I'm so sleepy now (and in the same time cant sleep, as I've adapted to my new biological clock of staying up late already)..... I must announce my result here before I can sleep with a burden-free mind.....
Yes, I have passed my final exam.
My predictions on paper was wrong though, what I expected to be good was not as good... but those I'm not sure of, I did more than okay to rank favourably among the squad.... I could have no complaint, right?
Here lie another difficult decision for me, I'm to choose my serving region soon, where should I head to? What's the best region for me? I want an exciting, full of work and action job but at the same time I am not sure if I'm ready for it....
"Life's like a box of Chocolate, You never know what you get...."
I understand that completely now....
Just let it be.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Day 211, 212, 213.
The three day of Standard Exam.
Day One... lack of sleep.... but mind is still clear....
Thought I've done a reasonable job in exam (in fact not).... slept through the afternoon (self-study time) and only started revision late in the evening.... with so much to learn (as some are newly-taught) and memorize.... I cant stop but have the feeling of depression.... am I thinking too much?
Day Two.... lack of sleep.... with a boast from lucozade makes me feel better..... skipped breakfast only to have my craving come during exam. Fortunate enough I always have some biscuits with me during important exam like this.... I thought the paper was real hard as I failed to grasp what they're asking for (more on that later).... feeling miserable after the exam.
As usual.... slept till evening.... you got pissed by studying again... I felt tired having to 'defuse' you everytime... I feel bad.... I'm glad i still have friends like Horace, Jeff and Kathy I can talk to (at crazy hours at night, since Kathy is a night owl and Jeff is staying up late for the game between Bayern and Lyon.... lucky for me).... I am dying soon from exhaustion....
Day Three... the final paper.... I can not concentrate, I dont know the answer, I just write what I know on it and didnt even bother to recheck the paper.... I feel a sign of relieve when I know the exam is over (though with a sense of fear at the same time..... as there's rumour people have failed the exam....) all i need to do is the spent the afternoon on tactics and dont think too much.
Day One... lack of sleep.... but mind is still clear....
Thought I've done a reasonable job in exam (in fact not).... slept through the afternoon (self-study time) and only started revision late in the evening.... with so much to learn (as some are newly-taught) and memorize.... I cant stop but have the feeling of depression.... am I thinking too much?
Day Two.... lack of sleep.... with a boast from lucozade makes me feel better..... skipped breakfast only to have my craving come during exam. Fortunate enough I always have some biscuits with me during important exam like this.... I thought the paper was real hard as I failed to grasp what they're asking for (more on that later).... feeling miserable after the exam.
As usual.... slept till evening.... you got pissed by studying again... I felt tired having to 'defuse' you everytime... I feel bad.... I'm glad i still have friends like Horace, Jeff and Kathy I can talk to (at crazy hours at night, since Kathy is a night owl and Jeff is staying up late for the game between Bayern and Lyon.... lucky for me).... I am dying soon from exhaustion....
Day Three... the final paper.... I can not concentrate, I dont know the answer, I just write what I know on it and didnt even bother to recheck the paper.... I feel a sign of relieve when I know the exam is over (though with a sense of fear at the same time..... as there's rumour people have failed the exam....) all i need to do is the spent the afternoon on tactics and dont think too much.
Weekend
Wasted my whole saturday on confinement again.....
Was already way behind revision schedule by my body told me I should stop.... constant headache really make people depressed....
Sunday....
Finally..... turbo charged for revision (as the final judgement is near).... started in the afternoon (around 3) all the way till late night.... during which.... it seems to have become an habit during exam... we had minor conflicts again.... I just dont know how to handle such stressful situation, I'm sorry.
Was already way behind revision schedule by my body told me I should stop.... constant headache really make people depressed....
Sunday....
Finally..... turbo charged for revision (as the final judgement is near).... started in the afternoon (around 3) all the way till late night.... during which.... it seems to have become an habit during exam... we had minor conflicts again.... I just dont know how to handle such stressful situation, I'm sorry.
Day 208, 209, 210...
What? It's been the 44th week of training in police college for me. I didnt really realize it's been so long already.... no wonder I feel a bit of boredom from the daily routine here.... but looking at the bright side of things.... for every beginning there's an end. And the end is coming.... looking forward.
This week.... is as usually boring and cramped....
Wednesday, as I'm trying my best to get myself to study, any lesson (though they're still teaching subjects that will be examed) seems like a waste of time to me... Had some boring lectures and a range course for the handling of long-barrel weapons, also a guest lecture by Rail District, funny enough I was able to meet the person who picked me into Police College during my extended-interview, Paul Gordon.... funny, right? Seems like a flash back all the way to one year ago.
The study progress at night was bad... unable to focus, distracted... and laziness is the greatest enemy (supported by the fact that I didnt even bother to blog).... wasted.
Thursday, a good change of environment, a visit to the government lab. Feels like you're in a CSI episode.... reminds me a lot of what I have learnt during my secondary and university life.... it's quite good (if it's arranged on another day, where there's no exam pressure pressing every minute, it'd be fantastic)
Again, trying to study but failed.... I'm not worried as I'm the kind of person who will only fear till the very very very last minute. I dont know if it's good or bad, but at least, I can still enjoy my night before my 26th birthday.
Thanks my dear for preparing so much for me. It's a really great surprise.... when blowing the candle I greedily made 2 wishes.... One is for the pass in standard one exam, and the second is to be with you.
Friday...
Greeted with "happy birthday" in places where I go to.... happy feeling.
Had an exam on revolver handling, finally I'm qualified to carry arm on duty.
The visit to ICAC in the afternoon was..... sleepy exerience.... how can it be so boring???
Night.... report for confinement.... wasted my whole night....
This week.... is as usually boring and cramped....
Wednesday, as I'm trying my best to get myself to study, any lesson (though they're still teaching subjects that will be examed) seems like a waste of time to me... Had some boring lectures and a range course for the handling of long-barrel weapons, also a guest lecture by Rail District, funny enough I was able to meet the person who picked me into Police College during my extended-interview, Paul Gordon.... funny, right? Seems like a flash back all the way to one year ago.
The study progress at night was bad... unable to focus, distracted... and laziness is the greatest enemy (supported by the fact that I didnt even bother to blog).... wasted.
Thursday, a good change of environment, a visit to the government lab. Feels like you're in a CSI episode.... reminds me a lot of what I have learnt during my secondary and university life.... it's quite good (if it's arranged on another day, where there's no exam pressure pressing every minute, it'd be fantastic)
Again, trying to study but failed.... I'm not worried as I'm the kind of person who will only fear till the very very very last minute. I dont know if it's good or bad, but at least, I can still enjoy my night before my 26th birthday.
Thanks my dear for preparing so much for me. It's a really great surprise.... when blowing the candle I greedily made 2 wishes.... One is for the pass in standard one exam, and the second is to be with you.
Friday...
Greeted with "happy birthday" in places where I go to.... happy feeling.
Had an exam on revolver handling, finally I'm qualified to carry arm on duty.
The visit to ICAC in the afternoon was..... sleepy exerience.... how can it be so boring???
Night.... report for confinement.... wasted my whole night....
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
My best achievement during Standard One exam.
http://www.fmylife.com/kids/10158483
See who wrote that line?
It's good to have something published there and people leave silly remarks =]
See who wrote that line?
It's good to have something published there and people leave silly remarks =]
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Day 206, 207
Counting down to Standard One exam....
Slow study progress.
Monday, precious morning ruined by DMI by his sharing on his bollockings....
Glad the lecture that follows ended early, got some time to read.
Long Barrel Weapons Handling, MP-5, Remington 870, AR-15 (civilian version of M16) and Federal M201Z..... all are interesting babies.
Night went out to Sai Wan for medical consultation and dinner.... dinner was good.... but it's just too much burden from study lately.... we can have some good meals later on, okay?
"Adopted" a pet puppy..... yet to name it.... um... let me think.
Tuesday.
There's one thing I like about Police Culture. They dont care about individual responsibilities.... when problem arouse, it's always the group who shared the burden..... exactly the case of me being confined over the weekend.... because some dumbass failed to wake up in time.... pretty smart.... I dont know why the others are so angry and wanted to lay all the burden back to the culprit (though it's solely him).... there's more than enough reason for us to have 'suitable monitor and guidance' to the colleague, even if we said it's not our fault, we'll still be confined.... there's no difference in outcome. So why bother?
So sleepy during lecture that my productivity is close to zero.... skipped lunch for a nap but it's still not useful.....
The Fitness test in the afternoon is killing..... I've got slight improvements in every item but the overall performance is still low.... but nevermind, as long as i finished training here I can always do it on my own.
Must find time to read more tonight.
Later.
Slow study progress.
Monday, precious morning ruined by DMI by his sharing on his bollockings....
Glad the lecture that follows ended early, got some time to read.
Long Barrel Weapons Handling, MP-5, Remington 870, AR-15 (civilian version of M16) and Federal M201Z..... all are interesting babies.
Night went out to Sai Wan for medical consultation and dinner.... dinner was good.... but it's just too much burden from study lately.... we can have some good meals later on, okay?
"Adopted" a pet puppy..... yet to name it.... um... let me think.
Tuesday.
There's one thing I like about Police Culture. They dont care about individual responsibilities.... when problem arouse, it's always the group who shared the burden..... exactly the case of me being confined over the weekend.... because some dumbass failed to wake up in time.... pretty smart.... I dont know why the others are so angry and wanted to lay all the burden back to the culprit (though it's solely him).... there's more than enough reason for us to have 'suitable monitor and guidance' to the colleague, even if we said it's not our fault, we'll still be confined.... there's no difference in outcome. So why bother?
So sleepy during lecture that my productivity is close to zero.... skipped lunch for a nap but it's still not useful.....
The Fitness test in the afternoon is killing..... I've got slight improvements in every item but the overall performance is still low.... but nevermind, as long as i finished training here I can always do it on my own.
Must find time to read more tonight.
Later.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Weekend.
Weekend was wasted....
Saturday, nothing notably except seeing Kevin and some lazy time at home.... I loved that but it's really not a good time to enjoy....
Sunday.... Am I already too late to start revision?
Feeling like CE/AL/Year 5 thesis and final exam packed altogether....
Um....
I will survive.
The worst part is over, the best is yet to come.
Saturday, nothing notably except seeing Kevin and some lazy time at home.... I loved that but it's really not a good time to enjoy....
Sunday.... Am I already too late to start revision?
Feeling like CE/AL/Year 5 thesis and final exam packed altogether....
Um....
I will survive.
The worst part is over, the best is yet to come.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Day 203, 204 and 205
Still, no progress in study.
Wednesday, practical day, tactics 9 learnt.... regarding the clearing of supicious vehicle. And afternoon the final range course and the marksmanship test, scored fairly.... and had the chance to fire using the non-dorminant hand..... bullets went astray :P
Extra drill in the evening.... no use at all.
Thursday, last morning parade before exam..... all went well. I went out to QM for the regular medical check up.... though I'm away but the work is still with me.... got to do all the contacting work as my prefect duties.
Really bad weather that day, misty, cold and rainy.... the only thing to cheer me up is the visit back to hall.... will I have more chance to go back before my work gets busy?
Friday. Visit to Police Headquarters.... for a mock court trial... good lord, finally the week's over.
Not in the best relationship lately.... arguments over the slightest thing.... what must I do?
Dinner and drink with the fabulous guys and gals, Jon, James and Nest, Sally and Felix, Kathy and Samuel Lun.... interesting.... will be some time since we meet again.
Wednesday, practical day, tactics 9 learnt.... regarding the clearing of supicious vehicle. And afternoon the final range course and the marksmanship test, scored fairly.... and had the chance to fire using the non-dorminant hand..... bullets went astray :P
Extra drill in the evening.... no use at all.
Thursday, last morning parade before exam..... all went well. I went out to QM for the regular medical check up.... though I'm away but the work is still with me.... got to do all the contacting work as my prefect duties.
Really bad weather that day, misty, cold and rainy.... the only thing to cheer me up is the visit back to hall.... will I have more chance to go back before my work gets busy?
Friday. Visit to Police Headquarters.... for a mock court trial... good lord, finally the week's over.
Not in the best relationship lately.... arguments over the slightest thing.... what must I do?
Dinner and drink with the fabulous guys and gals, Jon, James and Nest, Sally and Felix, Kathy and Samuel Lun.... interesting.... will be some time since we meet again.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Day 201 and 202
Finally.... the day arrived.
No more waiting required, and it's my hit or miss chance....
Have you heard of some football players who are marvellous in the regular games, but in the finals or important matches, they simply disappear?
It's all about stress. It can drown you in no time.
But I'm quite the contrary to them.
I feel my nerves in the daily operation, even the things that I'm supposedly familiarize at.... but when the chance come.... the real deal.... I felt focused, I felt calm.... I dont know out of the two which one is more pathetic, but I'm satisfied at being who I am.
The SSP reassessment went okay, and me being the first to be granted a pass from this new 'headmaster' in college. Record breaking again?
Maybe I've thought of the worst but not this outcome so I dont really feel all that excited..... but still... it's good to stay.
Another hurdle 2 weeks from now... I'm getting frustrated when I'm stressed and you got your problems at the same time.... I dont know what I can do...
Tuesday.
OU exam again.... this time it's not that good coz I dont have the time to read, not even the notes.... but I shall pass and OU is now history.... that's something to celebrate.
A boring lecture to follow and we went to visit EU of NTN.... pretty interesting, especially the long barrel weapons are awesome. AR 15 with the telescopic view... love it already.
So tired today.... better sleep soon.... must rest up and do the revision.... dont want to face any new challenges.
No more waiting required, and it's my hit or miss chance....
Have you heard of some football players who are marvellous in the regular games, but in the finals or important matches, they simply disappear?
It's all about stress. It can drown you in no time.
But I'm quite the contrary to them.
I feel my nerves in the daily operation, even the things that I'm supposedly familiarize at.... but when the chance come.... the real deal.... I felt focused, I felt calm.... I dont know out of the two which one is more pathetic, but I'm satisfied at being who I am.
The SSP reassessment went okay, and me being the first to be granted a pass from this new 'headmaster' in college. Record breaking again?
Maybe I've thought of the worst but not this outcome so I dont really feel all that excited..... but still... it's good to stay.
Another hurdle 2 weeks from now... I'm getting frustrated when I'm stressed and you got your problems at the same time.... I dont know what I can do...
Tuesday.
OU exam again.... this time it's not that good coz I dont have the time to read, not even the notes.... but I shall pass and OU is now history.... that's something to celebrate.
A boring lecture to follow and we went to visit EU of NTN.... pretty interesting, especially the long barrel weapons are awesome. AR 15 with the telescopic view... love it already.
So tired today.... better sleep soon.... must rest up and do the revision.... dont want to face any new challenges.
Weekend.
Weekend. As usual, spent at home....
Did some bit of study, shop around a little in Taikoo Shing before you head back to work.... otherwise my day was spent on nothing.
Sunday was Jackie and Doll's big day, they're getting married.... I've got everything ready before my allergic rhinitis got the better of me.... was crazily feverish and sick and headache that I have no way of leaving my home..... I hate the feeling that I got drawn back because of my body's condition.... So sorry Jackie and Doll but I promise I'll make up to you two, for you two have such an important role in my life.
Did some bit of study, shop around a little in Taikoo Shing before you head back to work.... otherwise my day was spent on nothing.
Sunday was Jackie and Doll's big day, they're getting married.... I've got everything ready before my allergic rhinitis got the better of me.... was crazily feverish and sick and headache that I have no way of leaving my home..... I hate the feeling that I got drawn back because of my body's condition.... So sorry Jackie and Doll but I promise I'll make up to you two, for you two have such an important role in my life.
Belated 198, 199, 200
Very late entry.
Got hold up for a number of things.
It's been a long and anxious week last week. And my mood was in new low.
Wednesday, first day back to training. Greeted by OU final exam and JCR fitness test.... my legs were sore for almost 1 week.
Thursday, Morning Parade.... it's so bad as we're really not into it.... post holiday syndrome? We had the revolver handling test that day, not too concentrated in the first few hands and so i scored 46 out of 48 in the end.... not too bad.
Friday. Went to North Point Government office for english course.... it's not practical to our daily work but still. It's a good get away.
Friday night was spent on Happy Hour (or unhappy hour as I'm really not enjoying it... leave alone the fact that we have to perform). It's such a relieve to meet up with Kennon and chat to him on everything... Did I mention here that I found his experience and background made him the most inspirational senior I've met over the past few years.... It's such lovely dinner. Thanks mate, I'll keep on fighting and so do you.
Got hold up for a number of things.
It's been a long and anxious week last week. And my mood was in new low.
Wednesday, first day back to training. Greeted by OU final exam and JCR fitness test.... my legs were sore for almost 1 week.
Thursday, Morning Parade.... it's so bad as we're really not into it.... post holiday syndrome? We had the revolver handling test that day, not too concentrated in the first few hands and so i scored 46 out of 48 in the end.... not too bad.
Friday. Went to North Point Government office for english course.... it's not practical to our daily work but still. It's a good get away.
Friday night was spent on Happy Hour (or unhappy hour as I'm really not enjoying it... leave alone the fact that we have to perform). It's such a relieve to meet up with Kennon and chat to him on everything... Did I mention here that I found his experience and background made him the most inspirational senior I've met over the past few years.... It's such lovely dinner. Thanks mate, I'll keep on fighting and so do you.
Monday, April 12, 2010
The test!
No matter what happen, I've got nothing to lose.
I still have my family, girlfriend and friends, they're most valuable to me.
All others, just let it be.
I still have my family, girlfriend and friends, they're most valuable to me.
All others, just let it be.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Easter Holiday
A precious 5 day holiday.
Things were usual at home.... some gaming, some study, went to visit grandpa's and grand mom's grave. Had tea with family. Really.... sort of things you'll do with the family members.
Spent a day in China with Mi... It's not a great trip but it's good to change scenery once in a while though.
Pissed off the family and friends for locking myself in my room.... doing nothing... well... that's what holiday is for, isnt it? If you got plans or ideas, do voice it out.... or else I might spent the whole day inside... I guess I might be a deep-down social-phobic...
Now the holiday is over without me doing much... I'm depressed over work again.
Things were usual at home.... some gaming, some study, went to visit grandpa's and grand mom's grave. Had tea with family. Really.... sort of things you'll do with the family members.
Spent a day in China with Mi... It's not a great trip but it's good to change scenery once in a while though.
Pissed off the family and friends for locking myself in my room.... doing nothing... well... that's what holiday is for, isnt it? If you got plans or ideas, do voice it out.... or else I might spent the whole day inside... I guess I might be a deep-down social-phobic...
Now the holiday is over without me doing much... I'm depressed over work again.
Day 197
Another 'nothing much' day. Holiday mood kicking in fast.
Morning parade, normal, as usual. Only difference being me became the commander of another squad, as my P squad went for flag raising ceremony in Wan Chai.... still... nothing much.
Had an after lunch interview with SSP. He laid the ground rules for the upcoming reassessment.... all seems favourable.... but still... I think the problem is not on his side... but more on me and my inner devil.... what must i do?
Range course in afternoon. Nothing much...
Finally a long holiday...
Morning parade, normal, as usual. Only difference being me became the commander of another squad, as my P squad went for flag raising ceremony in Wan Chai.... still... nothing much.
Had an after lunch interview with SSP. He laid the ground rules for the upcoming reassessment.... all seems favourable.... but still... I think the problem is not on his side... but more on me and my inner devil.... what must i do?
Range course in afternoon. Nothing much...
Finally a long holiday...
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Day 196
A day spent outside campus. (but still.... wasted the morning on some stupid squad business.... when'll they learn and mature?)
A day spent in North Point Government Offices for English course.... from the past experience, it is supposedly an idle, joyful lecture.... but it ended up as one of the worst english lesson ever.
I must admit the course itself is somewhat useful... but the tutor's presentation skill was simply..... AWFUL. What more can I say?
Lunch spent with Mi and one of her friend... in Taikoo shing.
After enduring 7 hours plus of mental abuse.... I felt like dead when getting back...
I am tired for most of the time lately.... what's going on?
For you, solve all problems of your body as soon as possible... it's heartbreaking for me to see you suffer.
A day spent in North Point Government Offices for English course.... from the past experience, it is supposedly an idle, joyful lecture.... but it ended up as one of the worst english lesson ever.
I must admit the course itself is somewhat useful... but the tutor's presentation skill was simply..... AWFUL. What more can I say?
Lunch spent with Mi and one of her friend... in Taikoo shing.
After enduring 7 hours plus of mental abuse.... I felt like dead when getting back...
I am tired for most of the time lately.... what's going on?
For you, solve all problems of your body as soon as possible... it's heartbreaking for me to see you suffer.
Day 195
Tiring Tuesday.
Being the deputy prefect is wasting all my sleeping time in the morning.
Footdrill, hot as usual.
Debriefing of test 5.... lost marks in stupid areas again.... next time I'm gonna write whatever is related on it.... afterall, it's not me who's marking the paper... I dont care if they're tired in reading or not.
Met with Lewis for exercise performance again.... it's sort of becoming a familiar feeling for me.... frustrated by my lack of ability... even when the case is simple....
Last OU tutorial by Grace.... gonna have exam again soon.
Footdrill turned into a boring past POP viewing (on a VCD).... sleepy as hell...
Night... been in a fight over some minor things... It's not that I dont want to talk, it's just I dont know where to start with.... help me with it, will you?
Being the deputy prefect is wasting all my sleeping time in the morning.
Footdrill, hot as usual.
Debriefing of test 5.... lost marks in stupid areas again.... next time I'm gonna write whatever is related on it.... afterall, it's not me who's marking the paper... I dont care if they're tired in reading or not.
Met with Lewis for exercise performance again.... it's sort of becoming a familiar feeling for me.... frustrated by my lack of ability... even when the case is simple....
Last OU tutorial by Grace.... gonna have exam again soon.
Footdrill turned into a boring past POP viewing (on a VCD).... sleepy as hell...
Night... been in a fight over some minor things... It's not that I dont want to talk, it's just I dont know where to start with.... help me with it, will you?
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