Day 113.

Mixed feelings towards work.

It's been an exhausting day.

Morning was fine, skipped breakfast for some more sleeping time.... went to visit Eastern Magistracy today.... the judiciary system is quite ineffective, eg. cases got piled up because of no shows.... or lack or translation etc problems..... but since I'm not in that field, I might not be the right person to critise.

Got lunch at McD outside coz I was starving after all the hours in court room.... skipped lunch from the mess too.....

Footdrill..... when was the last time we drilled so extensively? So tired.

PT right afterwards, some shuttle run practice and it's swim/swim and more swim practice.... the wind was chilly whenever i got up from the pool..... totally freezing..... feel good coz my breast stroke is doing better and better, went for three 50m swim and the result, 1'05", 1'01" and 59".... is constantly improving ^^ But still.... it's so tiring experience.

Extra PT by Ho sir..... I have no idea why he'll arrange weights session after we've laxed our muscles in the pool..... hellish training routine with 12 pounds dumbbell on each hand, biceps, shoulder, triceps, quads, inner chest, back and deltoids..... many sets.... i felt that I'm no longer that tough or enduring as before..... at some point, I've seriously considered what on earth am i doing..... but thanks to you, you're my every reason.

PS. Thank you for the 'questionaire'... The best is yet to come :P

Weekend.

Saturday morning was 'taken' away by performing usher duty for the passing out parade of senior squad.... It's been a good show and I'm happy to see them march with pride and happiness.... but still..... I treasure my lovely saturday morning more.....

Went out for lunch and a stay in HKU library... been effective and finished many of my works in those hours...

Dinner in Central, triple-O's burger is awesome... catch a ferry ride across the harbour.... the night scene was fabulous ^^ (and extra attractive as they're rehearsing the light show for East Asian Games that night)

Sunday.... sleepy.... another day where i spent most hours in/on bed..... waking up around noon, lunch, a bit of TV/books/games in my room... and that's about my whole day....

Dinner in causeway bay and now I'm locked up once again in Wong Cheuk Hang... this will be a physically and mentally demanding week, 10 hours of footdrill, 2 PT lessons, and a PSUC exercise shall wear me down considerably...... looking forward to friday and weekend....

PS. Goodnight...

Day 112

Self-imposed physical hardship day.

Morning was PT test again, this time doing the obstacle race PPAT, a 400m track with 6 different tasks to do, did really well this time and finish the course in 1'53"..... I couldnt have asked for more.

Test 4 debriefing..... as expected, losed marks in stupid areas..... well..... everything is a learning procedure.....

OU tutorial..... got no attention on it at all..... but the bad news is.... we're issued with 2 homework to be handed in mid-dec..... gosh.... my precious weekend time is slimming up.....

OU test in the afternoon.... did okay, I'm not aiming for anything this time..... just let it be, and the lecture part was spent sleeping and rejuvenating myself.

Went out alone tonight... first a sudden stop-by at Hall..... glad to see some floormates and shared some happy times with them playing winning eleven in pantry, good old days (though I use to win before).... but this time I'm more and more confident that my assumption was right.... I'm already way too far from hall life... i like the place but I can never treat it as my asylum forever, time to move on.......

McD dinner on the run and went for gym..... i was pretty inspired by my fitness level drop lately and I'm working double-hard hoping to get in shape in time, especially when hell week is approaching...... things will be painful but shall be fine..... anything that doesnt kill me make me stronger (if not invincible).

PS, I want a quiet little place for you and me only..... no disturbance, no other person.... that'd be ideal.

Day 111

One more day in this 'fine institution' (as our course instructor likes to put it)..... Be positive, that means one less day i got to stay in this boring and disciplined place..... I should be cheerful for everyday i spent here, right?

Footdrill in the morning, no matter how many lesson we received lately, our response is always negative..... we are actually drilling worse and worse......

RC exam today, not too bad, head and shoulder above majority of my colleagues.... at least, something that can cheer me up in work lately.

Glad to have time to discuss with CI Walton regarding the OU incident, at least, we know the CI is supporting us... And I'm glad my CI addressed his view for my 'self-doubt' lately.... well.... but i think, in some ways, doubtful in myself will do me good in the long run, at least, i still have to drive to improve myself, knowing what is insufficient of me..... hope this reflection can make me a better police officer.

Night, a heavy dinner..... I can feel my six-pack silently protesting (and they do it in union..... sort of six-become-one.....) Sigh.... I must spent tomorrow night working out or else I'm in big trouble.

PS. What is time? It's something that's never enough when I'm with you.

Billy Joel - Just the way you are

Day 110

Disastrous day....

It's been some while since I actually work-out..... so my performance in today's MFT was bad.... real bad..... I now got 2 weeks before equipping myself for the hell week, will I be able to make it in time??

The afternoon was hit by sleepiness badly..... almost sleeping non-stop through the lessons......

Feeling a bit of stress on the OU test on Friday.... (and the RC exam tmr, PPAT fitness test on Friday morning..... it's simply a week full of exam)

PS. Are you sick or anything? Worried.

Day 109.

Pretty ordinary day, bar the fact that I'm so sleepy that my eye lids kept closing during the day....

Footdrill was normal....

Final revision on RC before exam....

Two useless lectures....

Glad to know that you've done okay for your exercise.

Briefing on hell week..... 14 DEC onwards..... wish me luck.

RC written exam..... feel underprepared.....

Many other tedious test and exam coming up.....

Great to spent to night in CB tonight..... PageOne is always my favourite place to visit... When will the "Lost Symbol" be published in small fonts? I hate the hard cover version >.<"

PS. YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU So full of you lately ^^

Day 108

A rather hea and ordinary day.

Footdrill in the morning..... no mood at all.....

Rushed through 3 lectures in one morning..... that's about 2/3 of lesson from Walton sir~

Afternoon.... beloved self study time..... and a bit of sports too.

It's really crazy..... when temperature rise to 18 degree celcius today.... I feel HOT..... there must be something wrong with my body.

Went out for dinner tonight..... I like starbucks.

PS. Need to sleep la~

Busy weekend.

The mess night on Friday night was fun..... shame I got DO duties on Saturday morning or else I can spent more time there.

Saturday Morning..... waking up in a cold morning only to work as DO..... taking care of every business of Police College for 8 hours..... the work is not too bad, but simply tedious.

Head out in the afternoon and be a dentist for one more time, doing some restorations and scaling.... money was so easy to get back then.... but it's a boring life.... sigh... what a dilemma.

Night spent with Jeff and Lily and Mimi for a dinner, really happy times.

I was wandering in the streets once again tonight.... 2012 was quite good, it might even be better if I wasnt so tired that I slept through some of the parts..... and Yuen Long is a place I seldomly visit...

Fallen asleep on the bus.... I dont know for how long.... I only manage to get home 7 in the morning....

Sunday.... most part of sunday was spent on my bed... as expected. Did some work (still in bed) and head out for dinner..... The Jap food tonight is quite good..... shame we got to get back so early....

Suddenly realize I got another test coming up on Tuesday.... Um.... nevermind, I'll think of ways tomorrow.

PS. It's just work, Relax.

Day 107

Life here is magical, it seems like one day ago when I first had my RC lesson, the next thing I know is I had my last lesson today..... been through revision for all the moves and methods (frankly, I cant remember most of them)..... the next lesson will be the exam.... o well.....

OU tutorial and lecture..... Want to say to the 'respected' tutor, if you want somebody's respect, earn it..... you're not dealing with children, but with capable adults who are allowed to think and treasure freedom of speech and free mind...... Think, will you?

OU exam in the afternoon..... Sociology = water blowing business..... i guess it's alright.

Mess night for PI 514...... looking forward to my passing out dinner..... hope it come soon.

PS. I guess I'm a bit like my mum.... though I dont like her approach, but she have definitely shaped me in her mould..... being overprotective and overcautious.... it's like I'm having a panic attack all the time... just so worried..... I must learn to relax a bit...
PS2. Still.... I miss you much tonight.

Day 106

Footdrill in the morning and PSUC whole day in Stanley.

Once again.... the most difficult part is not the task itself, but interpersonal-relationship.....

Was asked a fairly interesting question tonight, "Who will you shoot if you were given a revolver fully loaded?" Um.... interesting..... and tempting.....

Went for dinner with folks for Clement's departure.... it's a mixed feeling of sweet and bitter.....

OU test tomorrow..... what have I read?

PS. Someone seems unhappy tonight..... what must I do?
PS2. Life in Police College can be quite tense at times..... but remember, there's always a silver lining behind every cloud.

Day 105

Rather ordinary day.


PT session in the morning.... it's been 6 weeks since last PT lesson..... done the JCR test and 2.4 km run.... not too bad, feeling the condition today is real good (maybe it's the cold that drove me to keep running..... just want to finish the track as soon as possible....) the result is okay, considering I've only sparingly work out lately. Jump 30", Chin-up 8, Shuttle run 10X10 22.9secs (that's good improvement) and 2.4 run 10'28" (faster than before)..... I can have no complaint.....


OU in the afternoon...... what a good sleep during class.....


Micellanous exams coming up soon, the first being the OU exam on Friday....

PS. Been flipping through other's Xanga tonight.... it's interesting to know people better from their history...... really, interesting articles I came across tonight...... make me wanna read my entries in Zorpia and Blogspot too~

Day 104

A day of conflict.

Morning parade..... I am the deputy commander.... It can be a frightening experience to stand in front of such a large crowd, and giving command to them..... and the temperature today is so cold..... I cant stop my knees from shaking (literally....)

SSP assessment on leadership exercise, did my best to play the role assigned.... but really, the performance from commander is below par..... no grudge mate, just let it be.....

Revolver course in the afternoon. I never expected an 'inspector' (as they always wear this pharse on their big mouth) can be such irrational and brainless.... why on earth are you putting the blame on me? I dont fight back as I dont want to lose my cool, not because you are right. You should feel lucky that I knew what my missions here are... or else I'll kick your arse bad.

Dinner in causeway bay tonight.... Wildfire, the view is great...... shame time always flies.....

PS. I should find some time and find my cousin Janice.
PS2. It's so chilly lately, dun get cold~ ^^

Day 103

Alright..... what have I done in the weekend?

Nothing much..... cant focus on my revision.... end up going back to HKU library for study....

Decent dinner in Sai wan, my favourite place.... the 'SoHo' feeling restaurant..... shame we got to get back so early.....

It's such a windy and chilly night.

Test 4 on Monday, when I finish the paper i feel rather confident.... only when the result is released my heart is in frozen water..... 65.5 and I rank almost the last few in class..... shame.... but i really did my best to answer..... I dunno.... is it my ability? Cant stop self-questioning.....

Nonetheless.... still go out for Hot pot as dinner..... this seems to be our usual way of celebrating all pass..... the food is bad but the atmosphere is good.....

PS. Feels like '2012' lately.... the world is collapsing and I'm in the middle of it..... Time is what i needed most.

Day 102, and weekend.

Friday.... my last day as prefect.... all went okay.

Woke up early in the morning... but still.... no study done.... there's nothing on earth more important than listening to your voice...

My day was spent worrying for the 'notebook' incident..... hopefully it's all over now.

Self study and OU lessons is the best time for revision....

Friday night.... want nothing but to leave the place as soon as possible..... hanging out in my familiar surrounding of HKU, PPDH and Sai wan...... too bad I got to run early.....

Meeting with Kathy and Jonathan that night..... Glad to know things are patched up a bit now..... but still...

Old friends got reconnected tonight... I should be happy.

Saturday... nothing much.... feeling lazy....

A good time spent with grandma tonight.... sometimes.... you just need to take a bit of time out from the busy schedule and care for the people around you...

I pray and will keep praying for my dear sister~

Revision.... I hate revision...

My head is full of you...

Day 101

Dunno why but when summing up today's work I feel some anger within me.... got pissed by a bunch of my selfish and good for nothing classmates..... when can they grow up? (And it's always so unfair in here as the evil-doers receive no punishment..... what a world)

Calm down, I must use this opportunity to train up my EQ.

Rather exhausting day. Inspection parade in the morning and the whole squad is in trouble because of our instructor's fault.... and now he demand an explaination..... what can I say? Just let it be.....

Interesting video during lecture, on autopsy..... it's such brilliant surgical skill but shamefully my mates dont appreciate that..... come on, it's just a part of the job...

PSUC exercise in the afternoon..... once again..... see some negative example on how to be a leader, this acts as a good reminder to me, never ever to act the same way as they do.

Another night spent on nothing..... but I'm loving it.

PS. 0600..... what a challenge....

Day 100

Wow.... that's some progress.... I've worked for 100 days for my current job (this is also the longest period of employment in my life to-date, considering I've two short stay under different dentists).... hopefully this shall be a long career.

Once again, feeling the stress of being prefect of the intake and with exam looming closer and closer......

Spent everybit of OU time for study..... progress is not bad, but still gotta work hard. Things shall get better after the room inspection tomorrow, when I can free more time for study instead of cleaning.

Must sleep now. Later.

PS. I found the note on the candy, the same applies to you too ^^
PS2. Bei sum gei ar~~ Full support to you, commander =P

Day 99.

What should I say about today?

Nothing much..... most of the training time is spent on tedious administrative work as prefect than actual training.... shame.

Got a rehearsal for SSP inspection in the morning, night was spent tidying my room.... I can think of no reason why people like such 'artificial' procedures..... telling when you need an inspection and you work on it..... can this really train people to have self discipline? I doubt. But fine.... just play the game.

Feeling stress for study now.

I'm going to be dentist for one more day on 21st, anyone interested in being my patient?

*2.... the reason i hate tedious tasks is they ate away my precious free time..... time's so precious here and i must squeeze every bit of it to be with you.

周杰倫-浪漫手機

Day 98 *1~

Life back to normal (even back to hell) after euphoria 1 day ago.

Is the intake prefect for this week..... with an incompetent and arrogant precedssor, my duty as prefect is much much harder...... but nevermind, anything that doesnt kill me makes me stronger, I shall just treat that guy as a pathetic loser......

Overwhelmed by admin stuff and paper work lately...... i hate that when all these works cramp in and eat into my should-be self study time......

Tough luck today.... my mobile phone finally gave in after all the torture I've done to it.... He's resilient and fail to let me retrieve any single phone number from it...... good job..... I can only contact my friend through my 'memory' phonebook. (I've bought a Nokia as replacement, originally I'm aiming for N97..... but gotta wait for 2 weeks before they have stock, so i've switched for... Nokia 1650, dont know what that is? Check it out, it's a real value....... hopefully I dont need to use it for too long)

Very tired now, another day of footdrill and prefect duties await..... must sleep now.

PS. *1! Looking forward.

Corrinne May - Safe In A Crazy World

Sunday.

Sunday... an ineffective day.

Futile effort..... end up with very little study done....

Getting back to Police College at night... Overwhelmed by the upcoming prefect duties.... big headache....

In a sea of troubles, you keep me together, you're the reason of everything.

Thank you.

Operation Report

2009-11-08 0023hrs

Covert intended, but turns out overt.

Mission, fulfilled.

"To the World you maybe somebody; But to me, you are my world."

Forever Love.

Day 97 and weekend

Friday, what can I say about this friday? Nothing much.... just boring..... OU tutorials and lecture wasted the whole day.....

It's always good to meet with friends, especially with Jo and Garfield, and Jo's brother..... shared a lot of laughters and i wish Jo's bro all the best in the PC selection.

Grandma was back from Toronto and the morning was spent with family in having tea and did some shopping, I was on a shopping spree (luckily my purchase is not expensive). Originally I wanted to spent the afternoon for either work out or revision.... turns out I'm just too sleepy and took a nap.... it's refreshing but..... I'm running out of time.

Night..... spent in TST, lovely seaview.

Day 96

A heavy day.

Heavy not only because of lack of sleep last night....

But today it's the big day for some of my mates here in doing leadership exercise....

Frankly, some of them are doing above their own average and the flow is good...... but still..... one didnt make the passing mark...

On the countrary, some are obviously below par but I have no idea why he can still lay blame on others.... What a loser.....

A very gloomy day today.... all the best everyone.

Time to sleep now..... it's been a while since i get to bed before midnight.

Gotta work hard tomorrow for revision.

PS. Looking forward to Saturday.

Lecture?

Thank goodness our class is not like this in Police College.

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor

I dedicate this song to the exercise team of college.

I'll survive.

Day 95

Is suffering from post pre-hell syndrome.....

Only get the bare minimum of sleep last night, was so reluctant to wake and report on duty.... I've decided to skip breakfast to have some precious 20 minutes of sleep. Luckily the morning footdrill was cancelled and I can get some more time for rest.

The morning went okay, just some lecture and RC lesson..... can still manage to stay alive..... but the OU lecture in the afternoon was....... nevermind, did I even attend that class? The only thing I remember was the constant snoring from my colleagues and even myself..... Classic example of total collapse.

Some colleagues are going to have the leadership exercise redo tomorrow and also the day for pre-planned exercise, though I'm not the commanding officer in these case I've still fulfilled my responsibility and attended their mock practice and as a participant at night...... Well.... wish them luck tomorrow and everyone good show.

Really gotta sleep now ^^

PS. Somebody was born 21 years ago..... A great happy birthday and may all your wish come true this year~
PS2. Hope you like the present. Take care and good night =)

Day 94

Day 94 is such a long day.... if i havent fixed my numbering system i'll certainly put it as 2 days..... coz it's so eventful.....

Start off with Range course in the morning..... 42 bullets, quick successive firing and a test on moving target.... not performing good in the first 2 round but the old problem of unstable mentality get the better of me in the last few rounds.... um.... I feel I'm improving as I can appreciate my own technique more, but still need more practice.

After lunch got Tactics exercise..... the Ssgt Jimmy was quite a good teacher, he clarified some important points on handling dangerous suspect and let us have hands on practise to reinforce our learning, i was acting as the commander twice in the afternoon, learned some valuable knowledge that might save my arse someday.

The 'secret-not-so-secret' Pre Hell again.... I was feeling tired even before the night.... tonight it's less physical demanding than last time, we only do footdrill for 3 hours, but mentally.... it's torturing..... got some 'leadership game' done (with a brief dinner) and then we're asked to stare at some CCTV for observation purpose and record all that happened.... sometimes it's so quiet that you wonder if you've stared into a photo.... but sometimes ppl jamming in and you'll have a hard time...... so sleepy but dare not to sleep..... crazy.

Finally a mini-exercise concludes that day...... my feeling overall on this... well, that's life..... I dont like it.... but i do not have a chance, this is so true in police life...... and always prepare for the unexpected.....

I'm so tired now.... need to sleep.

PS. You can always think of ways to surprise me.... I'm so glad to see you tonight.

PS2. My secret..... is it still a secret?

Robbie Williams - Better Man

Once again....

Feeling myself need to learn....

Learn to let go....

Learn to get rid of indecisiveness...

Learn to be myself...

Learn to dare...

Learn to share...

And most important,

Learn to love.

Day 93.5

I count this day as 93.5 as last friday was at most a half day.....

Today was quite an eventful day, morning drill followed by PSUC 6...... feeling the stress of the exercise as the required standard for passing the exam was raised so high up...... i'm still in a transitional period to incorporate what I've learnt into real action.....

As expected, I'm the commander for one case today..... but also unexpected (but usual) that I'm the first commander to do exercise..... my brain cant function too well in the morning, was a bit slow when doing briefing but things went better as time passed by..... handled a child abuse + DV case and prevented a suicide attempt...... no major mistake but still, got a lot of (negative) feedback from sirs and madam..... nevermind, that's the path to learn.....

My colleagues were having a tougher time than me. Out of 6 exercises, apart from mine, 1 was not performed too good and the other 4 were failed...... gosh, we really need to work on it.

Had a brief dinner and then went for night exercise, this time as observer seeing how the RPCs work..... the case is straight forward but nonetheless, there's a lot to learn......

1. Use your heart when dealing with cases
2. Find cause for everything
3. Obtain details in everything
4. Clear all doubts
5. Use your resources well

This list can go on and on..... but in short, these are the basics and fundemental, they're not too hard as long as you use your heart and common sense.

Really exhausted tonight..... gotta let my brain rest now..... looking forward to range course tomorrow.

PS. Thank you for the dessert.

Avril Lavigne - I will be

Weekend.

Who can judge right from wrong?

Certainly I'm not the right person to do so.

Was confused of what happened between my friends last night... maybe I'll never know.... but it's giving me enough frustration and headache.

Can reasoning solve all problems? Even emotional ones? I doubt that.

Thank you for listening to my worries when I'm troubled. Please forgive me for being so pessimistic.... but it's been too eventful and I'm slow to react and adapt.... things will get better someday soon, hopefully.

It's been a long weekend and it'll be a long week coming up.... I need to be in my best shape.... better sleep soon.

Green Day - She's a Rebel

Not quite day 93 and weekend.

Day 93 is not a meaningful day.

Whole day spent on swimming gala, which I didnt take part..... Did nothing much but to watch and occassionally napping......

Night was a bit better, having a BBQ with colleague inside the college.....

Went out like a night drifter in causewaybay..... I missed the days when I'll go feed the cats once in a while in Victoria Park. Absolutely tired and sleep non-stop and missed a few calls.

Saturday, wake up only around 4pm ( But it's good to know somebody wake up even later than me)...... Head out for gym in causewaybay once again and later in the night dinner with friends..... sharing with them what happened lately...... we've picked up our usual habit of buying drinks and head to victoria park for mini-party kind of stuff....... but this time it's quite an eventful night as my friends become drunk while I'm sober..... I can only convince myself my training is effective and imposed with a reason..... to escort some drunk people from the park to Pak Sha Road, where I can dump them in a cheap motel room...... sigh.... I dunno.... gotta check with them again tomorrow...... (btw, I think I deserve many meals from them because of this favour..... I think dinner and dessert buffet is not a bad option.)

Gotta sleep now, later....