Still in O camp.

Like the term "novice" lately....

A novice might not know all..... but at least he's daring to try..... that's learning, right?

Totally drained...

Stronger and stronger feeling that i am just forcing myself to fake a smile on my face...

I just cant enjoy the moment...

there's been too much on my mind lately...

So worried about grandpa... and so as the upcoming semester....

And even more... I just cant handle my relationship matter correctly....

Too Much Love Will Kill You - Queen

I'm just the pieces of the man I used to be
Too many bitter tears are raining down on me
I'm far away from home
And I've been facing this alone for much too long

Oh, I feel like no-one ever told the truth to me
About growing up and what a struggle it would be
In my tangled state of mind
I've been looking back to find where I went wrong

Too much love will kill you
If you can't make up your mind
Torn between the lover and the love you leave behind
You're headed for disaster 'cos you never read the signs
Too much love will kill you every time

I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be
And it seems like there's no way out of this for me
I used to bring you sunshine
Now all I ever do is bring you down
How would it be if you were standing in my shoes
Can't you see that it's impossible to choose
No there's no making sense of it
Every way I go I'm bound to lose

Too much love will kill you
Just as sure as none at all
It'll drain the power that's in you
Make you plead and scream and crawl
And the pain will make you crazy
You're the victim of your crime
Too much love will kill you every time

Yeah too much love will kill you
It'll make your life a lie
Yes too much love will kill you
And you won't understand why
You'd give your life you'd sell your soul
But here it comes again
Too much love will kill you
In the end, In the end

尷尬...

So exhausted... O camp still in progress..... It's like a war everytime when it's meal time.... non-stop cooking beforehand and tidying afterwards.... anyways.... praises from the group grandson and daughters are my reward.

Luckily my new trial "curry chicken" goes okay in front of them..... Thanks mum for the guidance.

PS. Unexpected time, unexpected place... first time after the aftermath... it's already the best outcome..... what more can i ask for...

Wish you all the best.

Back.

To accept someone losing from my life is so hard, but you seem to be further and further away.

What can i do to keep you back?

Thanks to my WUS chongmates, you guys are wonderful.

State of mind.

It's getting harder and harder to speak my mind...

There she is.... but then.... word just failed to come out.

My true feeling is more and more concealed under a mask...

I wished all can go back, when you're new to university..... when i can look at you and share my thoughts.

找不到 - S.H.E.

曾經相信　你就是我的唯一
忘記思考　生命其他的路徑
不知不覺　身陷愛的濃霧裡

竟然發覺　我的視線已經漸漸不清晰
於是我就這樣　茫然失去了你的蹤跡
翻開地圖竟是過去一堆　沒用的註記

愛的方向找不到　我在你心中還剩多少
我的眼淚不重要　只要你記得回來就好
外面世界吵又鬧　你要小心照顧自己好
沒有了我牽手和擁抱　請你千萬保重　好不好

Bruxism...

Dont even have to wake before i knew how severely did i brux last night... sore TMJ.... if i go on like this..... i might crack all my teeth even before school resumes......

Thanks Horace for the chat this afternoon..... feel so much better..... i might never reach your stage for you've experienced so much..... study together when school start la.

Like this lyric so much.

"有時候愛是一種眼神　趕走所有苦悶 　
是你讓我記得自己不是一個人 　
有你在甚麼都有可能　因為彼此信任 　
真的愛情不需要保證"

眼神 - 孫燕姿

Bitter...

As expected.

Kind of expected accident to happen in the O camp.... but never imagine it's going to happen this quick......

Get well soon la great-granddaughter...... hope to see you in the remaining days of O camp....

(More sarcastically speaking.... if each year we have one people admitted to the A&E, then this year we have used our quotas, our group is going to be just fine in the remaining days, right?)

Feel so hurt..... sometimes.... seeing the fact gives 100 times impact.... However, i am not giving up... Man of faith? Maybe.

Hurt So Bad - 張敬軒

哭了 才發現自己真的受傷了
你曾對我說你永遠是我的。
為了愛情我把自己的幸福都忘了
你快樂 我就快樂

也許 是我們彼此都太年輕了
總是特別容易沉溺在愛情裡
每當我再次看到身邊美麗的花火
你已離開我 我還是想對你說

Baby I love u so much, 你走了我的心在淌血
Baby u hurt me so bad, 想要你回到我的世界
Baby I love u so much, 你給我的諾言已經瓦解
Baby u hurt me so bad

只要我們都愛著
無論多苦都值得
說好的你怎麼忘記了

PS. If on this earth, there exist man with fiery, sunny character, then there must be opposite.... and i am willing to be the man of moon and ice.... I'll wait.... till the time when day turns to night and blizzard storm this earth.... someday.

Lost and Found...

The O camp has finally started.... it has also signified the end of my summer vacation.....

Was in my 4th Hall O camp already..... wow.... i wonder whether i'll have the chance for the fifth one.... all of these experiences seems just yesterday..... so missed the days.....

Was so surprised to find my group emblem (the group which i am in charged of in my year 2) in a descreted corner of 6th floor pantry.... i guess you just cant understand how delighted i am coz i have been searching for that emblem for ages.... though it look a bit old and shabby right now, nonetheless i'll treat it well coz it make me remind of a wonderful experience i had in my hall life...... 失而復得..... feel so glad i have this lovely second chance.

Something has surely brightened my day up.... un.... i knew i am right for doing what i am doing now.... it's worth it.

Time to check on the dessert i am cooking..... shall write again soon.

PS. Glad to have the chance for a full-chong reunion of WUS members, see you all then.
PS2. Have a glance at my time table...... OMG..... 9 session a week? You must be kidding me.

TMD

Um..... something's wrong lately....

Feel so ill lately..... also it seems that i have some sign of TMD on my left temperomandibular joint lately...... can it be stress related?

願我可以學會放低你 - 何韻詩

Crazy.

Crazy experience only occurs on crazy people.... and i am sure i am one of them.

Just realized that i have a undisplaced fracture along the base of the greater trochanter of my left femur..... might never caught it without the use of MRI..... I have no recollection on how i pick up such a damage. (well, normally a fracture should hurt like hell...... but i just dont feel much pain..... maybe something more serious is troubling me lately.....) I now have nothing to do with it cause it require no treatment at all (partly because i have left it unattentioned for too long that part of it heals spontaneously), all i can do now is some physiothearpy to keep my muscles strong enough to protect my bones.....

I must be in my best condition on 17th of September for the selection..... I'm now on a extra-tough recovery programme..... 2 weeks to go.....

O camp is going to start tomorrow..... great expectations.

煩...

"煩哪煩哪煩得不能呼吸
煩哪煩哪煩得沒有力氣
煩哪 我煩哪

煩哪煩哪煩得不敢相信
煩哪煩哪煩得歇斯底里
煩哪 我煩哪"

煩 - 林曉培

Sick, again.

Sorry to my friends, I was in such a terrible condition when i saw you today.

Glad to meet Jeff today, who has been gone for almost 1 whole year..... you dont look any different from last year..... we'll have the chance to meet again in mid-Sept. Happy vacation in the Philippines.

Unexpectedly ran into Jamie and Joesphine today..... take care my friends.

Was so tired today that i actually doze off in different places today...... during lunch..... while waiting for MTR.... and even when i was taking the MRI..... just a place too cozy for sleep (i guess i'll do the same in PPDH anyways)

Night with Kennon.... it's always a heavy responsibility to be a good 'senior' in hall, i shall try my best.

There is nothing better when a cat approach you gleefully.... had this wonderful experience in a park in Sai Wan..... such a lovely kitten.... dont know when i'll see you again.

Feeling sick now.... all things i see is blurred..... terrible....

Inevitable spending....

Found one reason why i should seek for specialist degree when i graduate.... for they can just look at some radiographs and say something that even a GP know and charge you for consultation fee (BTW, it's a lot of consultation fee anyways....) Um..... No comment really.

Finally opted to take the MRI in a private setting tomorrow..... cant believe such a simple diagnostic procedure can cost so much.....

A candle gives the brightest light right before it extinguish..... should anything bad happen, i'll leave my mark in history before i disappear......

Went to give tutorial in the afternoon.... guess it's the last lesson before O camp.....

Tomorrow is reserved for friends. Jeff is finally back from the States. And i have a dinner reservation with my beloved senior Kennon..... tomorrow is going to be a great La Sallian Day.

Time to jog now..... shall write again soon.

Drunk....

First time ever staying in other's hall...

Thanks Chow Fai for providing places for rest.....

In Swire Hall now with Chow Fai, Horace and Jacky..... most of them sleeping like hell under the influence of alcohol (Jacky especially..... who is vomiting non-stop....)

Went for dinner in SOHO with them tonight..... nice restaurant.... unexpectly went to the reunion of "Chun Chi Wong" in CausewayBay and spent some time there before heading to Lot 23 (a bar which one of my tutor is the owner.... He's so kind that he got so many shots for us..... most of us were down tonight.... including me, CF, Horace, Jacky, Hon Ki and Ceci, Pec and Chiu Man....) Wonderful night with them.... sometime a night like this is all we need to rejuvenate our friendship..... drink so much that i can only barely stay awake and put this enry.....

Only realize it's never a good way to relieve stress by alcohol.... coz it's only bringing me more trouble than good....

Troubled.....

Out of my mind....

Once again.... did things before really think about it carefully.... but somehow, deep down in my heart, i knew this is right.... though it may sound stupid.... but i feel good about it.

There are too many things that cant be explained.... maybe i'll just act according to what my heart told me so.

Totally stressed out.

Finally back~

After 3 days of non-stop travelling and sight seeing and spontaneous 'excitation' of my groupmate... the lovely tour to china with my friends has finally come to an end..... just feel lucky to be in this "RC guys" tour (i named it.... coz in our group we've got Rachel (R) and Creamy (C) and the guys like me, Fai, Black and Hon Ki.... pretty well suited, right?)

Travelling with these people are fantastic.... we've got so many wild ideas during the tour and we actually tried out some of them in the trip.... the tour itself is quite good..... we've got good hotels to stay in and some of the activities are real good..... a very relaxing 3 days spent....

I shall upload the photos as soon as possible.... so many funny pics taken....

Never expected it's such a difficult task to find computer with internet access in Mainland..... next time if i ever go back, i am sure i'll bring along my own laptop.... that'll save a lot of trouble....

Hope we're going to have a trip like this soon......

On a trip now

O well..... just wanna say that i am still alive in China.... life here is not too good but i do have a lot of good friends around me that make the trip wonderful..... i shall write more about it once i get back tomorrow......

Leaving.

Will be out of town for 3 days.

If leaving is for coming back.... I doubt where is the true place i belong.....

Said and done.

Things are always easier said than done.

There are things that i cant do... or maybe it's i dont want to do.... I knew i have been selfish.... but please let me.... that's the only reason for my presence...

不要對他說 - 張信哲

Gone for good.

Have been to the Dental O camp this year..... pretty fun and the freshmen are pretty normal..... Thanks my brothers (horace and CF) and Angela for spending the night at the pier...... shall have the chance to chat again before school resumes.....

Totally exhausted after the O camp..... now start to worry about the upcoming 10 days Hall O camp which will start real soon~

I shall leave for China 2 days later...... maybe you can leave me message, i'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Dont know when i'll put my next entry here...... maybe it'll be quite a while later....

For some reasons, my desire of going wandering abroad has intensified once again....

飄流教室 - 古巨基

Limitatations...

Went to Ocean Park today with SPOC family...... it's kinda fun and i insist.... the rides are nothing, there's no point not trying them~~ anyways..... have tried something new today, like taking video while playing the 'Abyss' (maybe i shall put them on Youtube?) Thanks to my friends who have shared a wonderful day with me.

I use to think i should set any limit for myself..... cause the limits are meant to be challenged (that's what i used to think). But now currently engaged in some limitations on my body.... no matter how hard i trained.... there still feels like some distance with the pro-athletes..... when can i shorten the distance? (and better to be before mid-september.... before the selection begins).....

My muscle hurts cause i have put on three times the normal training effort tonight... shall catch some sleep now for the regeneration..... will write soon.

PS. I have bought the annual pass for ocean park..... do find me if you're going there~

Acquaintance.

Once again, despite for the seemingly chaotic sleeping schedule, i am having a perfect normal and ordinary life.... (i must blame the prolonged bed rest starting from a few days ago..... i can no longer sleep in normal times.....) (i'm still having a slight fever.... but i guess there's not much i can do about it now.... must wait till my body adapts to it)

Thursday..... went to give tutorial.... pretty normal...

Friday.... Went for a Reunion with my primary school classmates (and also with my class mistress in 6D, Miss Ngan) in Jordan...... counting the days.... it's exactly 10 years since i left my primary school...... 10 years..... a lot has happened in this 10 years.....

There are some of my classmates which i havent seen since the day i left La Salle Primary School.... but friendship is something special like this... you might not exactly recall how your old friend look.... but you'll always remember the good thing about him..... it's such a wonderful night that we share a lot of our precious memories and laughters together~~

Hopefull we will meet each other more and more frequently (Thanks Charles, Alan, Wan Chen Pong, Sunny, Yeung Chai Pang, Keung Ho Seng, Hui Chun Ying and Che Man Hon for tonight~)

Had a brief chat with brother Jason tonight..... glad to know that he's enjoying his job really much.... All the best my brother~ Have a wonderful weekend.

Defeated.

As usual.... the familiar feeling haunts me after the different camps..... Headache, muscle pain.....

Only this time.... non-stop bed rest and Panadol no longer work.

I must survive.

I just need.... some more luck?

Feels like in battle for the last 2 days..... i guess i have got post-war syndrome already....

Woke in the afternoon and gave tutorial this evening..... pretty much an ordinary day except for my visit to the medical doctor.

Current Ddx: AVN (ICD-10: M87) with some degree of muscle wasting.

Um.... forgot exactly what are the figures for prevalance of AVN..... i can only sure that it should be pretty low.... and the main cause is mostly idiopathic.

Shall take a MRI soon to confirm.

Feeling old....

More and more realize i am no longer the same me as in Year 1 and 2.....

Feeling my body can no longer carry me through 2 or 3 sleepless days.... as evidenced in this touch camp......

After a full night of sharing..... all i can do is to cook the breakfast and then do the dishes before i collasp..... skipped the last part of the touch camp..... it's kind of wasted... but then, i guess i have tried my best in 'promoting' hall life to them..... and their feedback seems quite positive... hope it's going to be fine.....

Was awakened later in the afternoon for the evaluation of the freshmen and overall evaluation of the programme...... have just finished.... I guess i deserve my good sleep now.... goodnight~ Shall write again soon.

In touch camp

As promised.... i am now literally burning my life in the different O camps, starting from today.

Today it's the touch camp of RC Lee hall..... hoping through the camp the freshmen can have a taste of hall life before they decide which hall to choose (or maybe to rethink whether to get in hall or not)..... the programme is more or less like the previous years (meaning that you cant expect me to have the same enthusiasm like before)..... but luckily our group seems quite fine and there's not much for me to worry about.... i can basically enjoy myself in the camp, doing what i am suited best to do, just give a helping hand when the team needs that......

It's really a joyful day today.... hope the freshmen can be inspired and share my thoughts.

Life-Burner.....

Maybe my last few post before i start to burn my life in different O camps~

Thanks James for calling today.... it's glad to know you're okay.

Become more and more intolerant towards people and things..... Conflict-prone lately.... maybe it's the stress.....

Finally cut my hair..... feels like one year ago....

The touch camp will soon start.... i'll write more after it....

PS. To Horus: thanks for the message. We are brothers bonded by blood-pact. Glad to have you around.

To my dear groupmates

I want to dedicate this post to some very wonderful groupmates i have in dental faculty....

I must apologize to Rachel that we have been groupmates for 3 years already...... I have never written anything about you in my blog (maybe i have in year 1.... but just a word or two)

Got an unexpected chance to chat with them tonight.... just a casual dinner, very relaxed manner~

Learned so much about how people see me before....

Never expected rachel is the one who knows-it-all in the group..... maybe we are all too deceived by your apparantly unintelligent appearence..... thanks for sacrificing so much in keeping our group together......

Thanks for your advice given..... i guess it's always better to have advice from a gals' stand poing regarding the relationship issues.....

Just wanna quote a pharse from Horace (who's unfortunately not here tonight.... guess he's now in Nepal somewhere....) "我學會了甚麼是朋友"..... Thanks Chow Fai and Rachel.

Take care my friends..... we shall meet again soon.

PS. I'll soon be leaving HK for a few days..... change itself is not bad, it only depends on how you react to changes.

I-day

So tired.... but it's worth it.....

Helped in the Informations day today..... seeing so many freshmen.... greeting them and showing them our hall over and over again..... trying to promote what i think it's joyful to them... I've done my part.... the others are left for them to decide.

I hate taking advantage of people.
An eye for an eye.... maybe that's better.

Fruitful.

Had a long day today..... but feeling good.

Woke early in the morning for a game of basketball with my ex-floormates.... it's such a hot day... really like the days in secondary school (anyways, i guess the last time i really played a 3 on 3 was in Form 7 already).... made some impossible shots, also missed some important ones..... well~~ It's been real fun~

Head for tutorial in the afternoon, then head back to Hall for Informations Day briefing, it's actually the first time i ever help the hall in preparation of I day (my previous years was mainly spent on clubs and ICA activitites~).... i guess i'll be as excited as the freshmen tomorrow~ (really wanted to know how my next next chong are doing~)

It's been really weird for me and Lo Kai to keep in touch so infrequently, when'll you be free?

PS. It's not my usual norm for me to leave post script for someone whom i'm not too familiar with... but this time i shall make this special exception cause that guy really piss me off.... this is to one of the junior of mine (both in La Salle and Dental this year).... if you are desperate to get into medic, fine. Everyone do have their own values, for me, i feel fine about my own profession, please at least pay some respect to your senior..... explore more about this world and THINK before you say your words for i found them very insulting..... If you ever provoke me again, you'd better consider switching faculty as I can assure you your life in Dental will be your worst nightmare ever.

In memory.

If time can heal, why is my heart still feeling the pain?

It's been exactly 3 months. More or less than same time as tonight.

Never to regret over my own decision, that's what i learn from the experience.

Cant resist flipping through my entries... feeling like a fool... all i see is my naivety in my words.

Chinese has best put it, "緣和份".... it's two different things.

I'm glad that we have met, giving so many colours in our lifes;

but perhaps, we can have a better future if we meet sometime later, when the way we think is no longer the same, the environment is different..... perhaps.

很久以後 - 梁靜茹

一片空白　腦袋只剩冰塊
曾經你的溫柔　最後只剩沉默
我想不起來　你為什麼離開
那天你說分手　我才恍然明白

很久以後　看見你的笑容　
很久以後　終於學會放手　
我傷過的你　也許不再難過　
想起你的輪廓　也許很久以後　以後

灰色的天　一點一滴沉澱
那雙褪色的鞋　帶你走了多遠
口袋的昨天　答錄機的留言
像無聲的畫面　消失在我眼前