Thursday, January 28, 2010

Day 153

Belated entry as last night was too tired.

Still with the muscle pain all through my body... the worst part is over and I'm on recovery phase now.....

Footdrill in the morning..... simply a waste of time.

Lecture to follow..... not too bad.... still tired though.

The time before lunch was spent on eye sight test and uniform fitting etc..... mundane stuff......

Revolver course lost its fun.... but replaced with a new found determination in me.... I didnt score too well in the course but I can feel my marksmanship improving..... the bullets are concentrated more, though I still suffer from occassional concentration lapse..... but overall, it's not bad.

Dinner went out again... I have no idea why you're so pissed when I mentioned revision.... if that's an inevitable, I'd rather face it sooner than later....

Still..... I'm grateful to hear you speak your past and 'our' past over the phone at night.... there're lots that I did not know.... tell me bit by bit in the coming days, okay?

Argh... it's such a sleepy day today.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Day 152

With the 7 original sin.... I think Rage probably did the most damage...

I was in rage over some overtly minor issue last night..... hurting the person i love... I regret over my decision....

Control the rage, control the temper.....

Today was not a good day as i got soreness on my whole body.... it's like.... being beaten up badly.....

Footdrill in the morning is a waste of time.....

Lecture was productive. At least i get to learn something that i dont fully understand before.

Afternoon.... OU..... sleeping time.....

Thanks goodness you dont have to work tonight.... I treasure the time we had....

The bread and butter cake tonight was fantastic, dont you think so?

Day 151

Morning.... seeing my colleague making mistakes after mistakes in the SP assessment..... I knew this is not going to be a good day..... it reminds me on how I made my wrongs too.... just different person, different time.....

Dont feel too bad about these.... anything that doesnt kill makes one stronger... I still believe.

Striving to stay awake the whole afternoon in lecture..... how on earth is such sleepiness possible?

Night was doing Pre-hell..... again.... but this time it's easier than before.... though i still struggle with physical fitness but now things are more tolerable.... hopefully I'll have my confidence back and spend some time working out again~~

Time for sleep is so little.... must get some sleep now, later.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Day 150 and weekend

Friday. Nothing much.... sleepy when waking up.

Went out for RECCE in aberdeen for pre-planned case... Nothing much....

Afternoon spent doing paper work.... which I'm still working on it now.....

It's been a boring week....

Afternoon spent doing exercise.... I'm starting to feel bored, no matter what.

Weekend.... nothing beat resting at home...

Worried by the pre-hell exercise on Monday..... it's draining all my mental power and happiness to it..... really not good...

Friday, January 22, 2010

Random thoughts

So full of thoughts right now.

Was in a tiny crisis over relationship matter tonight, but it's been all fixed now.

Thank you for calling... it's so good to talk things through... and your courage in admitting the wrong.... will I be able to do the same if we swapped position?

Am I being honest to my feelings lately?

Forgiving is easy. But am I merely planting salavation for myself just-in-case? This is a distrubing thought for me.

Got so much on my mind now..... but all in all..... I'm just glad are back to normal once again.

"今天憶當初 我只愛你一個
心裏有句說話 要對你說清楚
可否息風波 你對我已不錯
心裏也暗暗認 我也有一點點錯"
小風波

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Day 148, 149

Sleeping more and more lately, but at the same time feeling more and more weared than usual.... Maybe it has nothing to do with the physical condition but more about the mental power... I think I'm just mentally tired....

Wednesday. Whole day spent for PSUC exercise. I was forced to be spectator for the operations as I have done them all previously..... not a good way to learn but it's a decision I got to live with.

I grew more and more anxious about exercise... now it's even less opportunity for me to learn.... will I be able to perform when it's my turn? Start having a bit of doubt.....

Still, one happy news today.... when seeing you be the commander for the case and you managed to get the case solved, albeit some slight glitches.... in essence, you're doing well..... so dont stress yourself too much, you'll be just fine.

Go on the exodus from campus once again.... this time..... to my childhood territory, Kowloon City.... there are so many good food from the district and I can only taste a fraction of it here and there..... it's still a lot more to cover..... hopefully next time.

More and more having the feeling of 'memento mori' (Latin: Remember you must die)..... anything good wont last and one got to be realistic... despite such happy times outside but once caged back inside the campus, one's a slave, an animal again..... this thought is so depressing.

Thursday, morning with the PT session..... I'm getting weaker over the last few months.... I really needed to spend time in the gym or else I'll be in big trouble.... when can I drag my lazy bones and do it?

OU tutorial and lecture finish the day.....

Dinner with colleague in causewaybay, not a dinner that I'm fond of.... first, some in the table seems reluctant to go for this meal.... and secondly... with people bugging my girl all through the dinner really pisses me off....

Do you believe in astrology.... I'm only mildly into it at first, but once reading astrology zone for a few months.... now I'm worshipping it..... it works so well on me that makes my skin chill...... it can be scary sometimes.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Day 146, 147

Monday.... my body failed me...

Originally thought I'm well enough for work again..... but the morning headache and the fear of pre-hell that night refrained me from making stupid decision of working..... Went to see doctor at government clinic and granted a sick leave (the doctor is 'efficient' enough to ask me to continue taking my over-the-counter drug consisting of anti-histamine and paracetamol, without issuing any other drug.....)

The whole monday was spent on nothing.... wanted to sleep but was constantly awaken by gun shots (my room is close to the range)...... bad quality sleep.....

Felt slightly better at night...... pop out to Jordan for "Australian Milk Company" famous tea set.... it's good to get out and breath air of freedom......

Tuesday....

Morning parade.... hellish.....

Lecture all afternoon..... sleepy.....

That concludes my day.

Rode on an unknown bus, getting off in Hung Hom.... ended up having dinner in Whampoa..... if you map the place I have dinner lately, it's like a migatory map of birds..... Yes, I'm a caged bird, I'm doing my best to get the hell out of this place..... sigh....

It's a good dinner..... I appreciate when you ask about my past.... it's like.... never before did anyone bother to listen.... I'm glad you've asked.

So sleepy now, and a full long day awaits me tomorrow..... write next time.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Weekend

Weekend....

Wasted..... as I have fallen ill.....

It's no fun being bed-bound.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Day 145

I'm getting forgotful lately.....

It took me quite a number of minutes before I can recall where I had my dinner last night.... an average Jap food in Sai Wan (blame it on its ordinariness or my exhausted mental state now).... I know it not because of the food, but the person having meal with me ^^

Sleep's been quite rough lately, usually getting up in the middle of the night for no reason..... that explains why I'm so tired everyday I wake.

Absolutely rubbish time table.... lecture, PT, lecture and drill..... well..... I grew more and more amnestic over these thing.....

Extra leadership training in the evening..... I felt myself getting worse and worse in this area.... what must I do?

I must keep in Taurus personality in check... I kept telling myself that I should not worry and she's a grown-up ended up with me fearing the worst..... that's no good.

Have just done the graveyard shift..... from 0245 till 0700..... got nothing to do but to wander off aimlessly inside the campus..... bored as hell......

I think the only consolation prize will be a good McDonald breakfast..... but unfortunately it'll arrive in 1 hour.... that means still an hour of waiting.....

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Day 143, 144

This two days were passed without much highlight.

Wednesday, usual boring drill to start the morning... Had the range lesson afterwards..... I've improved a bit in my aiming so the bullets were more concentrated even in 20m, however, there're new problems aroused.... I should really aim higher up the target and keep it that way during my trigger pulling, or else my bullets are all going down to the groin area.... which is not too nice.....

Lecture on firearms..... sleepy sleepy sleepy......

RC class to follow... nothing much... especially I dont have further exam on that.

I cant help but to sleep early that night..... it's been so tired lately.... but still, upon waking up today, i still feel tried.... is there something wrong with me?

Thursday.... first breakfast i have in these 2 weeks..... as expected, the food is bad.....

Again, footdrill in the morning, then RC and OU tutorials and lecture..... so glad it's the exam today that means i can spent my afternoon in the library....

That's why i have the time for my blog entry now.....

I'm growing more and more fed up with the life here.... just finish this damn training ASAP.... I longed the day when there's a bit of freedom.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Day 141, 142

Not a good start of the week.

Monday was kept busy by all sort of tasks without really resting....

Sunday's sleep was rough..... and I planned to catch a bit more sleep by skipping breakfast, only to find out i was summoned by the DMI for a meeting that never materialise..... fine.....

Morning spent doing exercise... nothing much.

Revolver handling again...... nothing much too....

Afternoon.... kept dozing off during lectures.....

Night, got to work as DO..... it's such a busy night..... doing night exercise from 7 till 9, patrol around 9ish.... doing night inspection at 10.... debriefing and stuffs finished around 11, leave alone my bath and meal time.... where on earth is my sleeping time?

Tuesday..... still.... in a bad physical condition.

Morning parade is hardly the appropiate activity under such conditions.... headache the whole morning.

Revolver handling next.... again.....

OU tutorial and lecture..... was caught napping during class and made into a major incident.... why so serious? What's the fuss about it? I dont really care, that's my only stance.

Glad to have dinner outside tonight that I can leave such atmosphere behind me for a while..... but I'm just so sleepy through out....

PS. Been thinking lately.... I even say my prayer.... I'm just looking for some signs over my future....

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Day 140 and weekend

Day 140 was passed without much recollection of what I've done....

Morning footdrill..... really inefficient.

PT, it's good to get to move sometimes.....

Lecture.... bored as hell.....

Revolver course..... um.... maybe it's been too long since I discharge a firearm..... the result is not too good.....

But I dont care about all these.... it's just work... I'd rather concentrate on the time afterwork.... Lovely dinner in SOHO east (though the restaurant is a bit cold)..... watching movie at home has become my favourite weekend entertainment.... feel so glad you're so close to me... you're part of my life now.

Saturday dinner spent with ex-colleagues from dental clinic.... happy time and good food too~~

Must sleep now.... I'm sleepy~

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Day 139

Another day of hea-ness.....

Dunno why but this feeling keep on and on in my mind....

Too much leisure will dull my senses.... I must beware of that.

Morning Parade...... it's becoming all too familiar for me.

1 hour PT training.... it's nothing.

OU and more OU..... it's paradise.....

Spent the night in a classy Italian restaurant with colleagues.... food is quite good.... but I'd rather spend every second with you and you only.

Thank you for the 2 happy months with you. I feel loved.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Day 138

Whole day went for PSUC exercise.

Turns out my exercise last night was somewhat useful, which I'm glad. But despite of that, 3 still failed the assessment.... I certainly feel for my colleagues....

It's been some very different exercise... maybe I'm much more involved in it.... the gist of the exercise is the same.... but it's the role that you play..... seeing other people mistake and I'll think what I might do at that same moment.... this keeps my mind clear.....

Went for extra-drill tonight..... tired....

I'm still sleepy..... my thoughts are not coherent now..... better sleep soon....

PS. I hope that didnt hurt too bad..... should go away soon~

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Day 137

First Day in PI 517.

Life's not too bad.....

Spent the morning tidying up my room..... cant imagine the huge dust-ball rolling up under my bed are actually so gigantic.... but at least now I got a clean room to sleep with... not bad for a start~

The DMI seems a bit long-winded.... I'll have to live with that.....

Resistance Control.... WTF? Assistant?? The one doing demostration? I've only just got my license.... um.... (but it's still better than practising the move over and over again)

OU lecture in the afternoon.... it's such a great relieve to know we can spent the time in library instead of the stupid auditorium..... though I'll sleep no matter where I am.... but in a more concealed place always helps.

Hosting leadership exercise for colleagues.... i guess that's the only talent I can offer here.... Um.... I actually learn from them in such experience.... it's quite good.

So sleepy now.... must sleep soon.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Day 136

Today is nothing much....

Probably still too drained by the trip to Macau and was too tired from the morning drill in the morning..... the OU tutorial and lesson afterwards were all sleeping time.....

Finally went to see the SSP.... I was transferred to PI 517.

Life can be far worse than that, so I can have no complaint really.... the only problem with this squad shall be the 'gossip' issue given that my girlfriend is in the same squad too..... um....

Dinner back at home since brother is leaving tomorrow. It's rather nice time spent with them. Looking forward to him coming back in June again.

Life in 517 starts tomorrow.... it's a new start, again.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Happy New Year and trip to Macau.

This has been a good new year for me amid the sad/negative environment.

I spent my count down for 2010 in a tiny bar at Langham Place.... a place not too noisy and with music... most important of all.... you're with me.

Had a get-away trip to Macau for the following 3 days... seriously, I've only been to Macau for 2 times (bar this one).... first time was ages ago with family which I can hardly recall.... and the second time was last year with Kennon and Co for food and gambling.... I only do the sight seeing of Macau this time.....

First day was spent searching for food and places for fun on Macau Peninsula.... The food there was quite good.... and cheap as well.... Got a good dinner at a traditional restaurant.... The whole day was spent in the city~

Second day. More sight seeing..... Been to the 'Tower'.... shame it's a bit foggy that day, but interestingly I went for a movie at the theatre there, "Sherlock Holmes".... The film itself and the cinema there are both good.

Later that day I went to see "Zaia"... I've always wanted to watch the show for long time..... it's a very impressive display of art and skills.

Been gambling a bit at the Sands..... Fortunately, I brought 300 dollars with me and I can leave with 300 dollars intact in my pockets..... much better luck this time than last time, where I lost all 300 dollars on the table.

Third day..... checking out around noon.... It's been a sleepy day for me..... just head to the fisherman's wharf for a while and got back to HK.....

But overall speaking.... it's been a wonderful trip~

Since 2010 has arrived.... I'd like to write my New Year Resolution here.

1. Find my way.... be it my dreams, my goals or my future... I want some answers.

2. To get in better shape. I'm not doing too bad lately, but there's always room for improvement.

3. Love the people around me.... I guess.... that's a mission for life.... but I'll work hard on that this year.