Monday, March 29, 2010

Day 189, 190, 191, 192 and 193.

A whole week has passed without me even logging onto this site. Busy? No. Self Isolation? Definitely.

What I can say is.... life is not always going the way you wanted... I should have realized this earlier.... there were so many signs but i just fail to take note.

I have once again, failed the leadership exercise assessment. I'm just one more go before i got expelled from here.... future looks pretty grim...

I cant help myself but feel defeated... I've gave the best shot but still.... it didnt work out...

Parents and friends are all being supportive... but it's just me that I cant face... when I finally thought I've found my way in life... some job that I treasure.... but now I'm screwing that up..... frustrated.

I feel weak... I turned to God for answer... maybe he has plans for me, but I just dont get it.... I'm covered in darkness now...

I should have died were my mind was weaker.... in severe despair and lost of goal in life.... suicide thoughts can come in quite easily... shame i still got things that I treasure in life.... I just cant die yet.

Will I be able to turn this all around? Pull out the 'great escape' here? I dunno.

One can only hope.

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