Sometimes.... life is just puzzling... gives no direction at all...

I gotta find my own stand.

I am just here to prove the skeptical wrong.

Naive and arrogant as it may sound.

I feel good about it.

What's going on?

There is just this thing in my mind that keep me awake all night.

Please... no more.

哭...

很想, 能找一天大哭一場...

不為什麼, 只是自身的一種感覺吧.

哭... 代表我對世界還在乎...

很怕, 當淚乾了時, 心也隨之死了...

People and things that i love~

Love my sister more and more... Dont want to spoil your expectations... I dont know what future lies ahead, I can only promise you i'll be a good 'dental student' for the time being, you had my words on that.

Easy: a term to describe things you do when you're determined. (I shall use this term more and more often)

Sometimes, good music is without language barrier... use to like this song before, and now fallen in love with it when realizing its meaning.

"Utada Hikaru - First Love"

Time to sleep again, hope i'll have the time to write tomorrow.

Gratitudes.

Thanks to my friends... for once more reminded me that 'friends are friends for life'.... no matter how far we are apart, our bonds are always there, it's uniting us together somehow.

Maybe it's my own good mood... it seems to make my delivery of treatment easier.... feel quite confident in doing Paedodontic work now..... I might not have a good knowledge on the dental things, but i do have good hands and good heart, show me once and I can do it good and clean, that's my strength. (It's all about learning my own strengths and weaknesses... know it well and i'm more prepared)

Spent an interesting 16 hours with my dental colleague... the following photos should be self-explainatory. Thanks them so much~ We had so much fun tonight. (and so much salmon sashimi as well.... 6 lbs for 5 people?? and japanese prawns.... a total of 70 pieces?? And the nice birthday cake~~ Gosh, no wonder i feel so full now ^^)

And I've proved once again why "Jenga" is not one of the game designed for dentist.... a game can only end when there is no more possible move... that really took too long....

Just hope everyday can get as good as today~

PS. Thanks to those who have called or mailed. Sincerely. Let's meet some time soon ^^

My floormates~

Hate to think of this correlation..... but this video certainly reminds me of the time when i had meal with my floormates (especially the previous hallmates)

Enjoy the last 10 seconds of the clip~

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to myself.

Thanks to every call and word.... they're already my best present.

Thank You all.

"祝我生日快樂"

林依晨 - 孤單北半球

I love this song.

用你的早安陪我　吃晚餐　記得把想念　存進撲滿
我　望著滿天星　在閃　聽牛郎對織女說　要勇敢

不怕我們在地球　的兩端　看你的問候　騎著魔毯
飛　用光速飛到我面前　你讓我看到北極星有十字星作伴

少了你的手臂當枕頭　我還不習慣
你的望遠鏡望不到　我北半球的孤單
太平洋的潮水跟著地球　來回旋轉
我會耐心的等　等你有一天靠岸

少了你的懷抱當暖爐　我還不習慣
E給你照片看不到　我北半球的孤單
世界再大兩顆真心就能　互相取暖
想念不會偷懶　我的夢通通給你保管

不怕我們在地球　的兩端　看你的問候　騎著魔毯
飛　用光速飛到我面前　你讓我看到北極星有十字星作伴

少了你的手臂當枕頭　我還不習慣
你的望遠鏡望不到　我北半球的孤單
太平洋的潮水跟著地球　來回旋轉
我會耐心的等　等你有一天靠岸

少了你的懷抱當暖爐　我還不習慣
E給你照片看不到　我北半球的孤單
世界再大兩顆真心就能　互相取暖
想念不會偷懶　我的夢通通給你保管

少了你的手臂當枕頭　我還不習慣
你的望遠鏡望不到　我北半球的孤單
太平洋的潮水跟著地球　來回旋轉
我會耐心的等　等你有一天靠岸

少了你的懷抱當暖爐　我還不習慣
E給你照片看不到　我北半球的孤單
世界再大兩顆真心就能　互相取暖
想念不會偷懶　我的夢通通給你保管

Morning Lectures.

Lectures can be fun.... but not so fun if it's schedule on a good ole Saturday morning....

Had spent the night with my ex-floormates.... If there's a life I'm seeking for... please make it a Chivas life... that's certainly simple enough to understand.

Life is nothing more than repeating cycles.... Some born, some die.... Some love, some hate... the best way to enjoy it is to let the feelings flow.... it's not cool when you can hide your feelings and pretend you're okay.... you knew that's a lie... When you can still smile and cry for your feelings, you're truely blessed.

There is a time for everything.

There is a time for everything.

And today, it's time for tidying and writing up the paper and assignments.

Start to hate working at night....

More precisely... working from the morning till so late at night....

Time wasting project all day long....

Thanks to You Tube, for providing me with good music when at work.

Mika - My Interpretation

Limitations...

Got so much wanna write, but so little time...

Another Monday. A day to get back to the routine life rhythm.

Skills and Knowledge... It's like the 2 sides of a bucket... if either side is short, the bucket will keep on spilling.... and what's the whole point in pouring the water in?? Worth to think again in my case....

Give the heart to patients, and they can feel it. Today it's the best ever PDO lesson i've had.... must remember how it feels today.... (sadly, human memory are short-lived, just look at most of the practicing dentist and doctors, you'll know what i mean)

Had an anxiety attack at lunchtime today.... want nothing but to isolate myself...

Pretty normal (and bored) in the afternoon class....

Went for a doctor's consultation and had a hair cut today. The Neurologist, despite all the tests ordered, still cannot make a conclusion.... it's more and more extreme in the differential diagnosis, either it's totally normal, or it could be one hell of a problem, like those extremely rare disease~

Want to admend to what i've worte a few nights before.... HK is not a palce that's culture-intolerent.... actually, on tonight's stay in Kowloon City, i've found some fun places with different culture~

Had some really great Muslim cusine at night, and a dessert from Syria... enjoyed some great musics from all over the world..... as long as you look into this lovely place, you'll find something new~~

Talking about new, found a new singer with great music: Mika, the singer from UK, worth listening~

And of coz, Avril Lavigne is still the best, got her albume today.... great~

Really shall sleep now.... still got a lot wanna write, but that's life.... till next time~

Too much will kill~

Too much will kill you?

Too much alcohol certainly kills (or do they simply make you dumb?)

Too much stress cripple you.

Too much love will kill you (according to the song by Queen)

I guess... there must be exceptions, right?

There is nothing as 'too much' friendship... it's always great to spend time with friends,

Same as 'too much' happiness.... for they're never enough.

It's been a wonderful day today.

Co-operation or Conflict?

Wanna experience life...

How life will be when living in a multi-culture country (please note, in my regard, HK is never a place with different culture, it's just some stupid majority prejudicing against minority)...

How interesting life can be when getting to know friends who have a totally different cultural background than you do?

Um... i guess i've picked my next travel destination.

Avril Lavigne Rulz!!!

Listened to her latest albume tonight. Her best albume ever~

Simple love her so much~

Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
no I won't give in

Keep holdin' on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just, stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
there's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend yeah yeah

Keep holdin' on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just, stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through

We'll make it through

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change trust in me
Whatever's meant to be
Will work out perfectly

Keep holdin' on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Keep holdin' on
Keep holdin' on
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could say
nothin you could do
nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Cry a tear for me and I will die for that special person.

No more sorry ever in my life again... for they are proof of lacking faith.

林宇中 - 旋律

Touching MV...

愛，是在別人的要求中，看到自己付出的不足.....

你是眼裡的音樂 最動心的歌
你播著 全世界突然亮了

多麼實在的感覺 望著你的臉
這一刻 我到了被人遺忘的永遠

在陌生的街 天讓我們遇見
像迷路的人找到了回家的路線

你的美麗我要珍惜 昨天會忘記
是誰遺失了你 我願陪著你找回自已

當你姓名化作旋律在我腦海裡
我已確定 那個人就是你
窩在我心裡最動聽的Melody

Eternal Clerking

Um.... I shall remeber to take all the details when doing medical clerking...

Interesting~

Worth to share.

The following is actually one of the course work me and my colleagues did when i was in year 2... when checking the computer today i suddenly found this in one of the old folder... i guess this might be kind of interesting to share here (Note: no plagiarism allowed ^^), especially just after Chung Yeung Festival.... dunno how i wrote this thing when i was in year 2... i guess i'll make a good Arts or Journalism student at that time... Nevermind...

Shopping for Funeral?

Introduction

A funeral is a ceremony marking a person's death. Funerary customs comprise the complex of beliefs and practices used by a culture to remember the dead, from the funeral itself, to various monuments, prayers, and rituals undertaken in their honor. These customs vary widely between cultures, and between religious affiliations within cultures.

The funerals in Hong Kong, apart from deeply associated with religious beliefs about the nature of death and the existence of an afterlife, also have important psychological, sociological, and symbolic functions for the survivors. With the great influence of Chinese traditional culture and Confucianism, funeral has evolved from just serving the physical purpose of burial to rituals that represent the respect their family members had for the deceased. Funerary rites and customs are concerned not only with the preparation and disposal of the body, but also with the well-being of the survivors and with the persistence of the spirit or memory of the deceased.

In a conventional funeral setting, the family members of the deceased have to perform a tedious array of burial rituals and do the necessary preparation, ranging from the dressing up for the deceased body; selection of burial method, whether to be buried or cremated; the way the mourning is conducted, in which religious believe that could range from Taoist to Buddhist; selection of coffin; design of the funeral hall; and offering to deceased. Among all these, we became particularly interested in the paper offerings made to the dead. Not only are they of high artistic value, burning of such paper offerings is also one of the most commonly performed death rituals in Hong Kong.

We have interviewed several of those in the paper offering business in hope to search for the meaning behind the paper offering and the future of this mysterious industry.

Paper Offering

“People in Hong Kong love paper offering,” proclaimed a paper-offering shop owner. To understand this phenomenon, we have to first look at the symbolic meaning behind such items. First of all, it is very much related with the images of afterlife the Chinese have in mind. In traditional Chinese folklores and believes, people, once they are dead, will have their souls or spirit continue to exist in an underworld, where the lifestyle and the need for the souls remained unchanged from the people alive. This creates the need for the paper offering to satisfy the need of the deceased. The family members of the deceased, in order to show their care to their departed loved ones, will try their best to help the deceased to adapt to the life in the underworld; one way of doing so is through the paper offering. In psychological theories explained such ritual process as a manifestation of fear and guilt related to the inevitable confrontation with death and as a mechanism to help mourners come to terms with their loss.

In the upcoming sections, we are going to cover more on the different varieties of paper offering available.

Past and Present of Funeral Shopping Business

As we have interviewed three of the big firm from the funeral shopping business, they all agreed that the nature of the funeral shopping business change a lot from the past until now.
In the past, people tended to buy more traditional things for the people who passed away. But, in these days, it is totally different. People tended to order much more new things than the past and even some requested for a tailored made paper-offering. They said that it is time for them to change the things in the shop. Many people now preferred some new things like Rolex Watch, Gucci‘s Handbag, Play Station 2 etc. It is a big change in the funeral shopping business. From this change we may conclude that people believed that people will go to another similar world as the one we are living now after death. So, people here chose to burn things which they used or liked before they passed away in order to maintain a good life quality in the other world or even a better one.
Secondly, it is hard for the funeral shopping business to carry on as competition is getting much more excited. Many people now enter the market and the demand has no change at all or even it is getting small, it may cause a severe competition. As the trend of buying things for funeral has changed, it made the trading environment worse.
People now tended to buy more in funeral and buy less or just some conditional in the daily time such as Ching Ming festival and Chung Yeung festival. As the demand is getting less, it made the competition for the funeral shopping business much more intense. Also, huge amount from China‘s supplier make the trading environment much more competitive one. That is, Salary for workers in China is much lower than the one in Hong Kong and the materials in China also cheaper than in Hong Kong. These two factors lower the production cost of paper offering, so, it may affect the demand for the goods which made in Hong Kong. From this trend, we can foresee that the supply will soon depends on China’s factory, and the one in Hong Kong will be eliminate in times.

Lastly, it is about the problem of continuity. From the interview, we know that there are not many new blood entering in this business especially for the handmade paper offering. Skills of making paper offering have nobody to succeed. The youngsters now even don’t know what to do and they just following their parents when buying things for the death. But, the interviewers are all quite optimistic that they don’t afraid of the new trend of shopping for funeral as they think that the tradition is already deeply rooted in Chinese mind so people will keep on follow the tradition to burn things for the death .

“Excuse me, may I ask what I should burn in my father’s funeral?” We were interrupted by a mid-aged man when we were having an interview with the shopkeeper of the paper offering store. In the modern society, funeral rituals are becoming more and more formalized. Let’s trace back the evidence and reasons of the formalization from paper offering.

In Hong Kong, many people are actually lacking of knowledge about funeral rituals, especially the younger generation. In the past, cultural and traditional background influenced people very much. Strong believes have developed among them which drove them to persist with every details and procedures in funeral rituals. So nowadays when preparing for a funeral, most of them will follow the advice of their elders. Youngsters do not know the actually meaning of those props. Like paper money, there are nearly a hundred different types and each type serve for different purposes. But who cares about these now?

As modern people are well-educated, they think paper offering in a more scientific and practical view. It is not convincing to say that the real things would establish in the underworld. Many of them realized that paper crafts will only become carbon dioxide, water, dust or some toxic gases after burning causing air pollution. Also, it would cause air pollution, land pollution, material depletion etc. Paper offering are also regarded as burning money. All paper buildings, paper servants, paper cars are going to be incinerated at the end. So why do we still burn those paper offering?

Actually it is observable that the nature of burning paper offering has changed and becomes more and more formalized. People burn because they are told to burn. They do not care what is going to be burnt, but just burn something. They choose packages in funeral shops rather than searching for the items they need. There are pressures from relatives because for those who refuse to do so would be regard as unfilial. But does it mean filial if we burn something? Also, they burn because others burn. It is the problem of face. When people saw others paid a certain amount of money on one’s funeral, they must do something in order to be comparable. The scale of the funeral rituals and preparation is a show-off. Like movie stars, their funerals’ expenses often exceed some millions of dollars.

By investigating the business of paper offering, it is notified that the trend would become formalized. It is not doubtful towards the bereaved people for their filial heart, but the concern is that do we think it is a suitable way? Or just copy from the past meaninglessly? How well can the paper offering business flourish in such an ever-changing Hong Kong? Will this combination of art form and psychological relieve product continue to exist with time?

We do not have a definite answer of the above-raised questions. Even though we do regard such incineration of paper offering is nothing but formalities, the formalities would not fade out because it is a way for people to relieve their grief of the lost ones. This practice will go on unless a more effective way of relieving grief is present, which might be decades, if not longer, away from now.

Improvement programme.

Feeling lazy in my holiday...

Done nothing lately but to meet some friends and family members...

Enjoyed one fine afternoon with Sally for High tea in an unusual but lovely place...

Kevin is back from Australia again... It's always great meeting him.

My cousin Janice is back for her Easter holiday and both grandma and granddad are doing fine lately.... it's really been some time since i felt so comfortable and cozy at home~

Love working at night... that's the time when you can think undisturbed and have a quiet environment.... just found out that i got the potential to be a good handyman.... on my stay in granny's place, i've fixed the windows, the door and the cupboard for them.... the repair might not be perfect, but using resources you found at home to fix those things give me a feel-good feeling, and it's a great challenge too.... just hope that those things can last long~

Had spent the last couple of days tuning up my computer, it's now good as new..... installed the new Windows and upgraded several component (sound card in particular as the new windows do not have the driver for my obsolete sound card any more....), also bought myself a new printer, this shall help in the revision and my work.... it's really hard time doing all the installation again, especially adapting to the new interface of Windows Vista.... took me quite a while to get familiar with the new command... but the Vista is much better than the previous version of Windows, at least in terms of performance..... no more annoying beep and blue screen from clashes in Windows 95, the system is stable for most of the time and with better protection (though the speed is compromised.... is my computer really that bad??) The interface looks nice as well... but i'd recommend you to hold your plans for upgrade till a bit later, when they've finished all the update in drivers and softwares... for now, i still cant get my Outlook running on my computer yet...

[Just a little side-track here: This Window Vista is claimed to be the best protected Windows ever.... but still, they're nothing more than a bunch of codes written by human.... As long as some people can write it.... there exist people who can crack it..... let's see who can finally win this tug-of-war game....]

Enjoyed a few movies lately.... i've watched those movie at least once before, but everytime when i view it again i felt differently.

"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", finally can realize the whole story... Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet are great (expecting the new show of Jim, the "13").... unexpectedly found out that the pretty girl playing "Mary, the receptionist of Lacunar" is actually Kristen Dunst..... that still dont ring a bell??? How about the Spider Girl? No wonder she look so familiar to me.... (PS. Eijah Wood is playing in this movie too, in case you dont know)

"Armageddon", This is one of my all time favourite.... its heroism and Americanism excluded, really a star studded movie, apart from Bruce Willis, Liv Tyler and Ben Affleck, the unexpected cast also include Owen Wilson, Michael Clarke Duncan (the one from Green Mile).... it also got some very nice theme song for this movie "I dont wanna miss a thing - Aerosmith" and "Leaving on a Jet Plane - John Denver"... excellent movie

I hate being sick...

In the same time... I hate losing.

Feeling somewhat better....

Enjoyed a practice with floormates in hockey... preparing for tomorrow's hockey game (never bad to give a try to everything, right?)

Please wish me luck~

"我的世界將被摧毀
或許頹廢也是　另一種美"

控制不來...

Help needed...

Some feelings lately.... and they're not good...

Abandoned?

Beset?

Cynical?

Distrust?

Emaciated?

Frustrated?

Goofy?

Hysterical?

Interrupted?

Jaded?

Knavish?

Lunatic?

Mistrustful?

Nefarious?

Offended?

Poignant?

Querulous?

Reckless?

Soulless?

Troubled?

Underachieving?

Virulent?

Wasteful?

Xtreme?

Young-thought?

Zagged?

So confused.... Just want to search for my own self.

The Pursuit of Happiness.

"I thought about Thomas Jefferson writing that Declaration of Independence. Him saying that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I thought about how he knew to put the 'pursuit' in there, like no one can actually have happiness. We can only pursue it." - Christopher Gardner - The Pursuit of Happyness

Pretty inspirational.

Looking for my own definition.

Quite a number of good movies lately, now expecting "Reign Over Me"... starred by 2 of my best loved actor, Don Cheadle and Adam Sandler.... Great expectations.

Don Cheadle is playing a dentist in this movie, searching for his goals in life.... I guess.... I can feel him.... it's really puzzling sometimes.