and i'm glad we both can share a bit of time that night. I always admire kennon as he's so analytical and logical, something that i eager to learn.... the chat with him is great, i feel so much rejuvenated afterwards (possibly because life in here is just too boring)

Saturday, head for early tea with family, and then do a bit of shopping and i head for gym, it's been some weeks since i work out.... even after all these exercise in the college, my performance in weights actually drops, eg. my bench press drop from 85 to 80.... the training here focus too much on cardiovascular and endurance, while ignoring strength..... i must keep working out in my free time such that i dont lose all the hard-earned muscle.

A nap later on saturday evening, dinner and then finished 'Gran Torino' by Clint Eastwood, good movie.

Sunday is for rest and SMS.... did a bit of shopping (for snacks) and head back to college......

Another long week awaits..... must sleep now.

Day 73 and 10.1

Day 73, another idle day..... coz the DMI was spent rehearsaling for 1st October ceremony (while we get free time)..... went to the track for a run, 4.8km..... muscles are still sore but bearable.

A very long lecture afterwards, Meetings and Processions...... this module must work harder.....

OU Lecture..... another chance for sleep.

Leave FTC the first thing after work..... I was in anger after waiting in the rain for 1 whole hour for taxi..... i eventually switched for bus and was trapped in traffic for another hour to causewaybay..... totally crazy.

The night spent with Alf, Alv, Jeff, Kenny and Sin sir for hot pot (much better quality than the day before.... and much more expensive too).... during the time we have so deep discussion on identity of LaSallian, boys of courage and daring, how to be a good boss, goals and everything related or unrelated..... absolute awesome~

A drink with Jeff afterwards.... It's seldom of me seeing him like this, he used to be my 'mentor' of some sort..... but the roles have switched a bit lately. Still, I wish him all the best and hope we'll have the chance to work together soon~

Even later that night, Kat, Sally, James and Jon (and his friends..... ><) It's been a while and it's always good to spend time with friends......

My relationship with family is getting worse and worse, what must I do?

Idle day at home... watching TV is kind of fun.... how pathetic....

Started Clint Eastwood's "Gran Torino"..... quite good in the start, shame i didnt have time to finish it.... hopefully in the weekend.

A Burger King dinner in TV room, my favourite (food part only).... It's a nice conversation with Mimi tonight. (Shame we missed the firework show)

Finally got my room tidy and finished with notebook entry and the homework (charge sheet and brief facts of case)..... Am I to write every case that I come across?? That's so time consuming.....

Now feeling so tired now.... must sleep now~

Day 71 and 72.

Still struggling with revision.

Monday is very physically demanding..... done some interval training (200m)..... the running part is good but exhausting.... I can still feel my hamstring tight from the exercise.

Resistance Control...... got lots of things to cover.

Get some time for revision before testing the OC foam (pepper spray) in the afternoon.

I am now a firm believer of the usage of OC foam since I'm a victim to it..... a minute amount applied on my lips makes me look like Joker in Batman 5 mins later....... and the pain wont go till some 30 mins later~~

The night was no good either.... got so many to cramp in my brain...... I had a can of Red Bull but still, it cant keep me awake..... sleeping around 1 that night.

Tuesday.... the exam in the morning, some last minute revision and off I go...... The exam was okay and I found that I'm like those genius, I got 'photographic memory' too..... I can recall exactly where the question was based on.... only when writing the answer i found that my 'zooming' system was malfunctional..... when focusing on the small fonts it seems all blur to me....... in the end i only manage 71 marks while the highest was 89 and my squad average being 74.5..... I'm not too satisify with that..... but that was really the capacity of me..... hope for the next one will be a better one then~

Tactics in the afternoon...... WTF, i got shot dead again..... I'd rather live a coward than to die a hero..... must remember that.

Celebration dinner at Tin Wan for hotpot..... lots of fun and laughters...... hope this will go on and on~~

Day 70 and weekend.

Day 70, Friday..... A day when I'm worrying about the upcoming exam.

The range course in the morning was good. I love the condition inside the mini-range, however it's really shameful to have missed one target in there. I must improve with my shooting technique~

OU Lecture in the afternoon.... I cant possibly think of a lecture that's worse in my whole University life..... a record broken.


Weekend.... I was supposed to be grounded for confinement, but I'm a strong believer that nobody should be subject to arbitary detention, so I somehow smuggled off and attended Jackie's Fire Service Passing Out Parade. Congrats to him.... but at the same time i feel sad, after captivity for 14 weeks..... I still got 22 weeks before freedom (the same amount of Jackie's training..... >.<)


Saturday unplanned meet up with Horace, some light reading in Mong Kok library and then went off for a feast of Japanese food..... sometimes, a friend and a good conversation is what you needed most to combat depression~


Sunday, waking up to find it's 3 in the afternoon..... it's been a while since i lived such life, but I'm loving it...... head back to my prison early for some more revision....... the more i read, the more i forgot..... I'd better sleep soon and wake early for study again......


Sigh..... nervous for Tue's exam.

Study Progress.

Apart from slow, there's no better word to describe my study progress now......

Devised a new Physical training programme for myself. Tonight: Push up 15 X2, Situp 20X2, Lateral Abs 10, Chin up, 2X2, Diamond pushup 7..... Must keep up the effort.

Day 69.

Another ultra-hei day.... Am I really training in one of the hardest programme??? I wonder sometimes.

Got the first report back.... generally it's okay..... but need to work on the discipline and really to perform well in test 3.....

Sigh.... better go back to studying.

Day 68

Another 'hei' day......

No footdrill in the morning, only one lecture.....

Afternoon the Open University Lecture..... really boring stuff.....

Only the extra drill after school has some semblence of training days.

PS. Is having a very bad allergic rhinitis now..... want to do nothing but sleep now.

Day 67

PSUC exercise...... i got nothing much to do the whole day.....

Will be confined (again) this weekend..... shit.

Day 65..... 66.

Sigh..... My life was not so great lately.

Let me recap what I've done last week.

The friday was easy, just a visit to TST station and then the whole afternoon is spent on sleeping (without realizing how thick my notes have piled up)...... the evening spent on Mess Night..... it's good to have some social function once in a while.

Weekend was being confined...... spent 2 days locked up in hostel...... damn..... I still forgot to hand in my weekly journal to my boss despite the large amount of time i spent here..... shame.
(I really ought to blog more.... they keep my mind active)

Day 66. Monday. Feeling very weak and exhausted.....

The temperature is bad, lessons are demanding..... just nothing seems too right......

Time to study, but I'm already tired..... shall i sleep now and wake early?

Day 64

Okay... day 64 now over.

PSUC exercise in the morning...... what i 'expected' finally come true, I'm the commander for a robbery case..... it might be so much better if I'm not that sick on field..... nevermind.

Visit to Vice team at Mong kok at night..... pretty impressive..... I'll just have to wait for a year or 2 and I'll live similiar life too~

No fun.

Day 60, 61 and 62 are no fun.

Day 60.... the morning drill has become a drill in the rain.... not just shower, but a full bath..... soaking wet..... how possibly can we be not sick?

Day 60 afternoon..... symptoms of flu start coming in......

Worse still.... the night was spent on first aid exam..... hundreds of ppl cramping in one lecture hall for examination..... increased the risk of cross-infection greatly (and also sharing of Ann, the dummy)

That night got home i was still okay.... but high fever since saturday morning..... at worst time it's reached 39.1 degree celcius........ did nothing but bed-bound.

I've decided I need a further bed rest that I slept through Monday and Tuesday too.... (turns out it's not that worthy..... as Tuesday is a typhoon no 8 day)...... got some major bollocking by senior management...... damn.....

Only getting back today for class..... pretty normal day.

PS. Thanks for the care. I'm really touched. (A blessing in disguise?)

Just Jack - The Day I Died

Day 59

Another 'nothing much' day.

Revolver course in the morning, doing snap shot is much easier than grouping or scoring practice as it's much more natural. Hit all my bullets in the designated zone..... but frankly, If I cant do it in 10m, it'd be a great shame. Looking forward to the next course.

Some self study time and a lecture in the afternoon......

Get the chance to meet with Jeff and Alvin tonight..... great time.....

Falling a bit sick..... too many colleagues around me are sick......

Day 58

Slept for really long last night....

But still.... every day waking up with the same tired feeling.

I kept thinking about the following, hopefully they'll make me more positive.

If I'm so sick of my life being a dentist, I really should treasure the opportunity to learn here in Police College.

Not everybody can get second chance.

Life is tough here.... but still.... that's the path i've chosen.

So no complaints.

Today is another routine day..... the 4 hours lecture at the end of the day is killing me..... Really module 3 is very very different than before.... all the procedures and guidelines..... they have no logic at all....... but I'll have to learn them by rote.... what am i supposed to do?

Tomorrow will have the chance for snap-shot shooting..... should be interesting.....

Looking forward to meeting with Alvin and Jeff tomorrow..... gosh..... I need some positive energy.

Day 57

"Pros need not be Pals" - Arsene Wenger.

I can understand Wenger's frustration this time.

When you put so many egos together they'll clash eventually. But just take it easy, we're not here to be pals.

Work is piling up and is constantly feeling sleepy.

Day 56

It's an ultra hot day today.

Morning drill for 2 hours, followed by equally physical-demanding Resistance Control lesson..... by the time in lunchtime I was left with little conciousness...... pretty much the same brain power with a zombie.....

Afternoon lesson is pretty wasted......

Worst still.... another hour of footdrill during evening..... I can see no point in drilling and drilling and drilling.....

I dunno, I cant think now.... probably I need to sleep now.

Weekend.

This weekend is quite fruitful.

Friday night was the Floor O of 14/F. Got the chance to head back and spent a night there. the usual scene in pantry, with ppl blathering and PS2 was on all the time..... i miss those days.... it's so carefree~

Had a chat with old Mon that night..... have i really changed over this 11 weeks? Is it to the good or bad side? I dunno, I can only ascertain that I can feel the change a bit.... and the change is going on and on...... Tell me what you think.

Barely wake in time for the last first aid lesson.... life should be easier with my saturday morning back......

Saturday afternoon, sister's wedding. So glad to see her in such beautiful wedding dress..... Congratulations to you, newly wed Mrs. Ng ^^ I cant help but start thinking for myself..... when will my wedding be held?

Sunday is left for sleep.... serious sleeping indeed.... I'm still sleepy even after so many hours of sleep.... must catch some more sleep now..... next time.

Day 55

Time has gone quite fast, it's been the 11th week without me realizing.

Feeling a bit of boredom at times as most days are a repetition.....

The day was spent on exercise. Had spent the night rehearsing for many times.....

Turns out it's an exercise of mixed results..... with highs and lows.... a bit like the game between AC Milan and Liverpool in Istanbul, 2005. Only this time I'm not on Liverpool side, but Milan's.

The briefing before the operation went really well, praises were received from my colleagues, and even the picky exercise team. But the execution part is a mess and disaster.... I think me and my colleague really need to work on that aspect.....

Well.... it's just a game afterall, I still got time to improve~

Day 54

Lack of sleep week.

I'm staying up this time of the night. Only for tomorrow's operation..... gosh.

Today it's relatively easy day..... people are doing fine in the pre-planned exercise.

Look forward to tomorrow's showtime.

Been rehearsing the script the whole night..... must sleep now.

Very tired....

Life's so full of shit.

Working for the operation on Friday has kept me up till this time of the night.....

Darn~

Really gotta sleep or tomorrow will be a big disaster.

Day 53

Autumn has come.

How can I tell? Simply by my sweat glands.

When in the parade ground today I'm no longer 'soaked' (if not drowned) in my own sweat..... hope this kind of weather can last long.

Received invitation from J' that his passing out from Fire department is on 26th Sept, a bit close to my exam, but still, nothing is more important than passing out from a disciplinary force, I'll be there for sure~

A very long lecture on handling of detained person, from morning all the way till afternoon..... so sleepy, but considering it's the bread and butter skills for later, have no choice but to stay awake.

Another exhausting PT session, gone swimming for how many hours? I lost count..... only knew that my muscles are all sore.....

Have to work on my presentation for friday..... write later then.

PS. Belated Happy Birthday... or why should I care?

Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.

Day 52. Post exam.

It's seldom of me to sleep so late in Police College, but today it's really an exceptional case.

The night before was sleeping quite rough cause my mind kept focusing on the test 2 this morning, waking up at 6 and do some final reading of my notes.

The whole morning was spent writing papers..... it was alright, but still, i was wrong about some questions.

In the afternoon it's range lesson. This time I've fired 30 bullets in a row.... feeling my hands and shoulders still sore from yesterday's PT test..... the result was not too good. 10m, 30 marks, 24 marks, 15m, 21 marks, 20m, 14 marks..... really shameful, especially that 20m hand..... must improve next time.

Test result released in the evening, all passed. Average score for our squad 74. I manage 81.5, while the highest is 88.5..... i guess i rank third or fourth in the whole intake..... not too bad, but there's still room for improvement.

The night was spent idly (relatively)...... stay up the whole night for the 'map making'..... for the presentation for Friday's operation...... so sleepy now, but glad i've finally managed to finish the map, tomorrow gotta finish the operation order and then rehearse it on thursday..... Great day on Friday then.

Sleep now. Later.

Day 51

Another 'hea' day in college, maybe it's due to the upcoming exam tomorrow.

I still have yet to finish all revision or worse still, i have given no thought on the exercise due this friday.... but seriously, if I blew this exam and everything will be over...... better concentrate on revision and revision only till tomorrow.

Got a PT test late in the afternoon, some aspect has improved.... but push up and chin up is still weak..... what must i do to improve??

Weekend.

Weekend was spent at home.

Saturday..... was very sick and tired, nose keep running..... must have been infected by some of my colleague here.....

Nothing beat a good bed rest.

Sunday, finally feeling stressed...... was spent mostly on studying......

Not too productive in weekend, as always.....

Day 50

Gosh, I was being lazy with updating here.

But in fact, the day 50 in college gone by without much interesting point.

I was once again, not selected as commander in exercise today..... thus my first time as commander will be in a 'assessment' exercise..... good or bad, i dunno..... fingers crossed.

Revision and more revision that day.

Glad to spent some time with ex-hallmates in Mong kok that night...

Day 49

Another burning day...

Saw the 'black notice' (temperature notice of over 32C) on my way to report on duty at 7...... I knew this is going to be hell of a day. Fortunately the morning drill today was short and we can wear training kit rather than full kit for the drill..... but still...... i'd rather not talk about it.

Had a guest lecture on triad... pretty interesting topic..... makes me want to get into the real world soon and bust them all up.

Got some time for self study after lunch time, i needed such time.

Revolver course in the afternoon. I did okay. Now we have moved from grouping to scoring, which means we'll have to hit a certain portion of body in order to score..... 5 marks for direct hit, 2 for acceptable/close hit, and minus 5 for any missed shot. 3 hands of bullet, 84 out of 90. Not too bad. I'm glad I now have mastered a bit of aiming and the trigger control and my bullets are doing better..... still some room for improvement tho.

Later

Day 48. Meeting with CP.

Quite an important day in my life.

Since switching to this new career of mine. Today it's the first time I meet with the Top Boss. The Commissoner of Police has paid a visit to Police College and meet with the students here. He's nothing but another police officer.... but his self-confidence and his at-ease attitude is something that i admire of. I guess I've made quite an impression on him when presenting today.... this could be a good sign.... maybe I'll end up in this job longer than I intended.... who knows?

Today is rather routine, the same heat and wet weather.....

Feeling the pressure of study.... must work now.

Day 47.

Slept extremely early last night......

But still feel tired in the morning.... what the heck?

Once again, procastination over revision..... Exam in less than a week.... with a lot of things cramping in..... what must I do?

Went for RECCE tonight at Tin Wan. Got a plan for the upcoming operation, now need the logistic sorted out.

Footdrill training then followed by PT session..... Fitness test today. Some improvement in JCR test (JCR stands for Jump, Chin up and Shuttle Run), for 2.4km run. I really did try my best today, and I'm a bit surprised with the result too.... 10'47"..... still some way from the best of my class.... but at least, i tried and i have no regret.

PS. I gained 2.4kg during this month..... what happened?

Day 46.

Once again. I felt my progression trapped in some bottle-neck area.

I knew that should i strive harder i'd have a much better result. But i just didnt do a thing about it..... letting chances slip by.......

Same case here. Just work harder, even by 1 % will already show the difference.

Am I ready to make this tiny step?

I hope.

Time to get real serious.

Weekend.

Weekend, as usual, pretty much wasted.

Must get serious.

Finally finished copying the NSP for 30 times......

I'll never make such low grade mistake ever again.

Very tired...... feeling the stress of exam and PSUC exercise shadowing over me.....

Maybe that's what i need. A surge of cortical steroid and adrenaline. Feel so alive.

Looking forward to tomorrow. Must grab some sleep now.

Belated Day 45.

Forgot to blog on friday.

It was a pretty normal day.

Morning went for a 10km run to clear water bay. Just simply hot.

Lectures afterwards.....

Went out and meet with sister that night. Great to see her. She must be fabulous on her wedding 5th of Sept. Looking forward.

Meet up with Jeff and co later that night. It's good to chill out with friends once in a while.

Day 44.

Went for RECCE in Tin Wan today. Will be the commander for a operation on 4th Sept..... nervous.

Range lesson. Bitter and sweet. My condition is back with result 10m 4", 4", 15m, 4", 20m, 6".... but also got 'rewarded' for 30 times NSP copying...... damn.

Great dinner with Horace, Kathy, Jon and Samuel Lun tonight...... great to have such good friends.

I'm tired now.... Later then.

Day 43.

Whole day PSUC exercise.

Not too bad. Pretty good experience.

It's indeed very challenging when facing suspect.

I felt i did quite well as a second in charge today.

Hoping for the chance as commender.

Very sleepy now. Later.

Day 42.

Ordinary day..... so and so.

Had 2 Lectures today..... really it's time to work hard.

Revolver Handling..... feeling a bit confident for thursday range course. Hope the weather is not too bad that day.

Footdrill, as usual, wet and hot like hell.

Got a chance to play football afterwork with Course Instructor..... it's fun.

Really tired now, and tomorrow's PSUC exercise One is one 'make or break' lesson..... must do my best. Sleep now, Later.

Pro-Marriage Ad by Singapore Government.

Quite meaningful.